Keep failing and going nowhere, help? (long & chaos post)

GuddaB · July 2015

ah I´m not really sure where to post this.. but I just need help

I apologize in advance i´m bad a writing texts.
I´m newly 20 years old and in college.
I've spent the whole summer trying to lose weight (actually for longer than that)
but since i fell off the routine i had started forming few months back, Ive totally lost it.
I have very bad depression and suicidal thoughts which is besides the point but it´s not helping me with everything.
Ive been trying to start a regular routine of doing the work out insanity, but I just can´t continue anything I do!

I kinda am simply stuck right now.. Thinking of buying a 3 month gym membership in august if all fails and work out 2 times a day, and then start judo again in september...

I have a slow thyroid aka hypothyroid (I think) and i'm trying to change medication hopefully soon, but for now i have no energy and sleep whenever i can outside of work (fail at morning workouts because of that)
I also have problems with food, slowly for months I´m just getting this disgusted feeling everytime after eating most food choices i once enjoyed , like.. i want to throw it up after idk it´s weird. doesnt help im not a big meat eater.
Just focusing on trying chicken and veggies these days.. or buying protein powder replacements maybe idk ..

sorry that it´s long I´m honestly just lost, so so lost on what to say or do...
and if help on here will actually push me forward or not...
I just keep gaining weight instead of losing it , I´m currently 167,5 cms and 80 kgs and aiming to be around 50-55 kgs, not going so well..
So if this makes any sense to anyone... Help

?
over and out.... -hides in corner-

bmchenry02 · July 2015

First thing first...depression and suicidal thoughts need attention before your weight. That's a HUGE part of your overall health and not to be taken lightly.

From there...
Find your TDEE. Use MFP to track your food. Start an exercise program (I just started jamie Eason's free 12 week live fit) and stick with it!

If certain foods make you feel sick, avoid them. However it sounds like you have deeper issues that need attention? Otherwise there's tons of info on this site to get you started.

azulvioleta6 · July 2015

bmchenry02 wrote: »

First thing first...depression and suicidal thoughts need attention before your weight. That's a HUGE part of your overall health and not to be taken lightly.

I agree.

When you are in the middle of a depression, it is all-consuming and very much the point.

Please get some professional help. If you don't feel like you can do that yourself, ask a friend or family member for support.

Nanogg55 · July 2015

Huge hug heading your way...and please, seek some counseling. Is your family supportive? Are they aware of your struggles? Your college may also have some counseling programs available for students. The first step is finding someone to help you tackle your depression.

GuddaB · July 2015

The thing is my family actually knows about it and most of my family members are badly depressed themselfs so they personally dont care , and think i don´t need help anyway.
I think if i can get myself in a routine and see some progress , my depression may become better i guess.

Liftng4Lis · July 2015

You're 20 years old. Please seek professional help for the depression, the rest will follow.

Nanogg55 · July 2015

Don't listen to your family in this case. See if your school has any support programs available. Do you have some kind of guidance counselor or mentor?

bmchenry02 · July 2015

GuddaB wrote: »

The thing is my family actually knows about it and most of my family members are badly depressed themselfs so they personally dont care , and think i don´t need help anyway.
I think if i can get myself in a routine and see some progress , my depression may become better i guess.

Write down your goals and make them visible. Commit to one day at a time. You're headed in the right direction...you just need to keep moving there.

lilolilo920 · July 2015

Hi there! I've been dealing with a lot of your same issues (depression, suicidal thoughts & hypothyroidism) and thins are looking up for me so I hope I can help some!!
First off, I echo what everyone above said about looking for help. I know it's hard but it's worth it!
Second, are you on the correct dosage of medication for hypothyroidism? I've found that I gain much easier if my dosage is too low.
ETA I've found my depression worsens when my dosage is too low, though your case could definitely be different!!

Kalikel · July 2015

It sounds like you could be happier. A good therapist could help.

Smart people seek help when they need it. Be smart. Seek help.

jennifer_417 · July 2015

GuddaB wrote: »

The thing is my family actually knows about it and most of my family members are badly depressed themselfs so they personally dont care , and think i don´t need help anyway.
I think if i can get myself in a routine and see some progress , my depression may become better i guess.

