Why can't I do this??

Hi all, the short story is that I lost 4 stone a couple of years ago, then I went through a longish bout of feeling pretty down due to a few things happening. The result is that I've gained pretty much all of it back through binge eating. I know how to lose weight but I just can't seem to stick with it. Every night I think 'right, that's it' and then every morning I think that I just haven't got the energy to think about it, and so another day goes by. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel that something has clicked and just get on with it. I'm so sick of feeling rubbish and knowing that I have the power to do something about it, but don't because junk food seems to give me that sense of escape. I now understand why people can't quit smoking!!!
Would love any words of wisdom or indeed just a kick to sort this out x

Replies

  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    Same story, same problem, lost 45 pounds, was almost halfway to my goal and here I am starting over.

    I keep saying to myself, change won't happen if i don't make it happen. Sooooo, I'm making it happen. I'm also reminding myself that I'm aiming to be better, not aiming for perfection. Posting shows me you want to change. So start with steps that will move you forward and go from there. You know what to do. I know what to do. We just need to do it. Log, move, stay hydrated. You've got this.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,968 Member
    Lack of commitment. There's desire and then there's commitment. The mindset has to be one that it's NOT okay to break the commitment. You'll have off days, but if you're consistent, you'll succeed.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • karliebethell
    karliebethell Posts: 53 Member
    The short answer is "YOU CAN DO THIS". The longer more complicated answer is not as easy and cute. Many different things work for people. You have to find out what works for you. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I would do okay then I'd be like "Eff it" and eat a bag of chips, and some cookies, and a pop, etc. Then you feel like crap because you ate that crap, then you eat more crap, and the cycle goes on. What is working for me is looking at my relationship with food as an addiction. Plain and simple. So I started researching. Reading about nutrition and what it does to your body. What does proper nutrition look like, what amount of calories, protein, fats, etc do I need in a day. Once I was armed with the knowledge, I then cut out all the crap. Cold turkey. No cheat meals. You wouldn't give a recovering crack addict a day to enjoy all the crack he/she wanted would you?
    Control your eating habits, the quality of the food you eat, and I bet you'll get addicted to the energy you start getting back, the look of your skin after the toxins come out, the shiny hair, stronger finger nails, the balanced menstrual cycles (Yes diet can effect this). I found once I took control over what I was eating, the excess energy I felt needed an outlet. So I exercise. Funny how that works. lol So that's my two cents. I started at 364lbs and am down to 326lbs and counting. This may or may not work for you but it can't hurt to try.
  • AlciaMode
    AlciaMode Posts: 421 Member
    Start small. You do not need to go full 100% right away. Don't give up all junk give up some. Don't run a mile just park the car further out in the parking lot. This is not a quick fix, it is a lifestyle. Over time, when you start seeing results you will want to do better and better.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,968 Member
    Control your eating habits, the quality of the food you eat, and I bet you'll get addicted to the energy you start getting back, the look of your skin after the toxins come out, the shiny hair, stronger finger nails, the balanced menstrual cycles (Yes diet can effect this).
    Don't believe EVERYTHING you read in a magazine, article or blog online. While it's important to gain knowledge, lots of information out there is incorrect. There are no toxins in your skin. If there were, you don't sweat them out, you'd have to go and get immediate medical treatment. My point is many get deceived about what is really happening and spend hard earned dollars on pseudoscience that sound right, but have no scientific studies to actually back them.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    it happens and unfortunately weight loss is probably more difficult than quitting smoking considering the recidivism is something like 95%. You have to eat every day, and some times you can manage it better other times life just comes crashing in. I don't have a good answer I am always struggling, but you can do it! Shoot you have a life time to perfect it. Maybe we need to change the mind set that it should be easy and it has to be done perfectly? It's damn hard to lose weight and maintain it, but youre here youre asking questions it means it's on your mind. Don't feel guilty over the failures but feel like youre a friggin' super star when you succeed because at that moment you've succeeded where 95% have failed. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one minute at a time some days that battle is going to be waged in your head and it will feel like an eternity. You'll lose, but as long as youre breathing you can wake up the next day to fight.
  • karliebethell
    karliebethell Posts: 53 Member
    I didn't mean toxins in your skin directly. I meant the look of your skin after you've reduced the toxins you're consuming. I also never said anything about sweating out toxins.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    The short answer is "YOU CAN DO THIS". The longer more complicated answer is not as easy and cute. Many different things work for people. You have to find out what works for you. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I would do okay then I'd be like "Eff it" and eat a bag of chips, and some cookies, and a pop, etc. Then you feel like crap because you ate that crap, then you eat more crap, and the cycle goes on. What is working for me is looking at my relationship with food as an addiction. Plain and simple. So I started researching. Reading about nutrition and what it does to your body. What does proper nutrition look like, what amount of calories, protein, fats, etc do I need in a day. Once I was armed with the knowledge, I then cut out all the crap. Cold turkey. No cheat meals. You wouldn't give a recovering crack addict a day to enjoy all the crack he/she wanted would you?
    Control your eating habits, the quality of the food you eat, and I bet you'll get addicted to the energy you start getting back, the look of your skin after the toxins come out, the shiny hair, stronger finger nails, the balanced menstrual cycles (Yes diet can effect this). I found once I took control over what I was eating, the excess energy I felt needed an outlet. So I exercise. Funny how that works. lol So that's my two cents. I started at 364lbs and am down to 326lbs and counting. This may or may not work for you but it can't hurt to try.


