Years of sexual abuse now I'm ready to heal...Looking for ppl who need to lose 100+lbs

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poetickjustyce
poetickjustyce Posts: 1 Member
edited July 2015 in Getting Started
hello I am some what new to mfp. I have had the account for forever but became frustrated and inconsistent with it the first time. And now I am older and taking my health a lot more seriously. I have decided to jump back on and give it another try with diligence. But I am 29 years old and I weigh 330 and I am 5'5. I have always been overweight for my age for as long as I can remember. I have battled with sexual,mental, emotional, physical abuse all of my childhood and I believe my experience led me where I am right now with my weight. And on top of that I have PCOS that keeps me gaining weight. I have moderately to severe scoliosis, uneven legs, pigeon toed and bow legged I have arthritis and a slipped disc in my lower back that hinders me from doing most exercises. I am in a place of my life where I have become desperate. So I am looking for people that need to lose an 100+lbs like I do. And I need to hear from people who have done it and are living successfully. I need some motivation for my soul and to boost my spirit. I use to do it on my own and I can't do this alone anymore. I need some encouragement I need some consistent help and guidance. I used my weight as a shield against people and now I want to be free. I want to look and be confident, powerful and strong. My weight makes me look vulnerable, reckless, lazy and out of control. I don't want my abusers to have power over me anymore. With each pound I lose that one ounce of myself I take back. That's one pound of power I gain. That's whAt I want but I need others to help me get there. Thanks :oi1tjct5c8mu2.jpg
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Replies

  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    Well... I only need to loose about 70 pounds right at the moment but when I was your age I was about your weight. That was 16 years ago. I think we have a lot in common. I was holding onto weight for some of the same reasons.

    Diet is important and MFP is a valuable and effective resource, but also are you working on the other things? You need to find your inner strength. Develop a good sense of self worth and confidence. None of this is fixed over night but you can totally do this!

    As a very good friend said to me a few years ago. "They f'ed up the first half of your life, don't give them the rest."



  • kg047
    kg047 Posts: 95 Member
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    Hello. I totally agree with shadowfax_c11. You have to know that you are worthy of all good things. I hope that you can answer the question posed by shadowfax_c11. That is going to be critical to your on going and long term success. You can totally do this!!!!

    You can add me as a friend if you like. I am here to support.
  • Btbeam
    Btbeam Posts: 252 Member
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    Welcome back and thank you for having the courage to just lay it all out there. I am so sorry that you have experienced so much abuse in your life. Nobody deserves that. I hope your working toward full healing from that situation. As far as the weight goes I was 450 lbs in August 2014. I am currently 271. I know the battle seems long and you will never get there. I am here to tell you that you CAN do this. Just try and make each day the best you can. Don't expect perfection from yourself. Feel free to add me for support. Good Luck
  • tdillabo
    tdillabo Posts: 40 Member
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    You can add me....I am by no means a health food expert as I still eat whatever I want but I stay within my calorie goals and I am consistently losing each week so there really is something in this CICO thing...I started with 175lbs to lose (315lbs - 5'5" - 49yrs - cat DNA causing intense laziness <grin>) I have been using this site since Mid April and am currently 282lbs... I will send a friend request to you ...anyone else wanting to add me feel free :smile:
  • simonnedevon20
    simonnedevon20 Posts: 4 Member
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    I'm also looking to lose 100 lbs. I am a 25 year old mother of one from Atlanta. I'm 5'8 and currently 274 lbs. I'm always looking for help/friends!
  • shantina01
    shantina01 Posts: 3 Member
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    I'm also looking to lose 100 + lbs. I am a 34 year old mother of one. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been and want do desperately to lose. Part of my problem is I can't seem to get full so I eat. I need encouragement and lots of help in finding what works for me.
  • kristinhull1
    kristinhull1 Posts: 294 Member
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    Hi my names Kristin. I am 24 years old and I have 100lbs to lose also. I think we have alot in common.
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    Welcome to MFP! I hope you can find the path back to health & happiness! We're all here for you!
  • Sandcastles61
    Sandcastles61 Posts: 506 Member
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    Just sending happy thoughts and good vibes your direction <3. So proud of you for taking back the power in your life. I have no doubt your future is going to be bright and filled with good things. Just take it a day at a time :)
  • Azurite27
    Azurite27 Posts: 554 Member
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    I have several similar issues (scoliosis caused by a short leg and mental/emotional abuse) and successfully overcame them to reach a healthy weight for the first time in my life. Feel free to add me for inspiration and motivation.
  • snowiebuggie
    snowiebuggie Posts: 49 Member
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    hello, I to have PCOS as well as MS. I have pretty much been over weight my whole like heaviest I have been was 260 and that was just a few months ago. My MS makes it heart to do a lot of exercises as well I get tired easily. It wasn't till I have to have surgery and tube place in my chest that I decided that enough was enough. I didn't like the fact that the doctor told me that I was to heavy to have the surgery the normal way. So I came across MFP back in March and started to track my food and then slowly add some exercising in. After going from 260lbs to 213lbs and seeing the result I found the motivation to continue. Feel freed to add me as I love helping others out
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 4,999 Member
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    Just remeber one small step at a time dont give up and you will get there I have lst 115 lbs since starting mfp in july of 2010 and have kept it off for almost 2 yrs, I still have to keep track of what I eat and exercise but iam keeping it off, losing 100+lb c

