binged 3 days straight and i hate myself so much? i can't stop crying

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thewannadies12345
thewannadies12345 Posts: 4 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
i've been doing so good and since i dont have a scale (only a measuring tape) i dont know how many pounds i've lost, but i know i have. (clothes are looser, taking pics every week,) but sunday, monday and today i have WASTED with stupid binges that i feel like i could no control... i just feel hopeless and as if i try to start back again, it'll just be from the beginning..... I really don't know how many calories i ate because it was homemade food... and it was all the same food the last three days (alfredo pasta and butterscotch oatmeal cookies ) i just want to die. i panicked yesterday and today and i made myself throw it up and i still feel like crap.... please, any help? i don't want to feel like this forever... i don't want to go back to being fatter...

Replies

  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    You need to speak to a professional about your relationship with food before you head down a truly dangerous road.
  • thewannadies12345
    thewannadies12345 Posts: 4 Member
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    malibu927 wrote: »
    You need to speak to a professional about your relationship with food before you head down a truly dangerous road.

    and that's the only advice you have? not what i can do to reverse the damage???
  • mcc_lea
    mcc_lea Posts: 7 Member
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    You're asking for a bandaid solution. Rather than focusing on how to make up for the binging, you should talk to a professional about your relationship with food in order to figure out how to avoid future binges.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited July 2015
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    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    You need to speak to a professional about your relationship with food before you head down a truly dangerous road.

    and that's the only advice you have? not what i can do to reverse the damage???

    You're binging and making yourself throw up.

    **** yeah you need to speak to a professional!

    :astonished:
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
  • thewannadies12345
    thewannadies12345 Posts: 4 Member
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    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    Get. Help.
  • thewannadies12345
    thewannadies12345 Posts: 4 Member
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    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    Get. Help.
    How :(? what if i don't have the money :(?
  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    Go see a doctor. Seriously. Empowering you for the sort of behavior is as bad as the behavior itself.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    As someone who has dealt with mental illness personally for close to fifteen years, I really suggest you speak to someone. Can you go to a school counselor about this, or a close friend, relative, or neighbor who will listen to you?
  • 85Cardinals
    85Cardinals Posts: 733 Member
    edited July 2015
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    You can't change the past. Wake up tomorrow and try to do better. Control the things you're in control of. Get back into the good eating habits you had before. I've found walking half an hour every day reduces stress. Good luck to you!
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
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    You sound like you're in a bad place and it has nothing to do with what you've been eating. Even your username suggests desperation. Please, talk to someone... it's not healthy to purge, cry uncontrollably and "want to die" because you got a little too friendly with some fettuccine.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    Hugs, OP. Sorry you feel this way :(
  • nija1523
    nija1523 Posts: 16 Member
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    You know I binge and hate it, but everyday is a new day! So what if you binged for 3 days, it isn't the end of the world. You hold the power to make a change. I don't know you, but I do know determination and dedication will pay off if you stay true to your goal. Leave those 3 days in the past and put your best foot forward in the morning! Each day after that, do your best! You can do it!!!!!
  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
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    I agree with the others that you do need to speak to a professional about your relationship with food, especially since you are willing to throw food up in order to mitigate the damage.

    On another note, tomorrow is a new day for you to get yourself back on track. I have lost almost 70 pounds in the last 18 months by going slow and steady and having days were I ate more than I should have ate. I just add to look at why I overate so much and figure out a healthy way to avoid that trigger in the future. For example, I would go out with friends once a week and undo my hard work for the entire week by eating large portions, desserts, and alcoholic drinks. I realized that I needed to make changes and to quit sabotaging myself. I now drink water, split a dessert with the table, and try to take half the meal home to eat as lunch the next day. This has made a huge difference in my weight loss. You will find that losing weight will make you feel like a failure a lot of times before you feel like you are successful. You have to keep moving forward!

    If you have an argument with your family again, what are some non-food related ways that you can deal with the argument that is healthy? You may want to look at your daily calorie goal, is it too aggressive? That could be part of the reason that you felt no control over the binge because you have limited your calories too much. Unless you have ate 3,500 calories over your needed calories every day over the last three days, you have not gained back all of the weight that you lost before.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    Get. Help.
    How :(? what if i don't have the money :(?
    malibu927 wrote: »
    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    Can you go to a school counselor about this, or a close friend, relative, or neighbor who will listen to you?

    Second this - do you go to school?
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Here are some resources which may be helpful: http://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,751 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Sounds like you have a lot going on and you are using food and your body to reflect your emotions... which definitely doesn't result in a healthy relationship with food!

    Talking to friends or school counselors or your doctor sounds about right.

    I can't see your profile on my phone; but, spark teens may also be an appropriate suggestion for you.

    Strictly speaking about your behaviour regarding the Fettuccini and cookies a) it is doubtful you've done long term damage yet and b) just STOP IT.

    If you honestly can't STOP doing that then yes, you should try to get help from a counsellor and/or a doctor.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited July 2015
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    For right now - try to just take some deep breaths. Literally. Deep breaths. That will help you calm your body.

    Is it late where you are, can you take a walk outside?

    If not, have a glass of cold water, with ice if there's some around, or splash your face with some cold water.
    thewannadies12345 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    Three days probably didn't do as much damage as you believe. However, if you're binging and purging, you need to speak with someone who can help you. You could be restricting your diet too much, or there could be an emotional reason as to why you did it. Only they can figure it out, nobody on MFP is qualified to.
    I live with my mom and brothers and i recently got in a REALLY bad fight with them all and haven't talked to anyone in days.... i feel like i have no one to talk to about anything and like a failure.. i already feel horrible about that and i just need some uplifting advice of some sort

    It must feel like the standoff is going to last forever, and it must hurt to feel so alone right now. But, this will pass. Everyone will settle down sooner or later, and whatever happened, it's something that can be worked on.
  • SteffieSunshine
    SteffieSunshine Posts: 61 Member
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    Tomorrow is a new day, sweetie! Don't get too down on yourself for "falling off the wagon". You have asked for help, so you know it wasn't the best thing to do. But to "want to die" because you overate? We have ALL been in the place where we feel like crap after that 2nd Snickers (or third!). Please, remember that you are beautiful, and you matter. Matter to yourself. Start over tomorrow! And if you fail again...try again. You're worth it! <3

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