No Motivation No Time No Support

JuniperBreeze_xo
JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
edited November 22 in Motivation and Support
hi all. I am new here, but not new to dieting. I've tried several diets/workouts and nothing has worked for me. My weight has always been a problem and now I'm stressed more than ever.

I recently got married and was disgusted with how I looked. I'm 5'4" and pushing 200lbs. My husband tells that I look fine, but I am getting depressed with my looks.

Help please!! :(

Replies

  • hamptontom
    hamptontom Posts: 536 Member
    i can't help but think that you've come to the right place.
  • DawnEmbers
    DawnEmbers Posts: 2,451 Member
    I started at 211 lbs at the height of 4'11.5" so I know how you feel. Start small. I basically started with a "hmm, I should eat a little better" and "hmm I wonder if I can even walk 5k". Calories are the main factor in weight loss, so just start with that and then add a little more movement, start small and let the momentum build. Down over 65 lbs now and I still eat candy, chips and such on a regular basis, I just eat one serving instead of the whole box/bag instead.

    Find some people on here, an activity you like, join a group. There are many options available. Take it one step at a time.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    You can do with no support IF you're committed and prioritize time to do it. If not, then you shouldn't expect much.
    Make a specific reasonable plan (daily and weekly), follow it without fail, and be consistent.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • sherbear702
    sherbear702 Posts: 650 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    You can do with no support IF you're committed and prioritize time to do it. If not, then you shouldn't expect much.
    Make a specific reasonable plan (daily and weekly), follow it without fail, and be consistent.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    This. Also, I would strongly recommend reading the "most helpful posts" in the general diet and weight loss forum. TONS of good info if you're going to get serious about dropping some lbs
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    edited August 2015
    Change "No Motivation No Time No Support" to "No Excuses" and you cannot fail.

    There aren't many people who haven't struggled with having motivation, time, and support whether it's from friends, a spouse, family etc. But the people who are most successful at this are those who don't let that get in the way. If you read the success stories on MFP you'll notice the theme and learn about some of the extraordinary things people are able to do once they get their mind right and decide that failure is not an option.
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    Thank you everyone.
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    DawnEmbers wrote: »
    I started at 211 lbs at the height of 4'11.5" so I know how you feel. Start small. I basically started with a "hmm, I should eat a little better" and "hmm I wonder if I can even walk 5k". Calories are the main factor in weight loss, so just start with that and then add a little more movement, start small and let the momentum build. Down over 65 lbs now and I still eat candy, chips and such on a regular basis, I just eat one serving instead of the whole box/bag instead.

    Find some people on here, an activity you like, join a group. There are many options available. Take it one step at a time.

    This is really helpful. I will start small and work my way up. I guess I have to get it out of my head that loosing weight would happen quick.
  • Cocoa1020
    Cocoa1020 Posts: 197 Member
    i have similiar stats. I'm 209, 5'4 and 25 years old. lets do this!!!!
  • sweetcherae
    sweetcherae Posts: 66 Member
    Just remember that you are important. You deserve to be happy and healthy. No matter what anyone tells you what matters the most is how you feel. I always tell myself if you don't like something, change it! It's going to be hard at first but within time you will start to see results, and with those results your confidence will start to shine. Good luck! And remember you can do anything you put your mind to and to not give up :smile:
  • PaigeS65
    PaigeS65 Posts: 5 Member
    Please remind yourself that you are beautiful, but now it's time to get healthy. I agree with above post. Small changes. Start with increasing your water intake everyday. Buy your self some fun new water bottles, one to leave at work.. In a few days, make a dietary change, cut out soda, or that morning muffin. Whatever it may be, make a small change, one at a time. Before you know it, you are eating super healthy. Then start adding in exercise slowly. One day, tell yourself that right after work I will come home, change into work out clothes, have a healthy snack and then I will go on a 20 minute walk. No Excuses. If you don't feel safe walking, they have free DVDs at your local library, or free walking work outs if you have ON DEMAND. Tell your husband that you love that he loves you no matter what, but you need his support and encouragement to get healthy and stay healthy. I hope some of this helps. Pinterest has great pins too! Start a My Health board and a low calorie recipe board
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    Just remember that you are important. You deserve to be happy and healthy. No matter what anyone tells you what matters the most is how you feel. I always tell myself if you don't like something, change it! It's going to be hard at first but within time you will start to see results, and with those results your confidence will start to shine. Good luck! And remember you can do anything you put your mind to and to not give up :smile:

    Thank you. That means a lot
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    i bet if you posted your daily/weekly schedule people could find you the time to exercise.

