142lbs and Heartbroken.

IMO you are not the ugly one in this situation your husband is. You should love your body access skin and all. Your children are worth it! You are not alone. Your kids need a happy healthy mommy. All the more reason to continue on the journey you started. If your husband doesn't appreciate you for the wife and mother you are then fine! You'll make it without him. You don't need that negativity in your life anyway! Be strong and focus all your energy on yourself and your kids. That is what is important.

You are beautiful! I just can't with that husband of yours. So his excuse for being unfaithful is putting the blame on you? He has a problem is he fixing it?

You are a great motivation going from 300 to 142 that is a half of you gone! WOW

MLTorres83 wrote: »

I was at 150lbs when I found out in June that my husband had been having an affair and sinking himself into porn to fill what I could not give him... a beautiful young woman with a skinny body and tight skin. I have dropped down to 134 lbs and hiked right back up to 142 since then. I am miserable, lonely, and discouraged. I know that no matter how much weight I lose I will always be ugly because of the access skin I earned dropping from 275lbs to 130lbs at 19. Then skyrocketing back to 300 after the births of my children and losing it all over again. I don't care what others think, but I do care what my husband and I think about myself, and quite frankly he has made me feel hideous, unlovable, unwanted, and unworthy. I just want to feel beautiful and healthy in my own skin. I just don't know how to get there. ~ Crying Inside.

That's an incredible loss! Gaining 8 of it back is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. After 150, you can lose 8 again!

You might need to take a look at the source of why you're feeling this way. One hint: it has nothing to do with the scale. Regardless of whether or not you want to remain with this man, you could benefit from some professional counseling. At the very least, they'll help you sort out your emotions, but maybe they can help you with your continued relationship with food as well.

maybe its time to lose the excess weight that's in the form of your husband.

I'm sorry that you feel this way and am sure you will get lots of sisterly report. Just a few points:
1. Ever considered your husband could be a jerk and not as worthwhile as you seem to think he is? He has let you down by being unfaithful, which is quite some betrayal to do to anyone in a relationship.
2. The weight issue you seem to have under control as well as having the knowledge to go from 140 to 130 if need be, but do it for yourself. Its not much weight at all and lots of MFPers would kill to be at 142, so please dont get it out of proportion. You are an expert at knowing how to lose weight. You should choose the weight you wnat to be at and lose it for yourself not anyone else.
3. The loose skin seems to be something youve had for some time and hes known about it in a way if you recovered from your major loss at 19 and its just post baby weight then some of it will come back. We have no idea how much loose skin you have. There are many on MFP who have lost and have some loose skin. You can exercise the underlying muscle and be patient but at some stage if there is too much it may not go back to normal. If you arent lifting then you should try it and it will also ive you confidence and more belief in yourself. Its hypocritical of your husband as presumably its been largely a post pregnacy in which he played his part.
4. Lose the weight for you.
5. I do hope for your sake he grows up, but sometines people change. hes certainly shown himself to be a disloyal, unreliable, unsupportive, emotionally stunted, immature, selfish idiot.
6. Whether you lose the weight or not things have changed, so you need to think about yourself and where you wnat to go. Maybe consider counseling if he is unable to man up and sort things out with you.

I hope things get better. Take on friends from here if you need the support.

Your husbands actions, as egregious and slug-like as they are, are not a rejection of you. By that I mean that your weight journey over the years, is not what drove him to do what he did. His actions are representative of him, not you. The bad part of it is that his actions hurt you and the kids.

Don't allow his bad actions, lack of respect for himself and his family, to take you down a negative path. His shame and burden should not become yours. And the reason I say that is because his actions were not done out of love for you or the family. They were done for more self-centered, selfish, destructive reasons.

Self-worth does not come from the bathroom scales nor does it come from what is seen from our eyes. Self-worth (read: love) comes from our heart and soul. Finding self-worth in who we are as individuals does not mean that we see ourselves as perfect. It simply means that we see ourselves for who we are, complete with many foibles, and we still love and appreciate the love and gift we share with ourselves and with others.

Keep loving yourself and your children. Focus on all the accomplishments you and the children have seen and experienced together as wonderfully unique individuals. Let your light shine even brighter because you are worthy by just being who you are.

That's an incredible loss! Gaining 8 of it back is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. After 150, you can lose 8 again!

You might need to take a look at the source of why you're feeling this way. One hint: it has nothing to do with the scale. Regardless of whether or not you want to remain with this man, you could benefit from some professional counseling. At the very least, they'll help you sort out your emotions, but maybe they can help you with your continued relationship with food as well. [/quote]

Agreed!

ManiacalLaugh wrote: »

You might need to take a look at the source of why you're feeling this way. One hint: it has nothing to do with the scale. Regardless of whether or not you want to remain with this man, you could benefit from some professional counseling. At the very least, they'll help you sort out your emotions, but maybe they can help you with your continued relationship with food as well.

This 100%

If you lose weight, do it for you. Take care of yourself to help you feel better in this *kitten* situation.

MLTorres83 wrote: »

I was at 150lbs when I found out in June that my husband had been having an affair and sinking himself into porn to fill what I could not give him... a beautiful young woman with a skinny body and tight skin. I have dropped down to 134 lbs and hiked right back up to 142 since then. I am miserable, lonely, and discouraged. I know that no matter how much weight I lose I will always be ugly because of the access skin I earned dropping from 275lbs to 130lbs at 19. Then skyrocketing back to 300 after the births of my children and losing it all over again. I don't care what others think, but I do care what my husband and I think about myself, and quite frankly he has made me feel hideous, unlovable, unwanted, and unworthy. I just want to feel beautiful and healthy in my own skin. I just don't know how to get there. ~ Crying Inside.

I think you are totally gorgeous. I truly believe your husband's actions have nothing to do with you.

Not gonna sugar coat. Your husband is a shallow pig. Divorce his @$$ and move on for your own sanity.

You are beautiful! What your husband did had nothing to do with what you could or couldn't give him and everything to do with his own recklessness and selfishness.

My heart bleeds for you. What a selfish, ugly person your husband is. You are amazing and must have the will power of a super hero. Don't let his tainted, ugly eyes be the measuring stick you use on yourself! Sending hugs and prayers.