Serenity now! Looking for advice.

Pokriv · July 2015

Hi!
I'm new to the boards here. I'm a 28 year old single father/graphic designer. With my work commute, I spend 10 hours a day being totally sedentary. Even when I get home, it's hard not to just fall into my sofa and turn on Seinfeld for the rest of the evening.

I started developing back problems from my weight. 6'0", 263 lbs. It started effecting my playtime with my toddler. That got me really, really depressed. Cyclical bummers.

So, anyways...
I've tried this before. Ive kept the calorie budgeting going for about a month, two or three times (until i stepped on the scale and lost motivation). I never included much physical activity though.

I've had weight problems since puberty. It all stems back to anxiety and terrible coping mechanisms/overeating.

Something finally clicked.

This time, I'm about a week into it. I'm exercising every single day.
I'm maintaining my calorie goals! I may actually be eating a little too little. It all feels kind of incredulous right now. I almost feel manic. My mind feels sharper and un-muddled. I have real energy! Lost 3 lbs!

My two questions are:
1.) Is this feeling going to drop off? How do you keep motivated when it does?
2.) Calorie question: What do you all do when you go somewhere that has food way too convoluted to really calculate (like a relatives birthday party with casseroles and entrees and pasta salads that look like they contain all of the worlds supply of olive oil). Does it just boil down to the discipline of not participating? Same with some restaurants i think. I am getting pretty good at maintaining my discipline, but i get mega mega anxiety when it comes to this "unknown"

Thank you so much for any feedback.

jaqcan · July 2015

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10213155/a-guide-to-going-out-to-eat/p1
Read through this post for awesome ideas for eating out.

eatgoodeat · July 2015

I also have a sedentary job which requires my mind to operate at a creative level all the time, same effects: more energy,more creativity with exercise/stepping away from the computer:

1) for me it hasn't and I don't believe it will. I've chosen to make it a lifestyle and an important part of what makes me who I am. The motivation is in the art of being able to create a body to be proud of just like any of our creative works.

2.) I practice flexible dieting (IIFYM) and as long as I meet my macro requirements and calories, I eat what I want nothing is off limits. Since I've been using the scale, I've been making a conscious effort to learn to eyeball and look at food for social situations but planning can help alleviate any anxiety, looking at the nutrition info before - knowing what an ounce of casserole looks like. I think importantly, giving yourself a break if you mess up 1 day won't bring everything crashing down.

What's helped the most is choosing a structured weight lifting program and just performing the motions and following the timeline. I know it's particularly hard for me to stay structured and with the program, it's been a triumph following it through thus far, I'm in my 8th week now and I'm already thinking about the next level.

Pokriv · July 2015

@eatgoodeat Thank you! Very helpful.

kittywrangler · July 2015

I think everyone finds motivation from different sources. Chances are that the feeling might drop off, but you need to catch it before its completely gone. I suffer from anxiety too, and I know I feel great when I eat right and exercise and see the scale drop. Then I'll get a headache, or have a bad day and I feel like giving up, I remind myself that I've put xxx amount of days into this venture, why give up now? I'll look here on the community boards for motivation ( although I do find sometimes there are a few posters with 'tude problems which I find demotivating) I'll take the dog for a walk, I'll go to the grocery store even and buy something different that my usual go-to meals. Sometimes motivation comes in the form of stress relief , so a pedicure/massage/movie night is needed. Who knows where your motivation might come from? Maybe it's looking at old pictures, maybe its scanning Instagram for workout ideas or recipes, or maybe it'll be going to the athletic store and getting new clothes. Maybe it'll be something simple like letting yourself watch Seinfeld, but only while on a yoga mat on the floor lifting weights and doing crunches/squats. Good luck and if you find your motivation, let me know!
You can add me if you like.

kittywrangler · July 2015

Also can you tell me about the book in your picture? LOL Looks like something I might want to read!

Pokriv · July 2015

@kittywrangler thank you. The feedback ive gotten so far has offered both inspiration and solidarity, so thank you for taking the time to post. As for the book, I'm not sure. A friend insisted I pose with it at a book sale a couple years ago. Ha!

Dariasen · July 2015

VousatyMuzPokrivnak wrote: »

Hi!

