giving up

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Replies

  • tremroy1
    tremroy1 Posts: 90 Member
    Thanks to everyone, I know how just cant get motivated......feeling very low.
  • karyabc
    karyabc Posts: 830 Member
    I took a quick look at your diary and what came to my mind is: 1) I don't know if I'm wrong but you are kind of eating the same thing everyday? I mean that is not a issue for me, but actually getting to know the food you love + that fits in your daily allowance + that leaves you happy/satisfied ----> is takes time and lots of trial and error

    2) don't give up, you'll be surprise how good you can get at this! seriously! I don't do it on purpose but it's like you with time are gonna learn how to combine foods/ meals without thinking too much, I promise
    > AKA don't give up so soon

    3) add friends! you will see they are eating and will take ideas from other people diaries and the extra motivation it's a big plus

    4) maybe pre logging is good tool for you, lots of people do it, they plan a week or a day ahead, and that leaves little room for mistakes.

    5) to be honest I don't know your stats but feeling sad and no fitting into our clothes is not a good feeling at all, 20 lbs it's not like you are crazy overweight but if it makes you feel so sad or bad about it , you should really try to do something about it.

    anyway good luck and hope things turn out for the better for you
  • tremroy1
    tremroy1 Posts: 90 Member
    Karyabc you have the strength I dont have right now.
  • karyabc
    karyabc Posts: 830 Member
    tremroy1 wrote: »
    Karyabc you have the strength I dont have right now.

    oh ok, my apologies if I may appear too pushy
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
    Well then you don't want it bad enought- sounds like you have your mind made up ..... Bye
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    tremroy1 wrote: »
    Thanks to everyone, I know how just cant get motivated......feeling very low.

    It's called discipline. Develop some.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    tremroy1 wrote: »
    Karyabc you have the strength I dont have right now.

    Then take a break and stop putting yourself under pressure if you cnat commit. Geting all defeatist and down on yourself wont help. If you arent ready, then you arent ready. Your mindset is not in the right place. Youll know when you are ready to commit.
  • Jill814
    Jill814 Posts: 30 Member
    you have to want to do it, i know you seem in a very dark place right now but you have a ton of people that would stand behind and support you, but only YOU can make the choice to do it. good luck!
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
    tremroy1 - hang in there. It's a constant struggle. It's not that you "don't want it bad enough", I am sure you do. but those of us that deal with other issues as well know that there are a lot of factors that can "sabotage" our efforts. It's a vicious circle. It will all fall into place at some point, and when it does, you will see the results. You can do it!
  • tremroy1
    tremroy1 Posts: 90 Member
    MDanca, thank you for the support, I am going to try it again, maybe slower, I have been on diets pretty well all of my life. I was tired of the counting, meal plans etc....I was not sleeping due to Restless leg syndrome. Been on meds for a week, just starting to kick in. Getting better sleep, more energy....but not 100%. Thanks again
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
    Don't be too hard on yourself, it only makes it worse. I know - I deal with it myself. Meds can play a big part in it too, so hopefully that will regulate and you can move on. Saw something recently that said "Treat each day as a clean slate"; my new philosophy. One day it will click.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    Is this really all about the weight thing or something else going on in your life? Looks like lots of good advice posted for you here... Hope you're receiving it and will follow what those who've been right where you are, are saying.
    It is a long haul for sure, but once you get some successes under you, that will be your inspiration! Follow your plan (a healthy one!) just for one day... be proud of it... then tomorrow make that same commitment... It adds up!
  • cbelc2
    cbelc2 Posts: 762 Member
    How many of us have gone on a hundred diets over our lifetimes? Started and restarted? Lost and gained? To make it work and stick, there has to be some things in place: a motivator, a plan, support, some fun, and enough hoompha to ride life's waves without being sucked under as soon as a stress or vacation or whatever happens. I find MFP very motivating. You can see other people's diaries? ?? Really??? Ok. Feel free to peruse mine. I eat some of the same things every day too. I've also lost 5.8 lbs in the last 8 days by tracking and adjusting as I go and sneaking in exercise opportunities. So please don't be too judgemental with the one who feels like giving up. We've all been there, and with the right things in place we can all get healthier.
  • tottie3912
    tottie3912 Posts: 48 Member
    If you are eating the same type of food daily and getting the same result, being tired, maybe switch it up to get more of a variety? Also, too low on calories = low energy. Same goes for alcohol, well for me. But I am pre-diabetic, so that just might be me?? In any case, if your calories are set at 1200, for example, and you are drinking 900 of them a day, there is an issue. Your body needs more nutrition to function properly.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    edited July 2015
    MDanca wrote: »
    Don't be too hard on yourself, it only makes it worse. I know - I deal with it myself. Meds can play a big part in it too, so hopefully that will regulate and you can move on. Saw something recently that said "Treat each day as a clean slate"; my new philosophy. One day it will click.