You may see a tiny bit of relief, but the fact is, if you address the depression 1st, then the rest will be SO much easier. They really are inherently linked. Please, care enough for yourself to properly address this issue. It doesn't matter if your family doesn't think you need help. They need help, too, but if they refuse to get it, there's probably not much you can do about that.

The very best thing you can do is to take good care of yourself, then you will actually have more to help others with.

azulvioleta6 · July 2015

GuddaB wrote: »

The thing is my family actually knows about it and most of my family members are badly depressed themselfs so they personally dont care , and think i don´t need help anyway.
I think if i can get myself in a routine and see some progress , my depression may become better i guess.

Real depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain. You can't just will it away.

Find a friend, find somebody neutral to check in with about this.

It sounds like you might be on break from university, but if you can access services there, that is an excellent place to start.

kittywrangler · July 2015

My small 2 cents
I think small goals are something to start with if you find you can't complete anything. I also have depression issues and have that same problem, and found with easier to attain goals (the ones I thought were too easy) kept me motivated when I actually completed them which brings me to Insanity.
Insanity is HARD. I tried it for 3 days and then felt depleted/frustated because I didn't want to continue it. It wasn't enjoyable.
I don't know how you're feeling about the Insanity, but I'd like to suggest looking at Fitness Blender videos. Theres a lot of them. Pick one or two and try them.. At least you'll feel accomplished

Its a real problem depression and a lot of folks think those with this condition need to toughen up, get on with it, get over it, whatever. No. I understand how hopeless it can be, and the anxiety it creates and hope you can find something that can give you peace. Exercise and seeing progress was what helped for me but everyone needs to find their own path.. these are only suggestions.

tomatoey · July 2015

Really good advice from everyone about getting help for depression.

Just wanted to note that (as I'm sure you know), a little bit of exercise can help a bit with mood. If the DVDs feel daunting, just walking outside, if you can manage, would help both your body and brain.

GuddaB · July 2015

Thanks for the help everyone.
Not really sure about getting help about the depression since It´s way too expensive in my country and only way would be medication, so ill just try focusing on the exercising and try getting back ....

oh well....

Spiritfoxx96 · July 2015

Hello, I'm around your age, I am 19; If you feel the need to talk to anyone, I may not be a professional, but it's always nice to talk to someone about your problems every so often. I feel like my past can somewhat relate to your, in a sense. Feel free to add or message me. I wish you the best though everything though. Xoxo

tomatoey · July 2015

Get this book

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46674.Feeling_Good

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld · July 2015

Walk, I really can't tell you how much that helped me when I had depression a few years ago. I started of walking for 30 minutes then built up to 90. Try to do it somewhere calming, woods, round a lake etc.

Other than that you just need to toughen up on your self, set your calorie goals on here and don't let yourself make excuses to go over them. Read other peoples food diarys to see how you can eat a fair amount of food yet stay under. Good luck with it and a hug sent your way for strength x0x

anyatanu · July 2015

Hey...
Why is this depression...what will you gt frm depression...jst start healthy lifestyle..its not that difficult dear..jst balanced food on rte time..dont think much about weight jst think of healthy lifestyle..proper food...right timing...nd workouts(any kind of workout you enjoy swimmin...boxin...aerobics...anythinggggg)...automatically everythin will fall in its place..nd 80 kg z nt that hugeee to loss dear...there are so many ppl who r havin mre weight than this nd they r really wrking hard to maintain there healthy lifestyle and living happily ..so dnt loose your heart fr such small thing..you r of such young age nd jst loosin ur heart by such a small thing..hw will u cope up with upcoming difficult hurdles in life..
Jst wanna say dnt bring negative thoughts...b happy...concentrate on healthy lifestyle..wat you eat is what you look...nd most important act this moment only..dnt think i will start tomorrow or that day..ACT NOW..nd you will see how light nd good you will feel

Best wishes!!!