    The motivation you need to figure out yourself, and to be honest, while some back patting is nice, you don't need 'support'. you can however find some nice pals on here for a little cheerleading!
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    PaigeS65 wrote: »
    Please remind yourself that you are beautiful, but now it's time to get healthy. I agree with above post. Small changes. Start with increasing your water intake everyday. Buy your self some fun new water bottles, one to leave at work.. In a few days, make a dietary change, cut out soda, or that morning muffin. Whatever it may be, make a small change, one at a time. Before you know it, you are eating super healthy. Then start adding in exercise slowly. One day, tell yourself that right after work I will come home, change into work out clothes, have a healthy snack and then I will go on a 20 minute walk. No Excuses. If you don't feel safe walking, they have free DVDs at your local library, or free walking work outs if you have ON DEMAND. Tell your husband that you love that he loves you no matter what, but you need his support and encouragement to get healthy and stay healthy. I hope some of this helps. Pinterest has great pins too! Start a My Health board and a low calorie recipe board

    Wow, I never thought of it that way. I did start drinking more water, soda was never an issue for me as I never really drink it. But the hardest part for me is eating three meals a day. I usually skip breakfast, may have a late or unhealthy lunch. And then a big dinner once I get home from work.
    I've tried asking for help with my husband and my family, and they just tell me to go to the gym or do some sit ups. While that might help, I need the support from my family instead of them telling me that I'm getting chunky. My husband doesn't really motivate anything because he sits at home and eat whatever he wants and never gains a pound. Where if I eat a piece of cake, I gain 5 pounds on my thighs.

    :(
  • JrChamberlain
    JrChamberlain Posts: 23 Member
    We are all here to help motivate ☺ I about the same size as you and am getting back on the wagon!! If you would like you can friend me and we can help desk other out!!
  • pkim320
    pkim320 Posts: 2 Member
    I am sort of in the same problem.. I use to be very active and now I am having issues with my diet, weight, and consistent workout routines. I wish to get back on track.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Create motivation, make time, you are the support!

    Eliminate excuses, set goals, and make progress.

    Set a goal higher than weight loss - what physical activity do you have a passion for? What can you do with your husband to reinforce good health?
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    funny how perspective is everything. Im 5'4" and 200 lbs and i feel awesome! however i lost 50 lbs so for me this is awesome!

    start loving yourself today. make time for yourself. its all in your attitude start there. if you have no time i believe you. then forget it stay at 200 lbs. end of story. but don't be upset about it. thats a decision. you can make a decision everyday to do this for yourself or not. but accept which it is.

  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    start small
    log everything you eat.
    you should be eating at a calorie deficit. and this will help you figure out what and how much to eat
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    moyer566 wrote: »
    start small
    log everything you eat.
    you should be eating at a calorie deficit. and this will help you figure out what and how much to eat

    I think that's my problem. I need to track what I eat more strictly and be realistic with the outcome.

    That's what I am hoping to achieve by joining here!

    Thanks!!
  • Nuke_64
    Nuke_64 Posts: 406 Member
    The easiest way I think to start is to just track what you eat. No goals at first, just track and try to do so by using a scale. You will start to learn and appreciate the impact of the food choices you make.
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    Nuke_64 wrote: »
    The easiest way I think to start is to just track what you eat. No goals at first, just track and try to do so by using a scale. You will start to learn and appreciate the impact of the food choices you make.

    I agree. I don't over eat, I just don't make the right decisions sometimes. I think I need to train myself to be conscious with what I decided to eat at that moment. Thanks for your help!
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Will....power
  • jaga13
    jaga13 Posts: 1,149 Member
    edited August 2015
    Nuke_64 wrote: »
    The easiest way I think to start is to just track what you eat. No goals at first, just track and try to do so by using a scale. You will start to learn and appreciate the impact of the food choices you make.

