Ashamed of being fat

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roberturb
roberturb Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just starting my weight loss journey. My goal is to weigh 195 before I turn 40 and be in better health. Would love some community support and people that are on the same path as me to motivate each other and hold each other accountable.

I wrote this a few days ago, as a starter and reminder as the road gets difficult.

My Confession.
I am brilliant, I am successful, I am a great father and good friend.
And I am fat.
And the last definition of me is the only one I think about every day of my life. While it is not the definition of my character or my worth, it has limited my life.
I can't play soccer with my son Noah like I should be able to, I am so ashamed of my appearance that when old friends come to town I make excuses to miss out on seeing them. How did I let myself go from being an incredible athlete to where I am now? While there are thousands of pictures and videos of Noah, there are none of he and I together over the last few years.
And while I have dated a couple of incredible women who saw past my weight and saw my character, kindness and humor, it effects my confidence and of course my dating circle. Who wants some out of shape guy, regardless of how kind or good he is?
Little by little the pounds slipped on and I told myself, aw I will lose it. Tomorrow.
I put all of my energy over the last few years into being dad and work, that I neglected me. With all the lessons I teach Noah, I have set a bad example in regards to loving oneself and healthy habits.
About three months ago, I decided to change my lifestyle. Instead of eating at 5 star restaurants all the time, I try to eat very healthy, organic, small meals and I am pleased that that has become part of my life. I am back in the gym and as part of my confession, also a promise to myself and to you- that before I am 40 I will be in better health and shape than I ever have been. I have a long road, but I will get there.
The whole purpose of writing this is to let you know that you are not alone in your fight- whether its alcohol, drugs or in my case weight, we can all accomplish our goals.
Stay the course. Fight the good fight.

Replies

  • chesves
    chesves Posts: 224 Member
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    Powerful words! Thank you for sharing your story!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I think it's wonderful that you are starting your journey and making this change.

    But do one thing: teach Noah this: that you are a worthy person, capable of love no matter what size you are. He needs to know that about you, so that as he grows into a man, he knows it about himself, and everyone else in his life.
  • slp51
    slp51 Posts: 201 Member
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    First of all, you do sound like a great guy and awesome father. Secondly, you are not fat. You HAVE fat. BIG difference and I would encourage you to change your mindset. Consider this metaphor: You've been carrying a 100 lb sack of sugar for a number of years. You've decided you don't want to carry it anymore but the "rules" say you can only let a little bit of sugar out of the sack at a time until it's all gone. The "rules" also say it's up to you as to how you reduce your sugar load. And there you have MFP!

    I weighed 110 lb when I got married. Somehow over the years I put 35 lbs onto my small frame (5'4"). Like you, I was sick of how I looked, how I felt, how tired I was all the time. Enter MFP. Monday, I hit my goal weight of 115, and it took me 15 months!

    Best of luck on your journey. Feel free to add me if you are looking for pals.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Dude dont sweat it you seem to have taken responsibility for it all. Id back you to get exactly where you wnat to be. if id have realised how straightforward it was id have addressed it years ago.
  • chesves
    chesves Posts: 224 Member
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    Love your messages mccindy and sip51-- great words of advice!
  • nora_gettingfitnow
    nora_gettingfitnow Posts: 108 Member
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    slp51 wrote: »
    First of all, you do sound like a great guy and awesome father. Secondly, you are not fat. You HAVE fat. BIG difference and I would encourage you to change your mindset. Consider this metaphor: You've been carrying a 100 lb sack of sugar for a number of years. You've decided you don't want to carry it anymore but the "rules" say you can only let a little bit of sugar out of the sack at a time until it's all gone. The "rules" also say it's up to you as to how you reduce your sugar load. And there you have MFP!

    I love this comment (will be using this as a push for myself) and its so true, you are an awesome guy and dad and the fact that you realised what you had to do and took the action to start ridding yourself of that fat you have is huge.
    MFP is definitely a good place to keep motivated and get support from people on the same journey as you.
    Best of luck with everything and cannot wait to hear that you are running around with Noah kicking the football and playing all the outdoor fun games that youve been waiting so long to enjoy :wink:

  • slp51
    slp51 Posts: 201 Member
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    Thank you, chesves!
  • devinnn0728
    devinnn0728 Posts: 31 Member
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    Remember to love yourself no matter how much you weigh. It is hard to motivate yourself if you don't love or like yourself. Keep your head up and keep on keepin on!
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 868 Member
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    You have nothing to be ashamed of Robert.

    You have taken the most important step and that is the one in a positive direction. Being overweight is a temporary condition. Being an awesome dad for your son is priceless.

    There is more to a person than the outer shell. Don't define yourself in such narrow and shallow terms.

    Good on you for sharing your heart on the forum, so that you can be a help and encouragement to others. That takes courage.

    Well done.
  • Annr
    Annr Posts: 2,765 Member
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    Sounds like you have all your priorities in order as you start on your journey! Remember "Losing weight isn't the key to happiness, happiness is the key to losing weight!".........Your son will appreciate your journey as well. The biggest gift we can give our children is ourselves and our time, to do things with them. Perseverence is the difference between doing what you wish to do, from those who throw in the towel.
  • raregem99
    raregem99 Posts: 88 Member
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    Excited to see you achieve this. Let's go.
  • Keklepke
    Keklepke Posts: 34 Member
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    Don't be ashamed! You should be proud of yourself! It is so hard to get on track and stay there. You can do it!! Feel free to add me if you need a friend for support :)
  • twofastdogs
    twofastdogs Posts: 37 Member
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    You sound like you have a great attitude and the will to succeed. Best of luck in your journey!
  • HannaSusi
    HannaSusi Posts: 857 Member
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    With your attitude and only great things to gain from losing the extra weight, I am 100% confident you can do this! You've made the decision, your goals are realistic. You got this.
  • jc30058
    jc30058 Posts: 22 Member
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    Wow...I never post, read a lot and learn a lot, but rarely post. Although the circumstances are different, I can relate to your honest and open words. So well put...and they truly capture what it feels like to "have it goin on" but to carry extra, unwanted weight. I love what you wrote and will remember it along my journey....and now that you've written the words and hopefully read it out loud, you can continue on your journey to be fit before forty!! Best of luck to you...I'm cheering for you and rooting you on!!!!!
  • gonettie2015
    gonettie2015 Posts: 52 Member
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    roberturb wrote: »
    ...
    Little by little the pounds slipped on and I told myself, aw I will lose it. Tomorrow.
    ...
    About three months ago, I decided to change my lifestyle.
    ...
    I have a long road, but I will get there.

    Well, you got to the *tomorrow* you had in your mind and have begun the action necessary to get to the goal (soccer pun?). Way to go!

    I didn't start off with a lot to lose but one day the stars must have lined up for me or something because out of the blue I just felt *today is the day*. MFP made my goal feel achievable. With dedication to the plan, it's working.
    You seem to have the right attitude now, and that will serve you well. The past is gone - good luck with your todays. Support is here!
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    I can so relate. I have almost no pics of me with my kids from when I was at my heaviest. If you take a look at the link in my profile you'll see something very very similar that I wrote.

    Thanks for sharing your story. You sound like a great dad. Remember your size doesn't matter to your son, he loves and admires you for you.

  • fitmap73
    fitmap73 Posts: 19 Member
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    You must lift weights that plus diet control will do more to drive sustainable weight loss. That is your priority until you get back in shape. By getting healthy you are doing what's best for you and your loved ones. Become the man you were meant to be.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Welcome to MFP! You've got this!
  • becbo22
    becbo22 Posts: 283 Member
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    Chin up, You've got this!

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