Dating after weight loss

Cortneyrenee04
Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
edited November 19 in Motivation and Support
Hey!

So, after a pretty messy break up last year, I find myself feeling ready to date. I have no idea how to go about this! I have confidence in myself, but when I'm approached my men or see someone looking at me, I immediately shut down and run away... I don't know. Maybe I'm not as ready as I think?

I won't even mention the fear I have of being intimate with someone new ad in my new body.

Could anyone share they're dating experiences after losing a significant amount of weight?

Replies

  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    Do you think this has more to do with weight loss, or whatever you went through with your messy break up?

    You're beautiful. Get out there, be confident. New body, same person.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    That's a really good point. I definitely have a fear of being hurt again. I find myself feeling very exposed now, though... Like I can't hide behind my weight. I also dress differently, carry myself differently, etc and I just don't generally know how to do this!

    Thank you for your kind words :)
  • rachellosesitall85
    rachellosesitall85 Posts: 497 Member
    This is something I often think about as well so I'm conditioning myself while I'm losing. In my situation, I used the weight as a security blanket to keep attention off of me.

    Cortney, perhaps you should invest in some new fun classes and build up your self esteem. You have this amazing new chance at life and you deserve to be happy as you earned your new body. You also deserve to love the new person you've become and for someone to love you as well. I say combat what's bothering you inside and gain some confidence so that you will project that to others. Journaling may also help get some of those feels out. Good luck!
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    Thank you :) that's a really good idea. I've been thinking about that lately, because right now I'm so focused on working out, food shopping and CLOTHES shopping (!!!) and soon I won't have those things to occupy my time. I think a fun class would be great for me! I've been thinking about dance lessons, actually.

    I guess it's just wierd getting any attention after not having it for quite a while.
  • JTB51
    JTB51 Posts: 60 Member
    I say don't worry about the intamacy part for now. Just get out there and get to know people, find someone that makes you happy, once you feel comfortable, your concerns won't be such a big deal. Take it one step at a timw.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    Thank you :)
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    Dating has been amazing for me...I am having a wonderful time. I wish that it had been this fun when I was young!

    I'm 40, don't care much about what anybody thinks and don't have any expectations or goals...so maybe I am in a different place than you are. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you are ready.

    My body has been through a whole lot--major weight gain and loss due to a health problem, several surgeries/ten scars on my abdomen, daily injections that sometimes leave bruises all over my stomach. Nobody that I've slept with seems to have noticed or cared at all.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    That's so good! Hopefully I can have as much fun as you are :)
  • indiecupcake89
    indiecupcake89 Posts: 26 Member
    Cortneyrenee04 wrote: »
    I find myself feeling very exposed now, though... Like I can't hide behind my weight. I also dress differently, carry myself differently, etc and I just don't generally know how to do this!

    This sounds like it's coming straight from my mouth!

    Although having a boyfriend seems like a nice idea, the possibility of having to eventually show him my body terrifies me. I also don't have much dating experience in general so I'm kind of hopeless for now...
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    Me too :'(
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