    I agree. I don't over eat, I just don't make the right decisions sometimes. I think I need to train myself to be conscious with what I decided to eat at that moment. Thanks for your help!

    If you are over weight, you do over eat. Once you start tracking your food, it will become obvious. Also, you need to calculate how much food is appropriate for your stats/activity level. For years I read magazines and assumed that when they said "eat 1600 calories, do these workouts, lose weight!" that it applied to me. Nope. At my height, it turns out I need to eat less than that. Take time to calculate the numbers...MFP will do it for you. Then stick to the number consistently. I'm not saying to eat junk all the time, but first and foremost, you simply need to eat less. Eating highly nutritious food will help you stay full on less calories, but don't be afraid to indulge a little. I pre-log all of my snacks and meals for the day (and edit if necessary). So today I pre-logged and ate a nutritious breakfast, lunch, and snack...and I have my healthy dinner pre-logged. But I also pre-logged some chocolate for a dessert. It is an appropriate amount and will still let me lose weight. Trust in this process.

    Another note, regarding your husband/support: this is all on you. You have to decide what and how much to eat, regardless of what he is doing. My husband is a foot taller than me and very lean and eats way more than me. I make it work. If he wants to order pizza, no problem. I pre-log 1 or 2 slices (depending on how many calories I can afford to use) and maybe some side salad.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    edited August 2015
    While outside support is nice, you can't count on it. You have to find your OWN reasons for doing so. My example: I knew I needed to lose weight. My doctor told me to lose weight. I even tried a time or two, but just couldn't muster the energy to do so. And then we got our wedding pictures back and I realized that I looked fat in them. About that time, I found MFP and decided I NEEDED to do this. That was my motivation, and it worked for me. When I felt like pigging out on food, I just reminded myself how I looked in my wedding picture. I know one girl that wanted to lose weight to have better sex. You have to find what keeps YOU going, not parrot what others have said. I'm also not someone that responds to the "You can do it!" speechs. I find them annoying and depressing. I mean, if I'm not feeling good and someone says that to me, I feel even worse about myself, so that doesn't work on me. If it works on you, by all means tape motivational pictures everywhere. But your reason and motivation still has to come from within.

    Anyways, what I did was start slow. I logged for a week or two without changes to see where my baseline was. Then, I changed one thing: instead of soda, I would drink unsweet tea with Equal. That alone cut out 200-300 calories a day for me. Once I got used to that, I changed something else. Every time I did, I gave myself time to get used to it before moving on. Eventually I was able to build myself a little momentum and could change more at a time, but if I had just jumped in, I never would have been able to keep going. I also didn't start with exercise. I learned that all I needed was a calorie deficit, which is totally possible without exercise. Now, I have started walking, and that does help other things, like my asthma, but your weight loss will happen in the kitchen, not at the gym. If the thought of starting an exercise program is daunting, then don't right away. Start with watching your intake, and slowly add exercise when you're able to. Thing is, you're not dieting, you're retraining yourself how to eat in a sense. You have to retrain your brain and body to accept smaller portions of things and shift a few things around so your diet is healthier. You want this to continue for the rest of your life, yeah? That means changing your eating habits so if you decide to stop calorie counting once you hit your goal, you won't gain it all back.

    You also can't expect your husband to join you. Lower your intake on your own, making sure to keep small portions of stuff you like so you don't feel like you're depriving yourself, but don't try to get him to join. If he asks why you're eating less, just say you're trying to watch your intake and leave it at that. If he wants to join in, he will. After all, you're doing this for yourself, not anyone else. You don't even have to tell people you're doing this if you don't want to. Just do your thing and let others do theirs.
  • JuniperBreeze_xo
    JuniperBreeze_xo Posts: 15 Member
    dubird wrote: »
    While outside support is nice, you can't count on it. You have to find your OWN reasons for doing so. My example: I knew I needed to lose weight. My doctor told me to lose weight. I even tried a time or two, but just couldn't muster the energy to do so. And then we got our wedding pictures back and I realized that I looked fat in them. About that time, I found MFP and decided I NEEDED to do this. That was my motivation, and it worked for me. When I felt like pigging out on food, I just reminded myself how I looked in my wedding picture. I know one girl that wanted to lose weight to have better sex. You have to find what keeps YOU going, not parrot what others have said. I'm also not someone that responds to the "You can do it!" speechs. I find them annoying and depressing. I mean, if I'm not feeling good and someone says that to me, I feel even worse about myself, so that doesn't work on me. If it works on you, by all means tape motivational pictures everywhere. But your reason and motivation still has to come from within.

