Depressed and Demotivated :(

sasasasa1
sasasasa1 Posts: 29 Member
edited November 22 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone.
So i've been a relatively long-time member of my fitnesspal...i come and go, went through a period of alot of weightloss and my lowest weight was about 130 (im 5'7, 21) and I loved it. Last year, around november, I was in the best shape of my life - i was 145, but I had alot of muscle and felt strong and I was nice and lean; still some fat, but it was not bad.

Anyway. The last few months, have been pretty rough. I havnt really worked out or kept track of anything, and then I fasted during Ramadan in June (30 days of pigging out at sundown basically) and then went on eid vacation at mid July (Alot of pigging out). I didn't think I was doing that bad until my clothes started fitting tight.

So today, at 1 am, i decided to weigh myself out of curiousity after avoiding it for months.
I'm the heaviest i've ever been in my life at 167 pounds.

I've been crying for an hour now and I feel aweful and gross, and I cant even get intimate with my SO anymore because of how bad ive been feeling lately - but I didn't think it was that bad.

I know i should get back into it, but dieting is just so hard for me and it really takes it toll on me (i have low thyroid and a slow metabolism so its extra hard) and im so depressed that all my hard work was so washed away so badly in just two months.

Replies

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Dunno really its only 20lbs, there are people that come on here with 200lbs to lose. A 1lb a week you can get bacck to your target within 5 months and the good thing you know how to do it.

    You cna sit there and cry plus be demotivated and start telling yourself how difficult its going to be and throw in a bit of beating yourself up, then accpet its going to be that way forever or you can learn from it, decide you wnat to do something and gradually get back to following a plan whicch enables you to lose weight one day at a time. Most likely the only person bothered is yourself and its up to you to do soemthing about it. Its done now, so feeling upset and crying does absolutely nothing for you.

    Its not that i cant empathise, its just I think you get more out of it by learning and doing soemthing about it.
  • oxreese
    oxreese Posts: 8 Member
    The truth is that I do feel your pain. I've never been in tip top shape but I never used to bother to watch what I would eat and exercise whenever I'd feel like it.
    I had a baby 6 months ago. I'm only 23 and going through that up and down with my weight was hard for me. I'm 5'6 and always weighed around 150... when I got pregnant I gained 55 lbs. Hard to swallow for me then. After the baby it was a while before I plateaued.
    I'm at 165 and it refuses to come off. I watch what I eat excercise.. drink tons of water.. I lost almost 3lbs and I just feel like I'm already over it bc it's already been gained back.
    I feel like it only comes down to will power. If you want to change it because your unhappy the only thing you can do is try. Just keep consistent dieting and CARDIO workouts. I realized I can't give up and have to stay motivated. because when I think about it and it upsets me I have to atleast keep trying. Best of luck to you. The struggle is real.
  • angeldreamer29
    angeldreamer29 Posts: 7 Member
    I think we've all been there at some point in our weightloss journeys and it is definatly not easy. But are you really going to let this get you down? Are you going to let this setback stop you from achieving what you want? NO! You are going to get back up and show life that you will NOT be pushed around. Don't think about dieting right now, think about eating healthy and exercising. Don't limit your calories for a couple weeks and just focus on eating the right things. You are strong and can come back from this.
  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
    Hey you've already taken the first step - which is coming back on here! It's hard as to get the weight off but you can do it :) Don't beat yourself up about it, just start implementing changes again and start with the exercise and you'll soon be back where you were! You can do it!!!
  • fatemaa
    fatemaa Posts: 7 Member
    I have being a member of mfp for last 5 years now and trust me every year I loose weight and then when I am finally happy with my weight I start to get lazy and soon before I know it, I gain it all back and some more. This year again as usual I am on my weight loss mission but this time I am focused on how I will maintain it in the long run. This time there is no 'dieting' only portion control and workout.
    Loosing weight is hard and it is harder when you gain it all back but the last thing you want to do is 'give up'. Keep working towards your goal one day at a time, you have done it before you can certainly do it again. Just make sure you keep weighing yourself every day, even after you reach your goal!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    You will be a lot more depressed if you dont do anything.

    At least if you pick yourself up, and keep going as best as you can you will meet your goal again one day!

    What used to keep you motivated? Here are some ideas I typically use.
    1 - Go shopping tomorrow and fill your fridge with nothing but healthy foods! I feel it is easy to get back on track when your fridge is full and ready to go!

    2 - Buy a new workout program, workout gear, renew your gym membership, get new weights - something fitness related. Even a new water bottle with a fancy filter!

    3 - Look at fitspo. Just google image the word and sometimes having a visualization helps.

    4 - Pre-track your meals for the next day, at least 12 hours in advanced. It makes the thinking/sudden binging or splurging out of the equation if you already have your meals planned for the day. Know what you are going to have 1st thing in the AM, the PM and supper.

    5 - Stay on the forums each day - spend some time on the site, read the success stories.

    MOST IMPORTANT

    6 - Reflect on what went wrong last time. Figure out how you will prevent it this time around. Do your research!

  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    sasasasa1 wrote: »
    I haven't really worked out or kept track of anything. I'm the heaviest i've ever been in my life at 167 pounds.

    Dieting is just so hard for me and it really takes it toll on me (i have low thyroid and a slow metabolism so its extra hard).

    I have Hashimoto's (autoimmune thyroid disease). I lost the weight (and have kept it off) by learning to log everything I eat & drink accurately & honestly. Logging works.