    Wish this worked for me I'm a registered dietitian and I still struggle
  • mommyvudu
    mommyvudu Posts: 99 Member
    I have a history of binging. The only way I can avoid it is by honestly counting calories, eating when I'm hungry so I'm never ravenous, and avoiding my trigger foods ( chips, oreos). After a while I finally don't crave them.
  • snowy_sk
    snowy_sk Posts: 117 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Lack of commitment. There's desire and then there's commitment. The mindset has to be one that it's NOT okay to break the commitment. You'll have off days, but if you're consistent, you'll succeed.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    This is so true!
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    snowy_sk wrote: »
    I'm so sick of feeling rubbish and knowing that I have the power to do something about it, but don't because junk food seems to give me that sense of escape.

    Find something else that gives you that sense of escape.
  • tkphotogirl
    tkphotogirl Posts: 245 Member
    I was in a similar boat - after losing 60lbs, I gained 34lbs back during/after a period of illness & surgery, then stubbornly clung onto it for more than a year and a half, all the while making noises about how I needed to lose it.
    I knew I was just going through the motions so it didn't work. It clicked for me when I actually really started to listen to the things I was telling myself and the limitations I was putting on myself, and then I was able to shift from 'I really want to be able to do this' to 'I AM doing this'. Once the stubbornness got ignited it all clicked into place. Now I have the twin motivations of not wanting to go shopping (I hate it and I have plenty of perfectly good clothes waiting for me) and scaring the cr*p out of myself by committing to doing a Tough Mudder next year.

    You can definitely do this! Every day that you are doing something positive for YOU is a self-esteem builder.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    have you spoken to someone about the issues behind why you binge eat?
  • NoIdea101NoIdea
    NoIdea101NoIdea Posts: 659 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Lack of commitment. There's desire and then there's commitment. The mindset has to be one that it's NOT okay to break the commitment. You'll have off days, but if you're consistent, you'll succeed.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    I completely agree with this. I spent the first half of this year complaining and feeling really down about how fat I was, how I needed to lose the weight, how I have lost several stone before so this would be totally doable....yet I couldn't make it stick. Would do well for a couple of days, then suddenly lose control, think 'it will be OK, i'll start tomorrow', and would do well for a few hours and then always slip again.

    The 'turning point' for me was when I hit a certain weight; I sat in the bathroom crying and thought 'I will never be this big again!' It just....triggered something in me, and whilst the desire had always been there, this was the first time the commitment had been. I wish I could tell you there was something specific which will work for everyone which triggered me into it finally developing the commitment, but you need to find YOUR trigger.

    I'm a stone down, and it has taken a while, with plenty of slip ups, but I'm getting there! Hopefully you will find whatever it is you need to make that commitment :)
  • LaurenNotLaura
    LaurenNotLaura Posts: 64 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Don't believe EVERYTHING you read in a magazine, article or blog online. While it's important to gain knowledge, lots of information out there is incorrect. There are no toxins in your skin. If there were, you don't sweat them out, you'd have to go and get immediate medical treatment. My point is many get deceived about what is really happening and spend hard earned dollars on pseudoscience that sound right, but have no scientific studies to actually back them.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Yes, definitely do not believe everything you read, but I agree with her post as well. When you change from eating fast foods and processed foods to eating healthier, adding in the proper vitamins to your diet there will be a difference in these things. My skin has gotten brighter, my nails stronger, hair more shiny, and my energy has increased dramatically! I have also found (this is my personal experience only!) that I am better able to read and determine what my body actually wants or needs when a craving hits. MFP has helped with this too!
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    because you said you can't.

    say you can. start with small changes.
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    AlciaMode wrote: »
    Start small. You do not need to go full 100% right away. Don't give up all junk give up some. Don't run a mile just park the car further out in the parking lot. This is not a quick fix, it is a lifestyle. Over time, when you start seeing results you will want to do better and better.

    This is how I started. It's easier to tackle in small steps and to build from there. I'd also like to second that it's important to talk to someone about the binge eating and conditions that lead to you regaining. If eating is an emotional crutch for other issues, those really need to be addressed before you can make significant lasting change. (I say that as someone who totally uses food as an emotional crutch. I've been at it years, and I still slip up to this day. The real trick is understanding how to stop when it's happening, and reframe back to normal eating habits. It's tricky.)
  • karyabc
    karyabc Posts: 830 Member
    How about starting without overthinking about it, when I started it was a thursday night, I did not wait for a special day or special energy, I just started and figure out things in the way and when I wasn't sure about anything I came and hit the search option on mfp and def. The succes stories here help a lot.

    Yes you have lost weight and gain it back like so manyyyy of us, let that go, move on and focus on your now.
  • WellingTX
    WellingTX Posts: 617 Member
    Start small or just simply start and be kind to yourself if you do stumble. Success is rarely a straight line, there are going to be bumps in the road as you build healthy habits.

    For me, this is going to be a life long journey. I know I'm not alone when I say there were false starts and 5 months in there are still days where I get off track.

    Most importantly, listen to everyone's input but find what works for you. There is no single way, no one person who holds the key.