My two questions are:
1.) Is this feeling going to drop off? How do you keep motivated when it does?
2.) Calorie question: What do you all do when you go somewhere that has food way too convoluted to really calculate (like a relatives birthday party with casseroles and entrees and pasta salads that look like they contain all of the worlds supply of olive oil). Does it just boil down to the discipline of not participating? Same with some restaurants i think. I am getting pretty good at maintaining my discipline, but i get mega mega anxiety when it comes to this "unknown"

Thank you so much for any feedback.

1) I'm just finishing month 2. I haven't lost my motivation yet...which I usually do by this time. If I get bored I've been changing things up. I started walking on my lunch breaks since I can eat at my desk on the clock. It's been fun seeing how many times I can pace the parking lot in 20 mins. When I was getting into a food rut, I checked out a new grocery store and tried new things. I've also gotten my son in on getting off my rump after work by going on hikes.
2)Family Functions: I do my best to stick with 1 ingredient foods...veggies, meats, ect...so I can guesstimate what I'm consuming. I don't freak-out if I am wrong because it's not an everyday occurrence (it took a lot to get my anxiety under control with this). As soon as I am "in control" again I'm back to my normal measuring and logging.
Chain Restaurants: I preplan with the menu online.
Mom & Pop Restaurants: I guesstimate by finding similar things on from a chain restaurant menu.

Of course I'm far from goal so I have wiggle room if I'm wrong with my guess...I'm sure I'll have to be stricter as I get closer.

editorgrrl · July 2015

VousatyMuzPokrivnak wrote: »

1.) How do you keep motivated?

2.) What do you all do when you go somewhere that has food way too convoluted to really calculate?

1.) I reread the Sexypants post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1 to stay on point.

2.) I've logged for 962 days, and I've not been stumped yet. Ask the host the name of that yummy casserole, then look it up in the MFP database. You'd be surprised how much is in there.

No luck? Google it. It's probably got several different names you can try logging.

Failing that, choose the closest match in the database. Be forewarned that the database is user-generated, so it's full of junk data. (I've heard there's even human flesh in there!) Choosing a low-calorie entry won't get you to your goal.

VousatyMuzPokrivnak wrote: »

Does it just boil down to the discipline of not participating? Same with some restaurants i think. I am getting pretty good at maintaining my discipline, but i get mega mega anxiety when it comes to this "unknown."

It'll take a whole lot of trial & error to find the "sweet spot" where you're eating at an appropriate deficit for your size. But you can eat anything in moderation and still lose weight. And you'll be able to teach your toddler proper portions, and how to enjoy an active lifestyle.

You do not have to be perfect to lose weight—I'm living proof. You can do this.

tomatoey · July 2015

Nice work, good for you

VousatyMuzPokrivnak wrote: »

My two questions are:
1.) Is this feeling going to drop off? How do you keep motivated when it does?
2.) Calorie question: What do you all do when you go somewhere that has food way too convoluted to really calculate (like a relatives birthday party with casseroles and entrees and pasta salads that look like they contain all of the worlds supply of olive oil). Does it just boil down to the discipline of not participating? Same with some restaurants i think. I am getting pretty good at maintaining my discipline, but i get mega mega anxiety when it comes to this "unknown"

1 - If you're able to work out consistently, and to constantly (but reasonably) challenge yourself, and you're smart about it (let yourself recover, eat enough to fuel activity, sleep well, etc), it's going to become a basically reliable source of energy, and a key part of your stress management arsenal. It's fantastic for mood management - there is no time I feel worse coming out of a gym than I did going in (except when I'm dumb and push too hard or hurt myself). You learn this when you've done it long enough, so that you start missing it when you can't go. But until you get there, rely on habit over motivation. Make a commitment to yourself to go every day.

2. Sometimes I estimate based on the ingredients, sometimes I find comparable entries in the database and choose the highest one (or round up). There's lots of advice on here about what to do about restaurants (e.g. work it into your day by prelogging and eating less before or after; order half-portions or take some home; choose grilled over creamy/saucy things; fill up on fibrous veg). If you're going to someone's house and you know it's going to be just ridiculous in terms of calories, have a little snack beforehand that meets your targets.

VintageFeline · July 2015

Good advice above.

I'd add that one of my tips for keeping the motivation is to check in on the success stories section of the forums. I also track all of my measurements and take progress photos, that keeps me in check too. I've been doing this casually since February, seriously since April and so far so good! I think sometimes the switch just flicks and we just keep going because of that flicked switch.

