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bwallacebw19
bwallacebw19 Posts: 5 Member
in Getting Started
Hi everyone I am a wife and mother of 3. I have so many reasons to get healthy but the main reason is to be healthy for my children ages 12,7 &5. I feel like it's them against me in this challenge. When I do the shopping it's fresh fruit and veggies and meats what dairy we need. If he shops it chips and sweets and quick junk food. I have been so strong to stay way from that stuff. It's just heart breaking to feel like I have no support. Not to mention our 6 year old is over weight and it's causing back problems for her. I involve her in every activity I do as walking bike riding swimming and she loves it. I guess my question is do any of you feel like your fighting your family to be healthy and what do you do to get past it? I have been so proud of my self, I lost 2 pounds in the first 10 days and I really want to continue with the support of my family.

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  • as5811
    as5811 Posts: 62 Member
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    Congratulations on your loss. It sounds like you are motivated and want to get healthy. I started out with the same issues. My family are snackers & really didn't realize until I wanted to avoid all that stuff. My husband is the worst! Things changed when his blood work came back not so good. The doctor told him he neede to change his diet & lose weight. That left me to figure it out since I cooked & packed his lunch. I've stayed motivated for myself & managed to lose 16 lbs & exercise. You are trying for yourself & working to get your daughter motivated. She's still growing & if you keep her active & eating healthier - she hopefully will lose as she grows.
    Stay with it! I put all the snacks in a cupboard so I didn't see & wasn't tempted. I have some friends on MFP that help to keep motivated, too. Once your family sees your weight loss results - you may see an attitude change in them. Don't give up!!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    bwallacebw19 wrote: »
    Hi everyone I am a wife and mother of 3. I have so many reasons to get healthy but the main reason is to be healthy for my children ages 12,7 &5. I feel like it's them against me in this challenge. When I do the shopping it's fresh fruit and veggies and meats what dairy we need. If he shops it chips and sweets and quick junk food. I have been so strong to stay way from that stuff. It's just heart breaking to feel like I have no support. Not to mention our 6 year old is over weight and it's causing back problems for her. I involve her in every activity I do as walking bike riding swimming and she loves it. I guess my question is do any of you feel like your fighting your family to be healthy and what do you do to get past it? I have been so proud of my self, I lost 2 pounds in the first 10 days and I really want to continue with the support of my family.

    Can you not just agree on what food to buy - both healthy stuff and treat food? Just have a conversation before one of you goes shopping...
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    bwallacebw19 wrote: »
    Not to mention our 6 year old is over weight and it's causing back problems for her.

    Well that's really not good. Time for a frank chat with your partner.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    I'm losing weight on my own. It's certainly possible, if not ideal. My husband has at least learned not to bring home junk food for me.

    I'm not sure if you have had conversations with your 6 year old or talked about her being overweight with your husband in front of her but I'd be very careful how you approach this. Talking about being healthy and staying active is much better than talking about being "too fat" or "overweight". Better to set her up for a healthy life by setting an example and not talking about why you're doing it, if you get what I mean.

    As far as the husband, it may be time for a serious chat without the kids around.
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    It is utterly unacceptable to have overweight children. He needs a SWIFT come-to-Jesus and a kick in the rear. If someone were endangering the health of my children, there is NOTHING I wouldn't do to stop that.
  • tephanies1234
    tephanies1234 Posts: 299 Member
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    Kids can have snacks and not be overweight. I had snacks everyday growing up and I have never been in the overweight category. Sounds like limits to snack intake has not been taught/limited or she's being overfed at meal time considering what she ate during the rest of that day? Getting her active is great.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Nothing wrong with snacks and sweets as long as they are in moderation. Find a happy medium, but don't rely on your husband to change - that's something he needs to decide on his own. Having said that the most powerful impact on your children's lives will be your behavior (you and your husband), not what you say, but what you do.

    Instead of focusing on weight loss, focus on activities and get your family more active and consistent about it. The weight will come off as a side effect.

    When trying to get someone else to change you can apply the carrot or the stick, but the carrot will likely be much more effective.
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
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    I would make sure he knows your plan, and come up with an acceptable weekly shopping list. Yes, you may compromise and agree to include some "junk". That's ok. I would limit it because the more variety in the house, the more tempting (one brand of cookies may get old, but 5 different brands will not).

    Also, being that I am short and need a step stool to reach the cabinet above our fridge, I designated that as the spot for the most decadent sweets. Of course I can always get it (with the step stool), but it is more deliberate than just casually picking at it every day, and automatically helps me eat less.
  • HarleyQuinn34
    HarleyQuinn34 Posts: 38 Member
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    i am so sorry you don't have the support at home. As someone who grew up as an overweight child, it only gets harder for them the longer it goes on.

    i would absolutely have a very serious talk with your husband without the kids around about making sure the right food choices are being made for the family as a whole, as well as making sure everyone is active and healthy

    i've been lucky and my husband is on board with both of us losing weight and getting healthy, it's so much easier when the entire family makes the change- and for us, it really is a lifestyle change, not just a diet to be on until we lose weight. it's just our way of life now, we eat better and move more

    good luck!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    Whatever you do, do not let the kid hear you talk about her weight. Don't even do it when she's asleep. If she hears it, she could get set up for a lifetime of issues. Do it when you're away from her.

    Don't worry about her weight right now. Don't enforce a diet, I mean. Just feed her normal amounts of healthy food and keep her active. She's growing. If you feed her well and keep her active, the fat will come off.

    I don't know you or your husband, but if he's a decent guy, he should understand that you worry about the children's health and want to not only have them be healthy now, but develop eating habits that will keep them healthy for life. If the child is overweight, I'm sure the doctor mentioned it or at least gave you a chart showing where she was. You can mention it in the "We need to be a little more healthy about our eating around here!" talk,

    Getting your whole family to change their eating habits may be hard, but if you and your husband take charge, you can do it. Kids grumble and moan, but they'll get used to it. They don't always want to bathe, brush heir teeth or clean their rooms,either. Just another good habit they can moan about while they develop it. :)

    Good luck!
  • schandler1011
    schandler1011 Posts: 83 Member
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    Keep up the good work! I think it always helps to find healthy snacks that the kids will like and keep those around. Maybe limit the treats to special days? I'm not sure, but good luck! It is really good to lead by example! It was hard for me to stick to the program I was doing until my boyfriend saw my results and then he wanted to do it too!

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