weight issue and cheating husband

esha79
esha79 Posts: 1
edited September 27 in Introduce Yourself
hi my name is esha i ve been married for last nine years.i ve two beautiful daughters ages 3.5 and 1.5.my weight was 130 and now i am 192 pounds other day i found one of my husbands email password where i found some nasty pictures with a girl when i asked he said i hate you you look like a cow not a women any more ni was so disappointed i want to loose my weight as i used to b4 and then i also want to get a foto shoot as my husband did i also will change partner as my husband did please help me.i want to achieve my goal b4 winter please give me some suggestions that how i can do i will be great ful to all of you.thanks in anticipation

Replies

  • nomorefatbitch
    nomorefatbitch Posts: 279
    Oh Esha

    I am so sorry that you have gone through that.

    I haven't seen you, but I have no doubt you are beautiful :)

    If you want to lose weight for YOU - then do it.

    Anyone who would do what your husband has done, isn't worth your time or trouble.

    Good luck to you Sweetie.

    You'll find support here.

    Grace
  • 1111renee
    1111renee Posts: 108 Member
    first off......sorry to hear...........second, you should do this for you and not him........you will get to lookin' hot and he will have to see what he lost... good luck!
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    from your story here, your husband sounds like a ****.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    He also sounds like a **** head.
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
    1st thing I'd do is get angry and take all your aggression out at the gym. Run it off, walk it off, dance it off, but get it out; don't bottle things up. Be sad, but try not to pitty yourself too much, b/c that could lead to depression and lack of motivation. Tell yourself every day how beautiful and wonderful and strong you are. You can do this!
  • mzjandiace
    mzjandiace Posts: 162
    Sorry to hear this~ been there done that with my first husband, the FIRST thing you have to do is to learn to LOVE yourself; once you do that, then you will want to become healthy for yourself and your children. DO NOT and I mean DO NOT do this for him; because I can pretty much guarantee that when you lose the weight he will find something else wrong with you.

    Good Luck on this journey, and pray and ask GOD for guidance.
  • Wendysworld13
    Wendysworld13 Posts: 225 Member
    What we are all saying is hard to hear, but the truth.

    Anyone who can't appreciate the inner you no matter what the package is not worth being with - so...

    Lose the loser - figure out what you can do with your lovely children so you can survive and tell him to hit the road - you do not want to raise kids with a man you can't trust or who could get you sick with whatever bimbo he may be sleeping with.

    Then work on eating healthier - small steps. Throw out the junk food and teach you kids healthy eating habits. Make meal time family time and introduce and try new things - especially fruits and vegetables.

    Third, try to use My Fitness Pal - we are all here as support for each other. Explore the site well and let your heart lead you.

    You are a beautiful whole woman who deserves someones love and respect. Reach for the ring.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    I have had weight issues among other issues my entire life!
    I feel your pain! Sounds like ur hubby is a selfish *kitten*! Stay strong and be true to YOU!
  • caterpillar2Butterfly
    caterpillar2Butterfly Posts: 134
    Forget him he is a A**,, Start putting yourself first and take care of you for you!
  • TakuraHunt
    TakuraHunt Posts: 208
    I am very sorry to hear about what he has done. I think you should do this for you, and not him. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of nowing he aided in your motivation. Plus you will get the pleasure of flaunting your new, fit, slim body in front of him, but not for him. Never let him know he broke you - hold your head up, stay motivated, set and achieve your goals, than give his cheating @ss the boot... :wink:
  • drasr
    drasr Posts: 181
    I feel for you. But that's the wrong approach. If you do the same thing that he did then there won't be any difference between you too. And i am sure you don't want that. Lose weight for yourself and not to get back at him. It appears that your partner doesn't love you anymore. Whether you want out is upto you but that's usually the right thing to do. I am sure you will find your soulmate who loves you regardless of how you look.
  • PaulaJKelly
    PaulaJKelly Posts: 96
    Take care of yourself and your children. Lose the weight for yourself so that you will be healthy and strong. Start logging in your food - own it if you eat too much - and you will want to start making healthy changes. Figure out how much protein you need as it helps will feeling full and curbing your appetite. Drink 10+ (8 oz) glasses of water a day. I know it sounds impossible but your body does adapt.

    I don't think it would matter what you weighed. I think your husband attacked you verbally because you caught him. So by viciously demeaning you and trying to blame you for his choices, it makes him feel that it is his right somehow. It is never a spouses right to cheat.

    So for now, take care of yourself. Believe you are worth it because you are. Take care of your kids. Lose weight so that you will be able to be there for your children and because you will be healthy. The husband............not so much.