    anbe overwhelming s I just looked at 10lbs at a time , I would love to help motivate and encourage each other
  • DeweyRN
    DeweyRN Posts: 18 Member
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    I can instantly relate to your story as I was there myself 13 months ago. I had eaten my way to 340 lbs (which at 5 ft 3 in is pretty dangerous). Today I am 172 lbs. I have been set free from the layer of flesh that kept me safe and numb after years of trauma. Feel free to add me, I log in every day. I want you to know that I was once at the end of my rope and believed that I would never have victory over my food addiction. I remember the endless cycle of bingeing/self hatred/guilt/promises to start over/lying to everyone around me and fooling only myself/denial so deep and powerful that looking back it takes my breath away. I remember crying out to God, begging for rescue only to get in my car and head for the nearest fast food drive-thru. Today I am restored, I once crawled and now I run. I had to come to the end of myself and decide that I would try one last time to live. June 3rd, 2014 is my new birthday. I had the sleeve gastrectomy (after years and years of judging those that chose the surgical route). The sleeve has been only a tool, I work at my "food sobriety" every single day. I carefully plan the food I am going to eat and work out 4-5 times a week for 75-90 minutes. I still have moments where the cravings are so intense I want to crawl out of my skin but so far I have yet to overeat. There is so much more that I could share with you and I am in no way trying to tell you what your solution will look like. I really just wanted you to know that you can over come what looks and feels insurmountable. Learning to care about yourself when you have been so wounded is hard work but it can happen and it tastes better than anything I have ever eaten. You are amazing for being so fearless in sharing your story, I pray that you will discover your success story. You are worth it!
  • psalm6932
    psalm6932 Posts: 31 Member
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    I am just getting started and I have over 100 lbs to shedd away forever!!
  • StacyJ8888
    StacyJ8888 Posts: 23 Member
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    Feel free to add me as well. I am working on getting rid of my protective layers too. Started at 343 at 5'6" at 43 y/o....down to 301 as of today....about 2 months into measuring and logging. Shooting for somewhere between 140-150 pounds. I had a bad day yesterday(triggered at work), but back on track today. I lost it once in my 20's and gained it all back in an abusive marriage before I saw through the fog and I figured out I was being abused. My highest weight was somewhere north of 400lbs.
  • Asia300s
    Asia300s Posts: 3 Member
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    Hi! I too suffer from PCOS, I was diagnosed in high school a ballooned to 305 and since then it's only gone up. I lose the same 30-40 pounds every year. I know it's something in me that I need to change; it's mental not physical. I just want to see the 200's again
  • latanyamckenzie
    latanyamckenzie Posts: 26 Member
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    I am not even 200 lbs yet but I am not far from it. I will be your friend. I need to lose at least 40 lbs. It is literally a life saving quest. I want to know how people on this page are dropping the weight. You all are heros. It gives me hope.

  • NotThatGirlAnymore
    NotThatGirlAnymore Posts: 50 Member
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    You sound so strong and so courageous... I love your outlook! :)
  • hncary
    hncary Posts: 176 Member
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    Sending you a friend request. I have about 100lb to lose total, but have lost 40 of it already. You can do this. Feel free to send me a message if you ever need to talk/vent. <3
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
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    simonnedevon20 wrote: »
    I'm also looking to lose 100 lbs. I am a 25 year old mother of one from Atlanta. I'm 5'8 and currently 274 lbs. I'm always looking for help/friends!

    You are so beautiful

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