    Thank you MDanca for saying it!!! Tremroy, this person's got the goods! Just reading her/his posts here inspires me too. I've seen some pretty cold and hurtful comments made in some of the community threads and thought we were all here to be helpful and encouraging... so disappointing when I see that negative stuff and yes, it's bullying... like a bunch of 5th graders.
  • tremroy1
    tremroy1 Posts: 90 Member
    I do appreciate the support from all of you and I can take critics, I agree the booze has got to be reduced or eliminated. Trying to get results too fast, will eat more for energy and change up my food choices.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    Yes, sounds like you're coming up... I had alcohol issues too... it was my choice of anti- depressant... and it's a depressant! Vicious cycle and so much better without it. Literally forcing myself to get my body moving was a nightmare but after only a few days started feeling a little difference... then a little more and suddenly realized that the feeling was joy beginning to rise up... You can do this!
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
    edited July 2015
    Thanks Maggie - and FYI, I'm a she - names Mary. Don't put a picture up, mostly because right now I hate seeing pics of myself, AND it opens me up to comments from the bullies, like what happened up above...I try to be as positive as possible, not just for myself, but for others. Because I've been there. And so far it seems to be working. 26 pounds in 5 months :)
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
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  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    edited July 2015
    MDanca wrote: »
    Thanks Maggie - and FYI, I'm a she - names Mary. Don't put a picture up, mostly because right now I hate seeing pics of myself, AND it opens me up to comments from the bullies, like what happened up above...I try to be as positive as possible, not just for myself, but for others. Because I've been there. And so far it seems to be working. 26 pounds in 5 months :)

    I don't see any bullying. Noting that a person doesn't seem to want it ... lacks discipline ... isn't bullying ... it's being honest.

    I do find it funny that those complaining about "bullying" are usually the ones rushing to name calling.
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
    edited July 2015
    brianpperkins wrote: »
    MDanca wrote: »
    Thanks Maggie - and FYI, I'm a she - names Mary. Don't put a picture up, mostly because right now I hate seeing pics of myself, AND it opens me up to comments from the bullies, like what happened up above...I try to be as positive as possible, not just for myself, but for others. Because I've been there. And so far it seems to be working. 26 pounds in 5 months :)

    I don't see any bullying. Noting that a person doesn't seem to want it ... lacks discipline ... isn't bullying ... it's being honest.

    I do find it funny that those complaining about "bullying" are usually the ones rushing to name calling.

    My point is that this is a "motivation and support" page. Telling someone "It's called discipline - develop some", when they are already struggling, can in no way be construed as motivational OR supportive. Sorry.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    edited July 2015
    MDanca wrote: »
    brianpperkins wrote: »
    I don't see any bullying. Noting that a person doesn't seem to want it ... lacks discipline ... isn't bullying ... it's being honest.

    I do find it funny that those complaining about "bullying" are usually the ones rushing to name calling.

    My point is that this is a "motivation and support" page. Telling someone "It's called discipline - develop some", when they are already struggling, can in no way be construed as motivational OR supportive. Sorry.


    Coddling isn't support ... it's enabling. You go type posts when people aren't doing the right thing aren't supportive. Encouraging people down the wrong path is not support ... at best it is enabling, at worst it is counterproductive and dangerous.

