How do you handle friends who are much heavier?

SugarBearRetired
SugarBearRetired Posts: 76 Member
edited November 2023 in Health and Weight Loss
I am 5'3" and weigh 150 pounds. My best adult weight is around 125-128, so I have substantial pounds to lose. A good friend, who is also diabetic by the way, is 5'2" and weighs close to 200 pounds. She is also on a diet plan and is trying to lose weight, but instead of being supportive of my efforts, she minimizes my problem saying things like "Oh I'd kill to weigh 150!" and rolls her eyes like I"m being ridiculous. I know part of her is trying to compliment me, but I also sense she's annoyed when I talk about my diet woes or successes. Like because she has so much more to lose that I'm being insensitive or something. How can I make her understand my wanting to lose 20-25 pounds is just as important to me, and we should support each other?

Replies

  • SugarBearRetired
    SugarBearRetired Posts: 76 Member
    I am 5'3" and weigh 150 pounds. My best adult weight is around 125-128, so I have substantial pounds to lose. A good friend, who is also diabetic by the way, is 5'2" and weighs close to 200 pounds. She is also on a diet plan and is trying to lose weight, but instead of being supportive of my efforts, she minimizes my problem saying things like "Oh I'd kill to weigh 150!" and rolls her eyes like I"m being ridiculous. I know part of her is trying to compliment me, but I also sense she's annoyed when I talk about my diet woes or successes. Like because she has so much more to lose that I'm being insensitive or something. How can I make her understand my wanting to lose 20-25 pounds is just as important to me, and we should support each other?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,420 Member
    I know this is not probably what you want to hear, but - you can't "make" her do anything. You can only control your reaction to her.
  • SugarBearRetired
    SugarBearRetired Posts: 76 Member
    I understand that, but I'd like her to understand that I'm on her side, and we can help each other.
  • EHBRown28
    EHBRown28 Posts: 33 Member
    SugarBear,

    I understand where you are coming from. To me, the 17 pounds that I had to lose when I started seemed insurmountable. To others who have more to lose, they might feel like your friend. However, it is still my goal and I still have to make lifestyle changes to achieve that goal.

    Unfortunately, no person can make another person do (or stop doing) anything. You could however mention to your friend that your lifestyle choice to lose weight is very important to you and you'd love her support. You can tell her that you support her in her goals as well. Other than that, there isn't much we can do to change another human being. And we as a human race, sure do try though! Good luck with your goals!!!
  • raine
    raine Posts: 4 Member
    i have a similar problem with my friend. i'm 5'2 and now 176, (huge difference than i used to be) and obviously still need to lose more. a friend of mine who is 5'7 and 335 just doesn't get it sometimes. she says i'm only bothered because i'm an inbetween size (12) and if i was either a 10 or 14 it wouldn't bother me. when we go out for dinner and i get a salad with no dressing, a chicken breast and a green tea with no sugar, she rolls her eyes and talks about her meal and dessert - including why she's happy (because she doesn't worry about her weight) and i'm not (because i can't get over what other people think of me (so NOT true, cause i'm the only one in the change room).
    just understand that just like not worrying about what you're eating in comparison to others, don't worry about what others think about your goals.
    everyone is different, and you need to be happy with yourself and your decisions.
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