So terrified.

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mxj182
mxj182 Posts: 1 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I have always been a heavier guy. When i was growing up, I was definitely the class fatty. However, even with my weight i was fairly in shape. I played a lot of basketball with my brothers and we didnt have a car, so I walked everywhere. As a result even though I had more pounds than other guys, I could still go out and play sports without having to take frequent breaks or anything like that. I was never AS fit, but my weight didnt really hold me back.

When i was in my late teens I started drinking a lot. Beer. Liquid fat. I shot up to 200 lbs. And though I was aware of it, I never felt as big as I was because...well i'd always been big and it never held me back really. I dated pretty girls, I sang in bands, I played sports. The extra weight wasn't that big of a deal.

Then some things went rough it my life, i started using a lot of drugs and drinking a lot more. I gained weight and got up to 240 lbs and kind of hovered there for a while. I had moved to a new city where I had a bus pass and didnt have to walk around. My lifestyle became more sedentary.

When I was 25 I decided I wanted to make some changes. I signed up for the military and had to be able to pass the physical. But due to a very lengthy delay in recruiting, I had time to lose some weight... and I did. I got down to 206 lbs. Still a heavy guy but I had regained a lot of stamina and mobility and was looking a little more trim.

After a while, the military still hadnt called and I took an office job. And it was difficult. It ate up a lot of my time. When i wasnt at work, i was at home on the computer researching ways to be more effective at work. It was a great opportunity and I didnt want to pass it up due to a lack of skills so I would go home and work on being better at work... and that's when it started.

I would stay up late, then be tired the next day and ineffective. So I would have an energy drink and power through. Then i would go home and after work and repeat the cycle. Eventually, I was having two energy drinks. Then I took up some hobbies that ate up more of my time. So something had to go. The first thing to go was preparing my own food.

Over the last 4 years I suspect I have eaten a meal at a restaurant about 11 times/week. That same time i have also been consuming energy drinks and living a sedentary lifestyle. In 4 years I have gained 100 lbs. I have developed Sleep Apnea, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Chronic pain in my knees and back, I frequently have respiratory illness, and... i have spent a LOT of money on food and caffeine. I honestly couldnt even guess how much I've spent.

And... and now I am a mess and I am starting over. And I am terrified.

Replies

  • TFaustino67
    TFaustino67 Posts: 551 Member
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    You've taken some important first steps here by first identifying the problem. Have you formulated any goals yet?
  • kywy84
    kywy84 Posts: 20 Member
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    I understand that terrified feeling very well. I too have been terrified of this process. For me losing the weight doesn't terrify me but successfully keeping it off sure does. I think the support on this site will help me with that once that day comes. Just go one day at a time. My experiences are very different than yours, but I just recently found out that I too have sleep apnea and because my specialist wants to see if mine is genetic or not I have to lose half of me. He has given me two years to lose it. That is also scary because like you I get frequent respiratory illnesses. They aren't fun and are painful, but I am not letting them stop me this time. My plan is to realize that this is a journey and to bring people around me who are walking the same road as me. I don't feel so alone and it isn't as scary that way. It does make me feel like I have people to be accountable too. I write all that to let you know that you aren't alone, others have been there and are there now and you can do this. Good luck!!
  • tk5005
    tk5005 Posts: 5 Member
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    I am in the same boat and starting this process again. I used MyFitness pal a few years ago and lost a lot of weight. However, my current job is very sedintary and I haven't been eating the healthiest. I gained a lot of weight back and have been getting out of breath at things I used to be able to do easily.

    The first thing I did was join a 24 hour gym. This was important for me because I am super busy and always make an excuse not to go. This way I can go after I tuck the kids in bed and not miss out on any work or responsibilities during the day. Second, I have started getting rid of all the bad foods in the house and paid a visit to the local farmers market. I found that it doesn't take too much time to prepare these fruits and vegetables for the week and makes a pretty tasty lunch and snacks throughout the day.

    I'm very scared too, but this place is great and full of support. I'm looking forward to the progress we can make on here, good luck!
  • Wii_Player
    Wii_Player Posts: 924 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Embrace your journey as you will see so many great benefits from it. Imagine going back to sleeping well again, no chronic pain and so on. Just that is a great motivator. I lead a sedentary lifestyle too, so I am adding exercise to help me achieve my goals. Start small and you will see how quickly things change for the better.

    Be proud that you are taking this first step :smile:

    This journey can be scary and difficult, but so very rewarding!

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