The Cries for Motivation

slp51 · July 2015

I need to get something off my chest and I sincerely mean this in the most respectful way.

As I peruse the boards, I consistently see posts from people who are looking for others to motivate them. Here's the thing. NO ONE CAN MOTIVATE YOU BUT YOU!!!!! Can we encourage and offer a congrats on a job well done? Can we make suggestions for tweaking diary entries or workout routines? Can we offer a shoulder if you've had a bad day? Yes to all of the above.

But each of us is 100% responsible for decisions we make. And on this site those decisions deal with weight loss. Each of us has to make the DECISION to lose weight, eat healthy and exercise. If we don't do it for ourselves, no one else will.

And one other thing. If you're seeking MFPals, peruse through the members list and send friend requests out to people whom you find have similar goals, intrigue you, inspire you or for whatever (honorable) reason. Do not wait for people to come to you, seek them out! You'll build your friends base so much faster that way! And you will have created a network of supporters and encouragers who will interact with you, get to know you (and vice versa) and if it works out, you'll develop mutual respect for one another. My MFPals mean the WORLD to me and there are some that I believe I'll maintain a lifelong friendship with.

So that's it. Thanks for letting me borrow the soapbox!

callsitlikeiseeit · July 2015

let me sit right here and eat my popcorn.....

999tigger · July 2015

I would think not everyone is strong.
People use motivation, when they mean support. Encouragement is half way.
The most effective motivation is by yourself with yourself. So agree.

As for hunting MFP pals out or the need to grow your friends list then people have may different straegies and needs as to type and how many or how they use the friends feature. I'd agree at not being shy, but do leave a message.

gamesandgains · July 2015

Ehh... I agree with the gist of what you're saying. However, not everyone is initially capable or able to take this on by themselves. That's why people seek support and motivation. At my heaviest weight, I relied a lot on my trainer and sister to help me get through the struggles I had and lack of motivation. Several years have passed and I fully understand that's it's 100% up to me. I've learned to take responsibility... but I learned with help from others. Like I said, I get what you're saying and all, but I feel that this site is here to help support those that are just beginning or struggling to start. It's even helpful for those of us who temporarily lose our way. I've been there and I understand what it can feel like to have no motivation. Sometimes it takes another person's motivational words to spark a real change. Just sayin..

nora_gettingfitnow · July 2015

I do agree with you in a certain respect regarding MFP friendships etc but I also slightly disagree as to define motivation is "a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way".

For some people those reasons can come from other people, so for instance when I'm having a particularly bad day and might be struggling I log into MFP and go through posts that people have put up and some of them can be really inspirational or it may be someone that has worse struggles than I do. This in turn will give me a reason to get up off my sorry *kitten* and keep going. So I personally see that as motivation from others without even knowing them.

Thats just my two cents, doesnt mean its the same for everyone but I'd like to thank my MFP friends that keep me going and also the random strangers that I don't know or am not personally friends with but their posts also give me a reason to keep going

sls450 · July 2015

Motivation is a complex topic. I have an antagonist in my life that is very successful at motivating me to succeed by telling me I can't. Motivation is contagious. I have been able to expand my level of motivation by surrounding myself with positive people.

999tigger · July 2015

Why is it complex? Its what nora defined above. Those reasons differ from person to person, its not required you understand them.

purple44444 · July 2015

I get motivation from reading these boards. It reminds me that I can do this!

slp51 · July 2015

nora_gettingfitnow wrote: »

For some people those reasons can come from other people, so for instance when I'm having a particularly bad day and might be struggling I log into MFP and go through posts that people have put up and some of them can be really inspirational or it may be someone that has worse struggles than I do. This in turn will give me a reason to get up off my sorry *kitten* and keep going. So I personally see that as motivation from others without even knowing them.

See, this is what I'm talking about. You go looking for motivation; you take it upon yourself to change your outlook, your behavior. You don't wait for someone else to come along and do it for you.

Perhaps my words weren't as eloquent as they could have been, but thanks to all who've helped me prove my point.

slp51 · July 2015

purple44444 wrote: »

I get motivation from reading these boards. It reminds me that I can do this!

And similar to my response above, you take responsibility for your decisions! That's fantastic!

NoIdea101NoIdea · July 2015

I full heartedly, 100% agree with you.

I am happy to answer questions that people have, reply to friend's statuses and give a 'good job!' to people who post that they have just run 5k, or even 1k. However, as supportive as I love to be, I don't have the time to read people's diaries every night and tell them where *I* think they have gone wrong, or message them every day to make sure they have done their exercise or whatever. That's not my job, it should be your own, personal job to make sure you do those things. I have enough trouble motivating myself to exercise sometimes!

Plus, we all know, if you're not feeling it there isn't much anyone can say that is going to convince you otherwise-it really does have to come from you.

I find motivation off these forums but I don't rely on specific people to motivate me. I tend to find that those people who come here saying 'I've got no motivation, I ate an entire chocolate cake for breakfast, I'm never going to lose weight, someone give me some tips or kick my butt' are the people that usually give up after a few weeks anyway and never come back.

So yes, we are here to support, but you need to stop making excuses and take responsibility for your actions. Sounds harsh, but that is how I feel.

LiftAllThePizzas · July 2015

Oh come on, stop being such a slacker and choose for me to want this!

Jruzer · July 2015

Relevant:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead/p1

usmcmp · July 2015

slp51 wrote: »

Can we encourage and offer a congrats on a job well done? Can we make suggestions for tweaking diary entries or workout routines? Can we offer a shoulder if you've had a bad day? Yes to all of the above.

This is what most people are looking for when they ask for motivation. They are struggling and need to know they aren't alone. They are frustrated and want to know if they are doing it right or can do it better. Sometimes they just need someone to dust them off when they fall.

Yes, we all have to do it for ourselves. In the end if we don't have enough drive to keep going we will fail. Asking for motivation isn't asking for someone to do it for us. Sometimes we just need a boost to help us see we can beat the tough parts.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage · July 2015

I have to admit that on some level I agree. Sort of. But then I have to take a step back and realize that I've been here a while, I am a motivated individual who can make a decision and stick with it. Not everyone is like that, and that's okay too. I don't know everyone's story and if there are people out there who need motivation and are seeking it out in a community of like-minded individuals, they are taking a step in the right direction. Just because it's not the way I would do it doesn't make it wrong.

The Cries for Motivation

Replies

Categories