    Anyways, what I did was start slow. I logged for a week or two without changes to see where my baseline was. Then, I changed one thing: instead of soda, I would drink unsweet tea with Equal. That alone cut out 200-300 calories a day for me. Once I got used to that, I changed something else. Every time I did, I gave myself time to get used to it before moving on. Eventually I was able to build myself a little momentum and could change more at a time, but if I had just jumped in, I never would have been able to keep going. I also didn't start with exercise. I learned that all I needed was a calorie deficit, which is totally possible without exercise. Now, I have started walking, and that does help other things, like my asthma, but your weight loss will happen in the kitchen, not at the gym. If the thought of starting an exercise program is daunting, then don't right away. Start with watching your intake, and slowly add exercise when you're able to. Thing is, you're not dieting, you're retraining yourself how to eat in a sense. You have to retrain your brain and body to accept smaller portions of things and shift a few things around so your diet is healthier. You want this to continue for the rest of your life, yeah? That means changing your eating habits so if you decide to stop calorie counting once you hit your goal, you won't gain it all back.

    You also can't expect your husband to join you. Lower your intake on your own, making sure to keep small portions of stuff you like so you don't feel like you're depriving yourself, but don't try to get him to join. If he asks why you're eating less, just say you're trying to watch your intake and leave it at that. If he wants to join in, he will. After all, you're doing this for yourself, not anyone else. You don't even have to tell people you're doing this if you don't want to. Just do your thing and let others do theirs.

    Wow. Thank you for that. I appreciate your input. And I will definitely try and push myself to get better at eating. Thank you!!
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    You're welcome. ^_^ I start feeling like a parrot for saying that over and over, but I see so many posts where people have 'lost their motivation' and 'can't seem to keep going', and when you ask what their motivation is, it's something generic or what the doctor said. That's not going to be enough to keep you going, and no amount of outside support will overcome that. Took me a long time to learn that lesson, but once I did, things got a lot easier for me in terms of keeping on my path. I screw up from time to time, everyone does, but I'm able to just log the day and start over the next and it makes life so much easier for me!
  • corasam
    corasam Posts: 12 Member
    I am 5'4" and started at 209lbs. I gave up for a while when I reached 199 lbs and started back up at the beginning of July. I am now 186 and still going down. I found that using MFP to count calories and carbs has done wonders to see what I am actually inhaling. I increased my water to 24-48 oz per day instead of 8-16 oz. I have also learned if I eat a little something every 3 hours, I don't get hungry and overdo it at dinner. I also don't have the cravings for the sweets late at night, as I indulge in a piece of fruit a couple hours after dinner. I walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes 3 times per week. I keep a steady pace, I don't overdo it and lose my breath while exercising. I am my own motivation because I am the one that cares enough to be in the right mindset to be successful this time.

    Take it one day at a time and find some little thing each day to keep going. Good luck on your journey and as you can see, you are not alone :-)


  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    A journey of a mile starts with the first step. Log what you eat. Then start preloading the log. If you know you're having chicken and rice for dinner look it up on MFP and see what portion size you can eat. Eat slowly so you don't wolf it down and feel like you should have another piece to be polite. Even log the desert. A bowl of ice cream can be a cup or a tablespoon.

    Your husband can eat what he wants and you can eat what you're committed to eating. I lost 25# in 3 months last year, and gained it back in 3 months when I stopped logging. Now I'm losing more slowly, and working on changing my eating habits, both content and portion size.
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