Trying to make new friends? how?

I'll be your online friend! just go out and try to meet people - look for hobbie clubs, or sports clubs. Something that you're interested in. That's a good way to meet people.

I met new friends when I moved from Edinburgh down to Basingstoke, just by going to classes and trying out new things. It did take a while though, and I'd say that I only have a couple of friends tops here.

I shall also be your online friend if you like! I always have room for new folks!

I am in the same boat! I moved to NY for a year and when I moved back my friendships had disintegrated. I've been back in Arizona for FIVE years and there are only a couple of people I hang out with and it has even become complicated with them. I used to know EVERYONE! I keep trying to make new friends but it seems people are either set in their existing cliques and not open to it or they turn out to be nuts!

I am moving to Georgia (all alone, don't know anyone there) in August so I'd love to go there armed with some info on how to meet new people!

My first thoughts are to join a sport, ask bartenders at local restaurants and check meetup.com type websites for hang out opportunities. I'm interested to see other suggestions here! I'm atheist, but I might join a church for the community factor and charity opportunities.

I'd say the best way to make friends is to do what you like doing.

Let me expand on that, if you like going to the lake, start going a lot. The more often you go, the more often you will see other people that do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hi!" or since you are in England, "Hullo Guvenor!"

By doing what you like to do, you will meet people that share similar interests and develop friendships.

A lot of people are in the same boat you are in, all you can do is just reach out like you are, and you should have no problems making friends!!

Making new friends, and fitting in, as we become adults seems to be very difficult! As a kid is simple, you just say Hi, and boom you got new friends....not so simple in the adult world. There are to many variables with families, lifestyles, etc....

I have no problems being you online friend niether!! I love making new friends!!

Hey all,

This will make me sound like a sad loser saying I have no friends but the problem is we (me and my family) moved away suddenly a few years ago (see my blog for the full details) to a completely new area (250 miles away), we didn't know anyone at all here and I haven't been able to make any "friends" here, I don't even know where to start to be honest.

I'm now living in Dorset, UK if that makes any difference.


I lost contact with my old friends when we moved away, back where I used to live I had loads of friends who I knew since school (about 50-60, about ten really good mates), I was popular then but here I don't know anyone and I know it isn't good for me not being able to socialize how I used too,

I also don't have a job at the moment (due to my back problems) so can't really meet anyone that way, I am now actively looking for a job though.


Also, online friends, again, since I moved away and lost contact with all my old friends I don't have any "online" friends either, Any advice and tips would be more than welcome!

Thanks :embarassed:

You don't sound like a loser at all! I am pretty outgoing and I ran into the same issue when I moved to a new city. When you're in school it's easy to make friends - you're with them all day. It's the same thing with university, as you're living, eating, and going to classes with lots of different people around your age. It gets a lot more difficult once you're older, though.

Really all you need is one friend to start with. Then you meet their friends and hit it off with someone, who introduces you to their friends, and so on. The difficulty is meeting someone in the first place. It's tough, especially for someone with social anxieties, because all you can really do is just go out there. Take a class through a local college or studio (something like painting or ceramics, whatever sparks your interest), join a book club, check online for clubs and gatherings for people who have similar interests. You can join running clubs, political groups, whatever you can think of.

Finding a group of people who share a common interest makes it easier - you know you have something in common, and you already have something to talk about. It also helps that you will be meeting them in a neutral space with an activity to do, like painting or jogging, because that keeps you from feeling quite so awkward. It can still be really hard to start a conversation with someone, but you have to just take a deep breath and do it. Most people are nice and want to make friends as well, so don't be intimidated!

ETA: Also, I thought we were online friends?!

I am in the same situation. Except I moved 4 area's in 3years and have been living in a really rural area for 5 years now. Because we are so remote and i work 18 miles from home. i have work friends but no one to socialise with locally. I am quite shy so find making friends difficult.

I have worked very hard to maintain my friendships from home and still vist my friends down south or they come to me at least once a month. I speak on the phone with my girl friends on a weekly basis. Although this is great and i love them all dearly I sometimes find that I miss out on things occuring locally , where i would have chance to network and meet people locally,because I am visiting friends. So it's a bit of a double edged sword!

Really what i am trying to say is: You are not sad and making friends as an adult is infinitely harder than as a child, when you would just walk up to a child in the play ground and say "do you want to be my friend?"

I am happy to accept new online pals, although i have to say I am jealous that you are in Dorset as my home town is in Hampshire and i still feel homesick after being away for 9years!

You aren't a loser for wanting friends...I think its awesome that you had such a great community of friends in the first place! I have about 2 friends that I'd call really close, and don't really have any friends outside of them because here in Baltimore people usually stay to themselves and aren't friend-friendly unless it involves sex, clubbing, or booze. But I love meeting people that I can have good conversation with and just chill, even online. You can add me if you want. I'm sure many people on here are looking for friends.

Some great advice here, and, quite honestly, meeting people is hard work once you're no longer in school. I have a similar issue, as my work is fairly solitary. I seem to be making use of my kids' friends in school, and becoming friends with their parents! I do recommend meetups and other interest groups in your area. I just looked at the meetup site for Dorset, UK, and I see that most of the action closest to you happens in Bournemouth. There is an "adventurists" group that meets regularly and has quite a few people that meet up to hike places, and they are meeting on July 10th for some sort of excursion. Also, it looks like a bunch of Londoners are arriving in Dorset at 9am by train to have a relaxing walk along your coast on July18. Why not contact one of those groups as see what happens. There's also a Bournemouth Cinema group, but nothing scheduled in the near future. Or, start your own.

Some practical advice: Be curious. EVERYONE is nervous and awkward upon first meeting, its just in our nature. In your mind, try to develop the perspective that people are already your friend, and you are just trying to understand them better. Ask your new friend questions about themselves, their work, what they like, where they've been, and then ask follow up questions. Just get very curious. I was a social wreck until my mid-twenties, until I quit trying to impress people and starting being the friendly village idiot. "Oh, you're a accountant! Is that as boring as people say it is? or do you have a passion for it?" "Ah, so it is boring - so what do you do make the day interesting?" Listen. Few people actually know how to do this. Its gold.

Good luck and keep us posted!!!