Pokriv · July 2015

@Dariasen @editorgrrl @tomatoey @VintageFeline All thank you for your time! It's really brightened my day!

Liftng4Lis · July 2015

Great start! When you go out to eat, sometimes you just have to make your best guesstimate. As far as motivation, thats an inside job. What will keep you going is what got you started in the first place.
Best of luck!

BWBTrish · July 2015

For me its all about living life, normal life
So moderation

At a birthday i eat some...not a lot
When out i eat some...not a lot
etc
I eat pizza, donuts, ice cream etc
But all moderation, and my motivation is..i decided to get to a healthy weight range...and i always keep my promises to any one and myself.
There are no excuses to not do it.

For my normal daily calorie intake i make sure i am as accurate as possible because i want to lose weight. So i weigh all my food on a food scale, and only measure my liquids with cups/spoons.
I have set this rule for myself too.
This way i know that i also can eat everything i want only less. So a pretty balanced diet.
Now people will say what has this to do with your feeling motivated and focused. Well this is how my mind works.. I made these rules for myself, i am pretty disciplined. So ti helps me to stay on track, my rules, my life, my stubborn nature and the will to get to my goal.

So i made an agreement with myself and my body, i take care of it the best way i can.
And to be honest it isn't hard at all.

Lost 101 pound now in 8.5 month and have about 16 to 20 to go. And i will make it, then shift to maintenance by eating a bit more. Don't even have to change a thing because i eat everything, just a bit more.

Pokriv · July 2015

@TheOwlhouseDesigns Thank you. That is definitely helpful. I'm still battling my uge to overeat. My overeating is a pretty serious problem, because it is anxiety related. If I have high anxiety, I will eat until i make myself sick. Fortunately, since Ive started this... My hunger has been under control due to my increased determination. I think it's finally starting to feel less like "starvation panic" too. That was hard at first.
Thank you for your insight.

editorgrrl · July 2015

VousatyMuzPokrivnak wrote: »

I'm still battling my uge to overeat. My overeating is a pretty serious problem, because it is anxiety related. If I have high anxiety, I will eat until i make myself sick.

If what you're feeling isn't hunger, then food won't make you feel any better. Keep a list of non-food ways to self-soothe. Mine includes guilty pleasure TV, walking, and getting a massage.

And, of course, see a therapist. Consider mindfulness meditation and/or yoga, too. Most of all, log everything you eat & drink accurately & honestly. Logging helped me break the cycle of feel bad > overeat > feel bad. It gets better.

KateSimpson17 · July 2015

1) There are definitely days I don't feel motivated, reading through success stories on here is a big motivator for me. I also try to remember that if I mess up one day it's not going to kill me. I have a really big deficit so I have some wiggle room to keep seeing results even when it's an off day.

2) My big problem is when my boyfriend is around and wants to go out or cook me something. I have to be disciplined to eat a healthy portion size. I may not always be able to be sure exactly what's in something as far as calories, but once you've been at it a while you can get a general idea. I also try to find similar things in the database (ie today I had cheesy ham and potato casserole for lunch at work because that's what there was... also it's delicious... and although I don't know exactly how much of what is in it, I knew how much I ate and looked up something with a similar name) so I can at least get an idea of where I'm at, but once again: I have wiggle room and I have to remind myself that one day isn't going to ruin everything.

The biggest thing in all of the questions you've asked is remembering not to beat yourself up when you're not perfect. I used to be WAY closer to my goal weight, but I had a couple bad days and just gave up. Remember that no matter how many bad days there are, it's never too late to have a good day.

Eating right is hard, being fat is hard. Choose your hard.

Pokriv · July 2015

Amazing @editorgrrl @kateyb94 Thanks!

jgnatca · July 2015

Besides the great advice for staying on track, might you get a standing desk for work?

When I got my first NSV (non-scale victory) about six months after I started, I was so pumped I blogged about it and shared the story with every significant person in my life. The re-telling I am sure sustained my motivation for some time.

Later when I started running the added energy kept me running. There are endorphins involved for sure. Recovery from a strain slowed me down recently and I needed some mental toughness to get going again but re-telling my successes helps a lot.

jgnatca · July 2015

@kateyb94 it's never too late to have a good day. I'm going to remember that.

Serenity now! Looking for advice.

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