Anyone else thrive on comments from friends/loved ones?

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angelacasey736
angelacasey736 Posts: 249 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am sure this is a no-brainer but I find myself looking for someone/anyone to comment on how i look. Even though i have only lost 14 pounds - some days i feel better than others - but i feel like i have accomplished more when people notice. The problem with this is that so many of my family/friends know that i am determined to change my life and have been VERY disciplined so i wonder if they only comment to appease me. Perfect example - yesterday my aunt asked "how everything was going" with regards to excercising and dieting - and i replied well. Truthfully it has - i workout more than i have in YEARS and i do feel better - just wish the results would happen quicker. Anyway - she followed with - "well have you lost anything?" Now by this comment one would assume she OBVIOUSLY didnt notice a difference - so then why an hour later would she then say - yeah i can tell youve lost.....REALLY? Sorry to vent but just wondering how others deal with these scenerios and are able to not worry about what other people think/say.

Replies

  • amysuemartin718
    amysuemartin718 Posts: 99 Member
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    I do like to hear compliments from my friends and co-workers. My co-workers have been very supportive from day one and they always ask on Monday's how much I've lost and tell me how great I'm doing. I've had people at church stop and tell me I'm looking good. I think it helps boost your confidence and keeps you motivated.
  • JujiBean
    JujiBean Posts: 187
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    How about posting before and after pictures on here? You'll get tons of support that way! :bigsmile:
  • _eislek_
    _eislek_ Posts: 198 Member
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    I love it, and it reminds me why I started eating better and exercising. One of my friends that recently joined hadn't seen me in a few months and the first thing she said to me was "you've lost weight!" I had only lost about 7 lbs but that comment made me want to jump up and down because she was the first person to say anything!
  • brewcie
    brewcie Posts: 3
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    Angel,
    Slow and forward wins the race! You are doing great!
    It's another battle, but a battle, that is personal and you will succeeded!
    Just keep writing your thoughts and logging in.
    We are all here for each other.

    Look forward to hearing what next week, presents to you!

    Sincerely,
    Brewcie
  • innerfashionista
    innerfashionista Posts: 451 Member
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    I do enjoy the compliments, it's not just you! I have a hard time believing people, but once we feel better about ourselves I'm sure it'll change. The only person that compliments DON'T work on me are my husband. He married me fat, so he doesn't have a problem with how I look. With him, proving him wrong is the biggest motivator :)
  • sam363
    sam363 Posts: 204 Member
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    I try to tell only a few people so that I'm not overwhelmed when others ask me about my diet/weight loss. I don't like being judged when I choose to induldge on a special occasion and find that I beat myself up enough, I don't need any one else to do it. I do appreciate when others do notice and thank them with delight!
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    When I have lost weight in the past, I used to love compliments. It made me feel so happy that people noticed my hard work.

    This time around, when I lost 15 lbs I could totally see a big change, but I went home and no one said anything to me. I didn't even care! I wasn't expecting them to say anything and I didn't mind either way. I think that this time, my weight loss is for me and for me alone. It has nothing to do with how people see me. It has everything to do with my health and feeling better about myself.

    It's important to remember why you are doing this, and if you happen to be doing this to look good in the eyes of others you will probably be more than a little disappointed. I don't think it's wrong to want compliments, but it sounds a little dangerous to me. I don't think I could have lost 30lbs through being driven by compliments. It should come from a deeper place.

    That said, a great compliment feels wonderful and can definitely put a spring in my step! I don't count on them, though. :)
  • CoachMaritova
    CoachMaritova Posts: 409 Member
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    naturally I love getting compliments, who doesn't? Not only does it feed my wounded ego (from years of being over-weight) and boost my self-confidence, it shows that the effort I am putting into my fitness is visibly paying off... i often have a hard time judging subjectively. But, I hate it when the compliments are followed by the all-too-common "but..." As in, "but be sure you don't get too obsessed!" etc. or pessimistic phrases like, "I once lost 40 lbs and gained it all back 6 months later."
  • EmmaShorter
    EmmaShorter Posts: 298
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    I have a few people I can trust to tell me the truth about my weight loss. I have an aunt that will always say I have lost weight for the sake of it. Sometimes she may believe it but mostly I think she says it automatically without actually looking. My mum will tell me when I have lost weight. Same as my fiance. My sister-in-law said I was toning up well yesterday (she is a sports therapist and gave me a massage) I love getting the compliments but sometimes it takes along time to hear them from regular people. That is always great when people that dont notice things actually notice!
  • formygood2011
    formygood2011 Posts: 17 Member
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    You have done so great! I cannot wait to have lost 14 lbs! I total find that others comments can be a booster. I feel frustrated when I feel like I have to announce that I've lost if no one else seems to notice. Maybe even keeping yourself motivated by weighing out something that is 14 pounds or a picture to remind yourself that you are moving in the right direction!!

    Keep up the great work!!!
  • angelacasey736
    angelacasey736 Posts: 249 Member
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    Thank you all for taking the time to respond. One of the things i love most about this site is that there are so many considerate people out there that i know i can share my concerns with and they wont not want to hear about it. I feel like this change has totally consumed me and i am sure my friends/family are all sick of hearing about calories and excercise by now :-) But its what keeps me going for now. I totally agree that waiting or depending on comments should by no means make or break my hard work - i have a tendency to rely much too heavily on what others think - character flaw i know!
    Every day that goes by i keep telling myself i should have taken a pic when i started this but like most i am sure - i avoid the camera at all times!! Guess its better late than never right??
    You all have great points and i again thank you for helping me remember whats important - my goals and how i feel about myself!!
  • Micheller1210
    Micheller1210 Posts: 460 Member
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    Not from immediate family as they see me everyday they only notice when I get a new outfit.....but then there were the co-workers who were excited....then as time passed would start making comments, now don't lose to much, are you sure your eating enough? Then followed by more snarky comments.....but people who I havnt seen in a long time,were the generous compliments.

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