One year and 106 pounds later. (Pics at the end of the post.)

Age: 43
Height: 5'2.5"
Frame: Medium
SW: 262
CW: 156
GW: Under 140 somewhere
Exercise: Mostly walking, with a little bit of Zumba, low impact aerobics, and swimming thrown in for variety as I get bored easily. Some resistance work, but I keep hurting myself and having to rest and then start over from scratch.
Food Plan: Eat a couple hundred calories 5 or 6 times a day. I aim for 10,500 calories a week, and try to eat lighter in the beginning of the week so that I can have calories to play with on the weekends. This is how I want to eat in maintenance, so whenever the weight loss stops I know I am there and can just continue doing what I have been doing. (I wrote off aiming for a specific weight or range and pushing myself toward it because scale fixation and bulimia have been a real problem for me in the past.) http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/CoachJen71

Last summer, I hadn’t planned on losing weight again. At a very short 262lbs, I was resigned to being morbidly obese for the rest of my life. So when I followed a friend’s links back to Fitbit and MyFitnessPal in July 2014, I wasn’t feeling any pressure or rush to get something done. I was just curious. It all looked simple enough to me. And it was simple. Not always easy, but definitely simple. Log what I eat. Pay attention to how much I move. Make sure I eat less and move more. One year and 106lbs later I am doing more with my life now. I can stand all day while teaching or coaching. I can get down on the floor with kids and get back up again. I don’t fall through chairs anymore, and I fit in any chair in any waiting room. I also think people are no longer sneaking glances at me like I’m some sideshow spectacle.

I wanted to take time on my first Log-iversary to record some thoughts of what I have learned over the last year. That way I have them compiled in one place for future viewing during those times when I need to find my way again, or want to remember just how far I’ve come. Most of this reads like a reply to newbie post in the forums, and for good reason. I learned a lot from the forums, (some bad ideas, but mostly good ones) and they have helped keep me moving down this road of self-improvement.

* A support system is crucial. I have been so fortunate to have my MFP family, staff at the health center, and my husband to help me. That my husband chose to make the same kinds of lifestyle choices helped me that much more.

* Tools are also important. I underestimate food portions and overestimate my activity, so a digital food scale and Fitbit have become a regular part of my life. So have the bathroom scale and tape measure, but they don’t seem to have the same power over me that they did when I was younger and bulimic. I chalk it up to being older and greyer. I am finally released from that need to be perfect and model-beautiful. I am just grateful to not be the woman I was a year ago.

* Patience is key. Sometimes the scale doesn’t show me the numbers I want to see, despite sticking to my plan. I have learned that I tend to stall out for a few weeks at a time, and then drop a sizeable amount of weight in short order. I now know that not seeing those numbers change isn’t a big deal. It will happen when it’s ready to happen.

* Despite years of thinking I can’t handle sweets and flour, I am in fact able to eat those things in moderation…most of the time. Some days I can ignore the kids’ junk food in the pantry. Other days I make an impulsive grab for it. Usually it’s either feeling deprived or feeling emotional that sets me off. The most important thing is that I take the time to think about why I did it, and then apply honesty to the situation. I log everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and then I tell my MFP family what happened.

* After a lifetime membership to the picky eaters club, I am branching out. It’s taken some work, but I have been both expanding and contracting my menu. I eat rather than drink my calories. I consume far more fruits and veggies than I used to. I eat a lot fewer sugary treats, rice, pasta, and breads. And, surprisingly, I am ok with that. I actually love the healthier way I eat now. (Some days I want a treat and can’t fit it in. It helps to tell myself that I can absolutely have that yummy thing, just that today is not that day. Then I plan accordingly and make it work another time. Other days I have it anyway, and just make sure I trade out something else from my pre-planned menu and/or move more to accommodate the extra calories.)

* I seem to be someone who does well eating 5 or 6 times a day, although I am still working on getting over the idea that my supper plate has to be heaped up with restaurant size portions. I have a fear of being too hungry. This is probably from starving while in the hospital during a terrible Ulcerative Colitis flare-up as a kid, and again later on as I tried starving my excess weight off over and over. Eating more often keeps me from feeling _too_ hungry--scary hungry--and I am redefining for myself what “satisfied” from eating now means. (Hint: It no longer involves unzipping my pants or leaning to the side.)

* When I find myself down-cycling in my bipolar and am sitting too much again, I start reminding myself, “Don’t sit when you can stand. Don’t stand when you can walk. Don’t walk when you can run, dance, or swim.” Conversely, when I am in an upswing, I have to be careful not to overdo it. I have injured myself more than once in this past year from trying to do too much. Unfortunately, I never seem to remember this when I am hypo-manic. My judgement of what is ok is just off.

* Looking forward, I am trying not to fear the tightrope walking of maintenance that is coming. I lost this weight by not being uptight or fretting. I want to take that attitude and apply it to staying at a healthy weight. I know from my past dealings with bulimia and starvation diets, I have to be careful with trying to be “perfect.” If I lose my way, it’s not the end of the world. I can always stop, take a breath, remember why I started down this path to good health in the first place, and that I can do this for just one day/hour/minute. (That’s the great thing about this plan. I don’t have to do it forever, just for today.)

* I am also trying to remember that I can set other goals to replace the excitement of seeing the scale numbers drop. Health problems and injuries keep setting me back, but I will just keep on trying. Instead of aiming to lose another pound, I will be shooting to tack another mile onto my next hike with hubby.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished. Taken all at once, I could never have applied all these changes. I would have quit after one day! But making small adjustments over the course of the year made it very manageable, and I have faith in myself that I can continue making more positive changes in my life.

(The jeans I am wearing are size 14, albeit whatever a size 14 was in 1991, because they are that old.)