    Nice backpedal from "bullying" to not meeting your view of motivational and/or supportive.
  • MDanca
    MDanca Posts: 27 Member
    edited July 2015
    brianpperkins wrote: »


    Coddling isn't support ... it's enabling. You go type posts when people aren't doing the right thing aren't supportive. Encouraging people down the wrong path is not support ... at best it is enabling, at worst it is counterproductive and dangerous.

    Nice backpedal from "bullying" to not meeting your view of motivational and/or supportive.

    maggiemay530, tremroy 1, feel free to send me a message or fiend request so we may continue this in a positive environment, as I wont come back to this post. [Edited to mod]
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    Once again the person complaining about bullying is the one actually engaging in the behavior they decry.Typical MFP hypocrisy.
  • blueriotgirl
    blueriotgirl Posts: 151 Member
    You have got some real good advice here. I can suggest keeping a journal track your measurements in it, if your having a bad day write down whats setting you off. Blast tourself in it but also praise yourself when you dont havr any negativte feelings about yourself or food. I started a journal when i started to get back in shape back in december and i tell you i was so hurtful to myself about the way i looked and how i felt. It also helps wiyh my body dysmorphia disorder (not that you have this). Once i started mfp and getting my butt moving though the negativity i was projecting started to disappear. I saw progress pounds were coming off inches disappearing and i didnt have to feel bad if i ate fajita flavored tostito scoops with queso blanco dip (my weakness lol). But i enjoyed everything in moderation not only food but exercises. I took my time and am working my way up to more challenging workouts. You can do this but you have to really want it for yourself not for your partner, not for your family or friends because youu want to change. Good luck to you please dont give up.
  • Funship
    Funship Posts: 86 Member
    I find walking to be a great mood enhancer. Not necessary to be a "speed walker" start off slow and just let your "want to walk" increase. At least that's what worked for me and now I look forward to it every day!



  • nannersp61
    nannersp61 Posts: 2,315 Member
    Don't exercise, just move more doing stuff you like to do. Don't worry about calories, just watch your sugar and carb intake. Cook more and eat out less, there's way too much sodium in restaurant/ prepackaged foods. The weight will come off when it wants to and you will enjoy your life more.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    nannersp61 wrote: »
    Don't exercise, just move more doing stuff you like to do. Don't worry about calories, just watch your sugar and carb intake. Cook more and eat out less, there's way too much sodium in restaurant/ prepackaged foods. The weight will come off when it wants to and you will enjoy your life more.

    Carb/sugar restriction is not needed for weight loss and unnecessary unless there is a medical condition in play.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    How many calories per day are you budgeting? Are you trying to lose the weight super fast? It's so easy to want to jump right to the goalpost but this kind of overwhelming run-away feeling is a frequent result of trying to reach your goal very quickly.

    Change the mindset that you're either 20 lbs overweight and miserable or at your perfect weight and happy. You'll feel better at 19 pounds overweight. Better still at 18 pounds overweight, etc etc. It's a process just like every day already is. Take it slowly and don't let it be your whole life.

    And if you are just plain depressed? That's real, too. See if you can find a good doctor and get help for it. You don't deserve to feel crappy forever and you don't have to.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    MDanca wrote: »
    I really love how these people who have to lose like 6 pounds act like they know it all, and have the nerve to get on a site that's supposed to be for SUPPORT, and criticize someone, as if shaming them is going to help. You have no idea what brought some of us here or what we have endured in our lives. Making people feel worse is not going to help. If you can't truly support, then go away. Bullies, that's what you are.

    Offering them the truth is good advice. Sometimes to move forward successfully then you need to understand the issues as they are. Taking responsibility for where you are is the first step to realising its up to you to do something about it. Its ironic you seem to know how it all works considering youve only just started here. Being reactionary, making widesweeping statements that arent true and being overly defensive is not the way to go if you wnat to tackle the weight loss issue and make it from beginning to end. No bullying and no shaming going on.

    The OP might want to lose weight, but he doesnt want it badly enough to take control. Thats what everyone who loses weight does. He has to work on a plan that might get him to the state where he is willing to do what is needed by eating less and moving more. Impressive bit of name calling there.
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