    I followed the advice in the Sexypants post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • cbond74
    cbond74 Posts: 71 Member
    You need to forget about the last 2 months and start over. It sucks but you got to do it. Take it day by day but don't give up. You need to find a workout you'll enjoy doing and a food plan that works for you. You also need to be able to treat yourself and not feel guilty about it but limit it to one meal. Not a full day, week or month etc. I too have hypothyroidism. It doesn't make things easy but its not impossible either. I have been at this for over 4 years now. I have stayed consistent with my working out. Where I tend to have issues is food. When I go off my food plan, that's when I gain. They say it's 70% diet and 30% working out and I believe it. Sucks cause I would rather workout more...lol. Fill your fridge and cupboards with healthy foods and you'll be less likely to cheat!
  • Happyme2009
    Happyme2009 Posts: 233 Member
    You must log. I was at my lowest last year,, 125 lbs or so, feeling strong and lean and muscular.
    I stopped exercising and logging for one year. I gained almost 25 lbs. feeling like a pig.
    I started logging and joined a gym less than a week ago , again. I a, already feeling better, and probably looking better , because of my attitude.
    Come back and stay back .
    Put things in perspective. No matter how far you feel, there are people fatter than you.
  • mercae5678
    mercae5678 Posts: 1 Member
    As someone with PCOS I absolutely understand how hard it is to lose weight. But with the right diet and exercise you can do it. You've proved to yourself that you can!! Keep going, you can do it! I don't think I would compare circumstances to anyone if I were you because that's not personally how I find motivation. But make myfitnesspal and meal preparation as well as fitness a daily routine. I've got my meal prep for a day down to 20 minutes and that's just because I wash the Tupperware I bring to work. You can do it!!
  • renbys
    renbys Posts: 4 Member
    edited August 2015
    This was so great to read just now.

    I was overweight most of my life. But about 6 years ago, I got down to a muscular 140lbs (which I was happy with, at 5'8"). Over the next couple of years (new job, new home, new marriage, etc.), I gained back about 10-15lbs, lost 5-10, but overall, though I complained, I still felt like "me."

    Enter pregnancy and baby. I gained 35-40lbs during my pregnancy (hard to track, because I was gaining weight without being aware I was pregnant, so no idea if it was pregnancy weight or what). After baby (June 2014), I weighed 172 lbs. Back to work, exhausted, a little PPD, last February was 179lbs.

    It has been SO DAMN HARD - and, honestly, even a few years back it was so hard to get back in the saddle, because of this sneaky little brain-worm: "You lost all the weight once, and then you gained it back anyway. Because you are a fat, lazy loser. You will always be one. Why even try not to be?"

    I've been working out and watching my calories since March. Slowly, so bloody slowly, I've gotten to 162 lbs. I am trying, every day, to find the joy in getting closer to my goal, and not focusing on how far I am from the goal I reached once before.

    I am coming to realize that I am not a naturally slim person, and will never be. It will NEVER be easy for me to lose weight and stay at a size I am truly happy with. This journey will NEVER be done. It will NEVER be easy, but it will also never not be worth it.

    Time will pass, and much of what happens is and will be out of my personal control . . . but, ultimately, every day, I do have a choice of whether I mourn what I won and subsequently lost, or look forward to what I can make of the future. I try very hard to remember that.


  • hel11b
    hel11b Posts: 12 Member
    I feel you I found a picture of myself at my best shape from when I did olympic style weightlifting and was extremely upset and disappointed in myself afterwards. It did motivate me to start exercising more.


    fitspirationx6l06958xdy9.jpg
  • mikestobbs1
    mikestobbs1 Posts: 294 Member
    You've been in shape beforeyou can do it again. Obsessing over what you did wrong will get you nowhere. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
  • Cahgetsfit
    Cahgetsfit Posts: 1,912 Member
    renbys wrote: »
    This was so great to read just now.

    I was overweight most of my life. But about 6 years ago, I got down to a muscular 140lbs (which I was happy with, at 5'8"). Over the next couple of years (new job, new home, new marriage, etc.), I gained back about 10-15lbs, lost 5-10, but overall, though I complained, I still felt like "me."

    Enter pregnancy and baby. I gained 35-40lbs during my pregnancy (hard to track, because I was gaining weight without being aware I was pregnant, so no idea if it was pregnancy weight or what). After baby (June 2014), I weighed 172 lbs. Back to work, exhausted, a little PPD, last February was 179lbs.

    It has been SO DAMN HARD - and, honestly, even a few years back it was so hard to get back in the saddle, because of this sneaky little brain-worm: "You lost all the weight once, and then you gained it back anyway. Because you are a fat, lazy loser. You will always be one. Why even try not to be?"

    I've been working out and watching my calories since March. Slowly, so bloody slowly, I've gotten to 162 lbs. I am trying, every day, to find the joy in getting closer to my goal, and not focusing on how far I am from the goal I reached once before.

    I am coming to realize that I am not a naturally slim person, and will never be. It will NEVER be easy for me to lose weight and stay at a size I am truly happy with. This journey will NEVER be done. It will NEVER be easy, but it will also never not be worth it.

    Time will pass, and much of what happens is and will be out of my personal control . . . but, ultimately, every day, I do have a choice of whether I mourn what I won and subsequently lost, or look forward to what I can make of the future. I try very hard to remember that.


    You - Me - similar story! hugs!
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