Overwhelmed

Hi there, I feel with you. Try to live a healthier life, first and foremost. Take baby steps and first of all, try not to eat alone anymore, hiding away in a closet. You are better than that ! First thing, eat at a table with your family. Once you have mastered that, the next step... and so on. The important thing is to start, one day at a time.

I don't know you, but I can tell you this. If I knew someone I loved was hiding in the closet to eat, I'd tell them to call me, no matter when, 24 hours per day, and talk to me about their feelings while she was doing it or maybe instead of doing it alone.

Maybe you have a sister or friend who's like me and would let you call.

I would suggest you look for a therapist. You sound terribly stressed and a professional can help you cope.

The babyweight is still with me... and she is 18 now hahaha

The OA sounded good for social support or you can just get similar friends here as it seems being able to share is a big help for you. Im not sure whether you are saying you have an eating disorder for which you should get help or you are just overweight.

If its the latter then its all pretty straightforward and you have to decide if you wnat to change, then figure out how to transition and change your behvaiours to stop eating your feelings and do something else instead.

One useful way that puts no pressure on you and teaches you a useful skill is:
1. Just log your food, all of it, so you understand what you are eating.
2. Start to weigh it, so it becomes more accurate.
3. The next stage is to gradually reduce the amount by set calories until you are at a deficit and then you will start to lose.

There are many other ways to transition and taking small steps, which will stop it being so overhwleming. Focusing on one day at a time will make it more manageable.
Taking care of yourself and not worrying will make you more able to deal with everything.
Once you get success then that will give you confidence and you start to feel more in control.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

Is a good start

http://www.b-eat.co.uk/assets/000/000/275/A4RecoveryTool_LowresPDF_pdf.log1_original.pdf?1423482099
Is a downloadable guid to recovering from eating disorders.

Good luck and dont worry. people on this site are losing every day and theres no reason it cnat be you.

Make a choice today to log everything you eat (including the stuff you're hiding). Tomorrow, do the same thing.....start there.

hupsii wrote: »

Hi there, I feel with you. Try to live a healthier life, first and foremost. Take baby steps and first of all, try not to eat alone anymore, hiding away in a closet. You are better than that ! First thing, eat at a table with your family. Once you have mastered that, the next step... and so on. The important thing is to start, one day at a time.

This sounds like excellent advice. Focus on one positive step at a time. Small goals lead to big rewards.

sandiegomommy wrote: »

Even with all the negative feelings I still want to eat just because...... I often eat in the closet so therefore I'm not embarrassed of the quantity and poor quality of food I consume. Sneaking food til after hours and everyone is asleep has became a addiction almost. I'm at my highest weight 212, 7 months post partum and just blah

I agree with the post that a therapist could help. I'd really urge that.

I also think that shame is extremely counterproductive and not warranted either. Coming to terms with yourself and your habits and normalizing them--and logging them and talking about them with others both likely help--can be very important. I highlighted above what I'm referring to. In my experience and what I've seen and talked about with friends this idea of eating as something shameful and that you need to hide, as abnormal, creates pressures that make it much harder to not overeat.

So I'd stop by trying to stop beating yourself up and by trying to be as honest as possible about what food you are eating (and enjoy). There's nothing wrong--as you seem to think--with likely some less nutrient dense foods or eating them. You will want to get control over what you are eating as in the overall amounts and part of that is not feeling like you have public food and food you hide and sneak.

You can totally do this, and you deserve it.

For me one thing that helps is trying to have a radically logical, unemotional approach toward food. I know what my goals are and what eating choices will help me reach them, but I don't exaggerate the significant of something like going over my calories or having one less nutritious day or making a choice that wasn't the best. It's just food, it doesn't say anything about you or make you a better or worse person based on what you choose. And it's certainly not sensible or logical or serve any purpose to feel shame about eating choices or to beat yourself up.

sandiegomommy wrote: »

I did suffer from bulemia growing up although now I suffer from the binge not the purge. Which the binge is a night alone when everyone is asleep. It's been hard and normally could keep the weight under control but now after baby, its out of control. I'm so thankful I've been able to be honest and forthcoming even if its not to my family. Just being able to put it out there and receive all this feedback has really helped put things into perspective for me. My family really don't have weight issues and looks really take priority, so you can see that image distortions are easy to come by. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin and be able to look in the mirror naked. Lol

Youll be fine and you are doing a good thing recognising the situation and working to deal with it.
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/about-eating-disorders/types-of-eating-disorder/binge-eating-disorder
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/assets/000/000/444/Beat_Understanding_ED_Guide_WEB_original.pdf?1431349325

The guide is very good and will help you understand whats happening and what you need to do.

Theres also a guide for partners who might wnat to support.
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/assets/000/000/105/Supporting_a_partner_with_an_eating_disorder_original.pdf

Its one of the leading UK Charities that specialises in eating disorders.