    Good luck in your journey. I think you will find support here to get through this tremendous valley in your life. I pray that you will know that God loves you and wants only good things for you.
  • dmitche3
    dmitche3 Posts: 4
    hello, my name is dj and I just want to tell you that he's the one with the problem not u and if ur weight is what made him leave then he didn't love u for u anyway! i would love to be 194 or in the 100's so don't do this for him and the situation do it for u and like me never let urself get comfortable with unhealthy habits cause people say they love u no matter what but that's not the case most of the time. sorry that u found out that way but it 's better than finding out at the dr.'s office.
  • kepete
    kepete Posts: 268 Member
    You & your girls are what's important. His negative talk isn't good for you as a person and will be even worse for those two precious babies if you allow it to continue! You need to do what's right for the three of you, be it counseling, leaving or losing weight. I'll keep you in my prayers ... Keep safe ... Rise above the negativity ... Always remember you are beautiful ... Hang in there!
  • tanyaMax
    tanyaMax Posts: 524 Member
    So sorry to hear this. do this for you and your kids... to be healthy , to be comfortable in your own skin. the rest will fall inot place. get moving...if need be start with walking and work your way up. if you dont have a gym membership (i dont) by a couple of dvds...i like bigger loser ones and billy banks taebo...best of luck to you
  • parvati
    parvati Posts: 432 Member
    You've come to the right place for friendship, guidance & support. I'm sure I speak for everyone who commented on this thread, to welcome you to add us as friends to help you in your journey!

    The gym will definitely give you an outlet for your anger & pain. You do need to heal yourself spiritually as well, both for you & your daughters!

    Don't let him break your spirit, you are beautiful & anything that you want in this world is yours for the taking!!
    Hugs
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
    I went through the same thing with my ex boyfriend. When I met him, I was 180. While with him, I got up to 260. Yikes! I found out he was cheating on me, and I decided I was going to leave him. I had a lot of anger, and I channeled it into working out; getting back to my pre-relationship weight. It's definitely working. I have 29 more pounds to lose. You do NOT deserve to be treated the way you're being treated. No one does. Do whatever you have to in order to leave him and you and your kids will be much happier, I'm sure. Most of all, know that however much you weigh, or whatever you look like, you're beautiful. If he can't see that, it's his loss.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Wow I am just so sorry to hear that. You should not lose weight for HIM, only do that for yourself.
  • linda962
    linda962 Posts: 1
    I am sorry to hear this has happened. What your husband has done has nothing to do with you and your weight. It is a problem with him. I am sure this would not be his only complaint even if you were a size 4. Nothing would make him happy. He would have one hoop after another for you to jump through to win his affections. The problem is he does not know how to love someone and more than likely he doesn't love himself.

    Don't punish yourself for this. Be the best that YOU can be. Know you are loved by many people, no matter what you weigh! Love those two children you have and start again. You can do this.
  • FTIM2015
    FTIM2015 Posts: 460 Member
    What a horrible HORRIBLE man!:mad: How dare he think that he can speak to you like that?! :explode:
  • FK1983
    FK1983 Posts: 186 Member
    hi my name is esha i ve been married for last nine years.i ve two beautiful daughters ages 3.5 and 1.5.my weight was 130 and now i am 192 pounds other day i found one of my husbands email password where i found some nasty pictures with a girl when i asked he said i hate you you look like a cow not a women any more ni was so disappointed i want to loose my weight as i used to b4 and then i also want to get a foto shoot as my husband did i also will change partner as my husband did please help me.i want to achieve my goal b4 winter please give me some suggestions that how i can do i will be great ful to all of you.thanks in anticipation
    Wowsa's, so sorry to hear about the cheating sc*mbag,
    You need as much support as you can get right now, do you have people you can talk too?
  • BobertC
    BobertC Posts: 123
    wow, what an *kitten*. do what you feel is right for you and your kids.
  • Cblue541
    Cblue541 Posts: 17
    He is a jerk. DO it for you not for him or anyother man. Make yourself better for you and you girls. Your size has nothing to do with why he did what he did. A real man who really loved you would be by you no matter what and if he wanted you to get healthy then he would have worked with you to get you thay way. He used your size as an excuse for his bull!!! Dont be sorry for yourself be happy that your free!!!!!!!
  • sw33tp3a11
    sw33tp3a11 Posts: 4,646 Member
    This will never work if you do it for him. You need to heal and get your priorities straight. Losing weight is not gonna make all the pain he put you through go away. It sounds like he doesnt love you any more ppl dont do that to someone they love. Stay strong and make small changes. But make sure you do this for you. You are in control. Not him. Good luck hun and we will be here for support on your weight loss journey :)
  • satnat
    satnat Posts: 7
    unbelievable! you are strong and beautiful. don't forget that :) and like others said, 1) get rid of the *kitten*, and 2) lose weight for YOURSELF.

    stay strong!
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