Why do I keep sabotaging myself?

I was never overweight so heck, I'm not one to advice you. All I am going to say that a diet is probably the hardest thing to stick to. Eat a deficit. Eat whatever you want, as long as it is a deficit. That's what helps you loose weight at the end of the day, and if you can fit in McDonalds to celebrate a milestone (and that is really what you want to do with your daily calories) then fit in a burger or two. If you have to cut out everything you love to eat, it becomes incredibly hard to stick to the way you are eating.

Don't think of it as a diet where you have to cut things out. If you want McDonalds? See if you can work it into your calories. The only "bad" food is food you don't like or has gone rotten. I eat ice cream several times a week, but it's within my calories and after I've ensured I hit my macros/micros for the day.

Maybe because you're coming out of your 'comfort' zone?

Treat every day as a new beginning; forget about a bad day, what's done is done, and you can't change it so don't look back.

I've been there, believe me. Good luck, and think happy thoughts!

malibu927 wrote: »

Don't think of it as a diet where you have to cut things out. If you want McDonalds? See if you can work it into your calories. The only "bad" food is food you don't like or has gone rotten. I eat ice cream several times a week, but it's within my calories and after I've ensured I hit my macros/micros for the day.

This. My greatest success has come from allowing myself to eat things. I just "budget" more with my calories and eat less of whatever it is. There's a world-famous frozen custard place within walking distance of my house. 1/2 a cup is 200 calories (yikes!). So I don't go very often, but I still do go. I'm planning on a walk there at the end of this month - and I'm going to get a small (still 3 servings in size) - but you'd better believe I'm going to be eating on target for the weeks leading up to that splurge. I'm also planning on pre-logging the rest of my day and being super smart about it so that I can stay below maintenance.

There are ways to eat what you want and still lose. You just have to plan and log.

I've been the same way all of my adult life - 12 years of weight gain, weight loss, strength, flab, muscle, fat...

The thing I've discovered recently is to never give up. Forgive yourself for your lapses and start again NOW, immediately. Just because you had donuts for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch doesn't mean you can't have a balanced and healthy dinner. Just because you haven't been to the gym in three months doesn't mean you can't go today after work and do 20-30 minutes on the elliptical.

It's been hard, but I'm trying to train myself to DO instead of think and be sad about what I should be doing or haven't been doing. Instead of "Man, I'm so fat and gross and ashamed of myself for not working out this month and eating pizza three days in a row" I'm trying to go with, "Man, I've made some bad decisions lately, so I'm going to the gym tonight and cooking a nice dinner instead of ordering pizza. Again."

You are the only support system that you can count on throughout this whole journey, so you have to train yourself to be supportive. Retrain your brain and your body will follow.

Lose weight the same way you plan to maintain your new weight after.

AKA stop the silly diets, eat things you like in portions that meet your daily calorie goal.

Why does one trip to McDonald's have to be the end? I've been in those moments when I say, screw it, I'm eating this, whether it's a big piece of cake, a big burger, seconds at a family dinner, whatever. But I always, always log it. I have days where I went over my goal by 1000 calories, sometimes more. It helps to log those foods and think - was that really worth it? Is my life that much better right now because I ate that food? The answer was probably no, especially if I over-ate and feel uncomfortably full. Though sometimes the answer is yes, it was worth it. Those few days I majorly exceeded my calorie goal did not hinder my overall results. Just pick yourself up and keep going.

Now that I've been at this 6 months, I feel like I really have a good idea of how to enjoy the "bad" foods I love in moderation. That will be something you will have to learn for yourself, but definitely always log and always think about what you're putting in your mouth. Pay attention when you think you feel hungry. Are you actually hungry? Also pay attention while you eat. You may put out a portion of food and think - this is NOT enough, I am going to still be hungry after I eat this. I find taking out the negativity and telling myself that this portion of food is full of nutrients that my body needs and will keep me alive and well for the next few hours really helps. I eat it slowly, chewing and tasting every bite and usually find that I am satisfied once it's gone.

I also plan for treats nearly everyday. Whether it's chocolate, ice cream, chips, whatever. Don't tell yourself anything is off-limits because it will just make you want it more. This is a huge mental game in my opinion. Once you start seeing results it makes it easier and easier to make smarter choices, eat less, and feel satisfied with the choices you're making. Even those days where you *gasp!* turn down cupcakes at the office or that extra slice of pizza at a friend's house.

I hope I haven't rambled too much. Good luck, you can do this!

