I need all help I can get !

I'm only human! I started this journey with help of my fitness trainer who I work
With aka health freak . We started dating eventually. And I'm
Not big girl or so it's just I wanna have that six pack and be hot and change my eating habits fo
My own reasons
. Like I fainted 2 months ago
Coz I
Didn't eat enough
And when
I do its cal bombs it's unbalanced . Basically my whole
Diet was so he tryed to get me
In gear . And I thank him
For it . But now we broke up and we still work togeather . It's hard not that I don't know what to eat or
So it's just hard coz part of me wanna rebell coz
I
Know he would hate that . I need all your support . Coz I know I'm not doing or never did so for him it's for
Me !so help me ! I need friends !