Duchy82 · July 2015

Hypothyroidism and depression are linked. I'm hypothyroid myself so i would say first and foremost badger your doctor to get your thyroid medication right. That will help with the low energy the need to sleep all the time (btw those to scream to me that you are way way way undermedicated for your thyroid) and it will also help with your food issues. What you describe is so familiar to me i was the same i didn't enjoy food at all i ate for the sake of eating and went for convenience as i just didn't want anything. Also exercising when undermedicated probably makes matters worse eventhough it should help with your depression. If you are having suicidal thoughts maybe it is a good idea to get some anti depressants for now from your doc just to help you get through and up on your feet again.

Once your thyroid meds are sorted the weightloss will come with the help of diet and exercise but please focus on getting help from your doctor first.

If you have any questions about hypothyroidism or anything else, you want a rant, anything, send me a message.

snowflakesav · July 2015

Big hug to you.

Getting to a spot where you feel better about yourself is not impossible.

You might need some help and I hope you can talk to someone about feeling hopeless.

A couple things that you can do are doing some kind of exercise that gets your endorpins up to help you feel better. It doesn't need to be more complicated than walking outdoors in the sunlight. If you fell like you need extra sleep... Guess what. Sleep more! There is no shame in sleeping 8 to 10 hours a day while you are healing emotionally. Sometimes we need to give in to letting ourselves rest and recover.

Think to a time or place where you felt at peace and try to visualize those elements and build them into your life. Be very gentle with yourself.

LizaJo65 · July 2015

Hi your amazing you've realised you've a problem and shared it. We can support you from afar and advise you with your diet and exercise and everyone will. However you need to go and see your Doctor and tell he or she what you have told us, they will refer you to the right places and or people to help you with your health. Remember mental Heath and physical health can both not be good at times and both can be treated. Be lucky

Dariasen · July 2015

2 months ago I was in the hospital for depression/suicidal thoughts. There was no way I could concentrate on my physical health when I didn't care about anything.

Please talk to your doctor about your depression. If the doctor is no help, you said you're in college and most have some form of conseling. Focus on your mental health. Medication does help but is not the only way. I did not go on meds but just having someone I could "dump" my thoughts and feelings on and work with frequently helped tremendously. Without help there was no way I could just "snap out of it" on my own.

I found once I started to actually enjoy life again, I cared more about about making it healthier so I could enjoy it. It becomes an uphill spiral.

999tigger · July 2015

What they all said you need to get professional help and support because you have a number of issues that need dealing with.

Weight loss by itself is straightforward, but it is not as important as dealing with the other issues you highlighted. You need to tell your Dr about them.

Weight loss itself is straight forward and it helps if you understand how it worksso you cna go about losing in an effective way. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

If you are failing then take a step back, learn the above and then start your journey with small achievable targets. You need to be patient and not expect too much of the progress or of yourself, dont demonise food, dont get frustrated and don beat yourself up.

Targets can be going for a short walk each day or just logging your food. Once you become consistent then you cna reduce the calories closer to your set traget and can increase the exercise gradually. You need to be patient and realistic, but eventually you will make progress and that will make you feel better. Exercise can be a good tonic for depression.

Good luck

ps there are a number of groups for people with thyroid problems and depression on MFP.

Fulcherj1 · July 2015

GuddaB wrote: »

Thanks for the help everyone.
Not really sure about getting help about the depression since It´s way too expensive in my country and only way would be medication, so ill just try focusing on the exercising and try getting back ....
oh well....

Would you mind sharing what country you live in? Some of us may be familiar with the resources available to you there or would be willing to do some research.

Often when someone is suffering from depression it can seem like an insurmountable task to just find a professional to help you. With that being said, I am hoping that even if mental health services are sparse wherever you live that there is still some access (that is affordable!) that we could direct you to.

999tigger · July 2015

GuddaB wrote: »

Thanks for the help everyone.
Not really sure about getting help about the depression since It´s way too expensive in my country and only way would be medication, so ill just try focusing on the exercising and try getting back ....
oh well....

Which country? Expensive or not then depression and suicudal thoughts if we are to take you seriously is far more of a pressing issue for you than weight loss. If you cannot afford a Dr then you should contact a mental helath charity or support group to get you the advice you need. You need to take it seriously.

If your depression is mild, then its possible to use exercise, but if its more than that you should get help.
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx

Keep failing and going nowhere, help? (long & chaos post)

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