JohnBarth wrote: »

My opinion is that self sabotage is a result of not a fear of failure, but a fear of success. To be successful long term, we must acknowledge that lifestyle changes with regard to diet and exercise need to become permanent. I've enjoyed a great deal of success in my journey thus far and have made a conscious effort to make sure that everything I'm doing with regard to calories and exercise is sustainable long term. This is one of the reasons that making small changes that you can make permanent are so successful.

Good luck!

Yes, particularly if fat has served as an armor or defense mechanism, self sabotage can be a major problem until the underlying issue is resolved.

COMMITMENT. Anyone can desire, want, etc. but COMMITMENT is what helps people succeed. Come hell or high water, regardless of set backs and obstacles, committed people do what it takes. But also make sure that it's a lifestyle diet you'll continue FOR LIFE. If you can't, then it's the wrong diet program to be on.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

carakit wrote: »

Over the last 7 years I have packed on the pounds. I am currently at 260 (6'2"), the lowest that I have got down to during these 7 years is about 215. Here's my problem, every time I start to lose weight I sabotage myself. I distinctly remember being weighed in at 215 and thinking wow I should treat myself. I left the gym that day and went straight to McDonald's, needless to say it has been a downward spiral and struggle ever since then.

I'm so frustrated with myself. I have tried every diet schemes to lose weight, Advocare, Weight watchers, and the No Carb diet. I lost the most weight when I was eating clean. I cant seem to stick to anything, I get bored have one bad day of eating and throw in the towel. I don't have a lot of support in my weigh loss and am feeling lost, alone, and frustrated.

I have all these things I want to do in life but my weight is holding me back. Yet here I sit doing nothing about it. I tell myself everyday that I need to get it together! This really isn't/shouldn't be this hard.....just stop eating so much!!

Has anyone else had this battle? How did you overcome it?

Hi Cara,

I can related. I was overweight/obese my entire life, and I've tried every stupid fad diet under the sun. I also sabotaged myself to high heaven, treated myself with food during success, used food to numb my feelings, and I also have a past with bulimia. Believe me, I've been there. I have been through therapy and treatment for my eating disorder, and I've done a lot of work to change my relationship with food.

About 12 years ago, I lost quite a bit of weight with the help of a trainer at the gym who taught me about weight lifting, exercise, logging food, and counting calories. However, I eventually forgot those lessons and gained about 30 pounds back over a five year period.

A few years ago, I knew I needed to do something, so I started searching for an app to log food in because I didn't want to do it by hand like I was before. Found MFP, and I've never looked back. Why? Because I've learned some valuable lessons and made some life-changing decisions in regards to weight management:

1. The only thing required to lose weight is a calorie deficit. Type of diet is irrelevant.

2. I can eat anything I want and still lose weight because the only thing required to lose weight is a calorie deficit.

3. I have power over food, it does have power over me.

4. I now eat to live, not live to eat. I eat to support the types of exercise that I choose to do, I don't exercise to eat.

So, I advise that you eat the foods you love but make sure that you stay within your calorie goals to lose weight.

You can do this!

JohnBarth wrote: »

My opinion is that self sabotage is a result of not a fear of failure, but a fear of success. To be successful long term, we must acknowledge that lifestyle changes with regard to diet and exercise need to become permanent. I've enjoyed a great deal of success in my journey thus far and have made a conscious effort to make sure that everything I'm doing with regard to calories and exercise is sustainable long term. This is one of the reasons that making small changes that you can make permanent are so successful.

Good luck!

You. I. Like.

Such a positive outlook.

jesikalovesyou wrote: »

SamZ10 wrote: »

I do this too. Way too many times to count. I do really well, lose some weight, and binge until I have gained it back. I have started working towards my "goal jeans" and its really helped.
When I first did this I took a pair of my old jeans that I really wanted to get back into and hung them on the closet door. Every morning when I get dressed, before I begin my day, I see them and its a daily reminder what I want to accomplish.
I fit into those jeans in a couple months and immediately went out and bought another smaller pair. I have those hanging in its spot.
The other thing I did to make myself face that I am not going back was clean out my closet. I took all of my "big" clothes, even my comfy pants that I wear on the days I was feeling fat, and donated them. Now I have no clothes if I start gaining back.
It's all a mind game.

I love this! I have jeans I wear to "hide" and I have "skinny" jeans in my closet. I need to throw the big jeans out and keep trying on my skinny jeans until they fit.

I did this with my uniforms. After I got pregnant, I couldn't fit into my regular uniform anymore. I had to go out and buy a new one. I was so embarrassed that the uniform I fit in was the biggest they had out in the store. I cried for days. Three years later, I am wearing my original uniform again.

It is AMAZING motivation to be able to fit in something small you've wanted to. I whole-heartedly support keeping a pair of "skinny" jeans around for motivation.

You should be so proud! I think you HAVE to have goals!