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Conflict at home :(

jendiaz9732
jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
I need some advice :( Okay so, I recently moved in with my sister, right, she has three kids and is a single mom like me. Since I have moved in with her it has been very difficult to eat. Like everything I buy is gone by the third day. I love my sister and my nieces and nephews but my health is not how it was when I lived alone. What should I do? I want to help my sister but I need my health too, you know. And I make my income, that's not an issue, but it just feels like I keep buying food and don't get to eat hardly any of it. I don't know what to do.. Any ideas/suggestions?

Replies

  • jaqcan
    jaqcan Posts: 498 Member
    Cupboard and locking mini fridge in your room!
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    Have a talk with your sister. And If room allows, get your own small refrigerator.
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
    Designate space that is only for your food (you pay for it, you eat it).
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    Thank you for the quick responses :) I am going to talk with her.
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
    What they said. And if you buy healthy food, they will probably be less likely to eat it :)
    The locked fridge and cabinet is a good idea above too.
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    Man those kids will eat anything! I just feel that if I buy a locked fridge, it's going to make me look selfish. It's hard b/c she's my sister...
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    put all of your food in brown paperbags. If you don't see it, you won't covet it.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Respect - talk to your sister about respect.
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
    edited August 2015
    Buy a mini fridge (locked obviously lol) for work and hoard your work food there :) At least you'll be able to save that
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    So teach your niece and nephews what is what.
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    Lizzy622 wrote: »
    Respect - talk to your sister about respect.

    That is very true. I hear ya.
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    MsJulesRenee wrote: »
    Buy a mini fridge (locked obviously lol) for work and hoard your work food there :) At least you'll be able to save that

    That's good idea. Thank you!
  • noel2fit
    noel2fit Posts: 235 Member
    What about meal prepping? Prep your food in advance, put it in tupperware containers, and label them "Monday Lunch", "Tuesday Dinner", "Thursday Post-Workout Recovery Meal". Then put those in a bag that's NOT see-through, like a paper grocery bag, so no one will be tempted by seeing the food inside, and label it "Jendiaz9732's Meal Prep- Please DO NOT EAT" and put it in the back of the fridge on a bottom shelf. Doing the same thing and tossing the meals in the freezer adds another layer of difficulty to people grabbing your stuff.

    Talking to your sister is obviously the best route, but this might help after you talk to her. It worked wonders keeping roommates away from my food when I was in college. It's like the work fridge- people will steal an unlabeled yogurt, but almost no one will dig through someone else's labelled lunch bag. Just a thought! Good luck!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    Yeah I think locking stuff up would be douchey. Have a family meeting and talk about either splitting grocery bill or everyone respecting each other and dividing up cupboards. If you don't speak up, it's like giving permission. Especially in the eyes of kiddos.
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
    if the kids are enjoying the things that you buy, maybe they could go on your sister's shopping list as well, so there's enough for everyone. Or, if you do more shopping than she does, then maybe you can do some of hers when you shop, and split the cost appropriately.
  • ColinsMommaOC
    ColinsMommaOC Posts: 296 Member
    I really believe that you should talk to your sister. You can get a fridge and keep your food in there (not selfish at all since you are not restricting them from putting their food in the other fridge) but that is only a band aid. If you are going to live together then you need to communicate. Your sister might not be aware of just how much they are eating of yours. And if you let it continue to fester then you can start resenting and that is never healthy. Also, you can't blame the kids if they have not been given that boundary in the past. Kids get hungry and see food, they dont necessarily consider that it isn't something they should have.
    I have a "kids only" shelf in my fridge at home. My son is welcome to anything on it, my husband and I are not. When he used to take things off the other shelves without permission, we told him to stop. When that didn't work, we took something off his shelf and ate it in front of him. After a few times seeing how upset he got at us, he clued in and learned to respect the shelf boundary... I am not saying that's the best way to deal with it, but it worked for me.
  • klkarlen
    klkarlen Posts: 4,366 Member
    Sounds like whatever you are eating is appealing to your family, and that is a good thing, as you might be actually giving them a good example of healthier eating. Could you put what you want for yourself in a safe place, and leave the rest for the rest of the family.
    When my ex and his parents lived with me, I used to have to hide my food because my ex father in law had no respect for anyone, and just ate whatever he wanted. And he didn't contribute to the grocery fund nor did he ever do any shopping.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    I vote talking to your sister. She may not realize what her kids are doing, and they may not realize that it's food you bought for yourself, not something extra she bought. Talk to them first and see if you can work out something. Don't resort to a locked mini fridge in your room unless you've tried talking and working out first and it's completly failed.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I'm a fan of direct communication. Talk about splitting the grocery bill, dividing food up so everyone gets some, having your own fridge/cupboard, labeling your items and teaching the kids to ask before eating everything.
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    edited August 2015
    Thanks so much everyone for all your suggestions! It's been really affecting my pocket as well, I've been buying lunch for the past month.
    I am going to talk to her for sure today, maybe she can buy food for the kids and I could buy food for us; since she is really bad at eating, she doesn't care if she eats or not, which is very unfortunate, I really want to help her gain weight too. And the fridge idea would def be last resort, but at the same time they're a bit expensive for me, (I'm saving up for my 1st house, which is why I am staying w her :)) My co worker also suggested taking food to my friend's home who lives down the street from my job, and then just go eat over there on lunch break.
    I really like the idea on keeping a separate spot for the kids food, and labeling, because those boogers def know how to read, so I am going to implement that into our convo later!
    Thanks again you guys! You are all GREAT! If it's alright I would like to add you! I couldn't imagine not having such great support system like ya'll!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    They arent used to living with someone else so its no surprise whats your is theirs in one sense. Chat with your sis in the first instance and find a compromise. Rather than it being an issue id tend to keep the treats or snacking sort of food in your room and see how safe it is to leave tins and dried stuff out. Keep some reserves in a box under your bed, which is obvious they should respect. Talking might solve it all without the need to take further steps just see how it goes.
  • JustChristy79
    JustChristy79 Posts: 156 Member
    noel2fit wrote: »
    What about meal prepping? Prep your food in advance, put it in tupperware containers, and label them "Monday Lunch", "Tuesday Dinner"


    This!

  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    999tigger wrote: »
    They arent used to living with someone else so its no surprise whats your is theirs in one sense. Chat with your sis in the first instance and find a compromise. Rather than it being an issue id tend to keep the treats or snacking sort of food in your room and see how safe it is to leave tins and dried stuff out. Keep some reserves in a box under your bed, which is obvious they should respect. Talking might solve it all without the need to take further steps just see how it goes.

    Cool. I also share a room with her two girls and sleep on the couch :neutral: but I think I can have a certain cupboard for myself. Thanks!
  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
    The rule at my house is that if it has someone else's name on it, you can't have it. Occasionally I request a paper bag at the grocery store so I can put things that I want to eat in it, put my name on it, and put it in the refrigerator. (bags wear out so occasionally I have to get a new one)
  • jendiaz9732
    jendiaz9732 Posts: 285 Member
    2snakeswoman wrote: »
    The rule at my house is that if it has someone else's name on it, you can't have it. Occasionally I request a paper bag at the grocery store so I can put things that I want to eat in it, put my name on it, and put it in the refrigerator. (bags wear out so occasionally I have to get a new one)

    Love this rule! Thank you!!!
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