Self-sabotage

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sophomorelove
sophomorelove Posts: 193 Member
in Motivation and Support
I hear people say that seeing the scale go down helps with motivation, but it's the opposite for me. I don't know what it is, but seeing results on the scale an in my fitness level makes me lose all control. Every "whoosh" in my report is followed by a binging period. The second I feel any confidence in myself, I fall apart. It's the same in other aspects of my life - I have some weird aversion to praise directed at me. Does anyone else have this? It's so illogical, and I don't know how ot overcome it.

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  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited July 2015
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    If it doesnt motivate you but precipitates unhelpful behaviour then weigh less often.
    I would just take it one day at a time and structure it as much as possible prelog etc to minimise any deviation. If you canot do it on your own then you need to talk to your Dr to maybe get some therapy as to ways in which you cna alter your behaviour and identify why you are sabotaging.

    theres a couple of articles on self sabotage here. Seems its not uncommon and you have to understand why you are doing it.
    http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/stop-self-sabotage-behaviour/
    http://www.dietdetective.com/weekly-column/diet-detectives-8-tips-avoid-self-sabotaging-behaviors
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    I'd go see a psychologist if you can't find solutions for this. One who practices cognitive behaviour therapy. This will help you understand your thought patterns and how to challenge them.
  • leanlicorice
    leanlicorice Posts: 84 Member
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    Yes, I have faced that before and binged my heart out several times. It is really scary and unmotivating; you have to think about what you are worried about in order to overcome it.

    Here is what I have been afraid of by losing weight:
    - More attention - being obese has advantages in that you are often ignored/overlooked; any nasty comments are usually concealed. I also don't like it when people notice weight loss - I take it as pressure and it suddenly seems too difficult.
    - Comfort zone - I know my body at this weight and I am afraid of the unknown.
    - Too hard - it is hard work to lose the weight and even harder to maintain; you have to fix your head as well as your body and that involves a whole lifestyle change.
    - Self-loathing - I hate myself so why bother.
    - Afraid of failure - this is probably the worst of all for me. Through counseling I have traced it back to the terrible stress I felt when my parents' overreacted to my mistakes and nastily bullied and punished me.

    It is really important to find out why you are self-sabotaging so you can release yourself from these unhealthy thinking patterns and change your life for the better. Counseling or even talking it through with someone really helps. I wish you all the best.
  • sophomorelove
    sophomorelove Posts: 193 Member
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    thank you all for advice, concern, and information. I'll see a uni councelor and will keep using mfp to stay on track
  • ashalayko
    ashalayko Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi there! My advice? If the scale makes you upset even if those numbers are trending down, ditch the scale, or weigh much less frequently. I have learned the hard way that the numbers on a scale cannot define your happiness, your self-worth. Shoot for health, not a number. It is wonderful to be healthy, and you can feel great about yourself without the scale. Look in the mirror, notice positive differences in your body and appreciate yourself for you, not what the numbers say. You are worth happiness and health, and you can empower yourself to do that without allowing the scale to become your master. Best of luck. :)
  • labohn91
    labohn91 Posts: 113 Member
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    I feel similar to you, I find praise unappealing. Best regards.
  • Jessyd76
    Jessyd76 Posts: 539 Member
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    I do the same thing. As soon as I start seeing some results, the pizza delivery guy is at my door.

    I've realized that - as illogical as it sounds - I'm scared of succeeding. I've put soo much pressure on all the things in my life that will change when I'm no longer overweight, now I'm scared that what if my life isn't all roses when I'm at a healthy BMI. What if I'm still _________ (fill in the blank... single, lonely, unhappy, not as successful as I'd like to be, I don't get hit on when I go out, blah blah blah).

    It took some therapy to understand that's one of the reasons I self sabotage. How I overcome that way of thinking and get over the fear is something I'm still working on.

    There's no quick and easy answer to this one. But I think figuring out WHY you do it will go a long way! :)

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