"i'll be happy when...."

leooftheyear
leooftheyear Posts: 429 Member
edited November 23 in Health and Weight Loss
This is one statement I used to use all the time "i'll be happy when i'm a size 18" or "i'll be happy when i can shop in normal stores vs the plus size stores". But honestly, one thing i have learned on my 5-10 year journey, is that i will never be happy once i reach those goals unless i am truley happy and comfortable with myself. By comfortable, i don't mean "ok i dont need to work at this anymore" i mean being comfortable with your body. This is one thing i have always struggled with, i set goals for myself then get frusterated and give up when i dont reach them quickly enough, instead of setting short term more reachable goals (e.g. i will walk around the block once every day this week vs i want to run a 5K by tomorrow).

I see so many people who are on this journey who are depriving themselves because they want to get to their goal as quickly as possible. This is a journey, you're going to fall off the wagon but the most important part is that you get back on and continue the journey not that you're there the fastest. One of the things that i like to do is look at old pictures of myself to see how far i have actually come.

I know I will evenually reach my goals, but that shouldn't be dependent on how i feel about myself. The better you feel about yourself the more you'll keep reaching your goals.

*end rant*

Replies

  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
    perhaps the language can change from "happy" to "satisfied". I will be happy now but satisfied when.. ;)
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
    I made peace with my body a few years ago. I still have those days when I look in the mirror and can see what I'd like to improve but I haven't hated myself physically for a long time, not even at my biggest.

    Now, it's about health and wellness, I've been mentally very unwell the last couple of years and this is me taking control of at least something, my weight was beginning to impact on my health and I was in a place where I could finally address it.

    So I'm happy now and I'll be happy whenever I get to goal, which isn't set thing yet, I'll hopefully know when I get there!
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I will not be happy/pleased/satisfied with my body at any point, ever. This is something I am coming to terms with. I will eventually accept it, when I'm done losing all this weight, but I'll never be glad about it.

    I can still be happy, just not with that. Best I'll do is, "Well, this is the best it can be." So, I do my best and I live with it. I so hate this saying, but "It is what it is."

    I'll settle for healthy, anyway! :)
  • derekspiewak
    derekspiewak Posts: 31 Member
    I made peace with my body. I was satisfied that I was doing the best that I could.

    That's how I got fat.
  • jackjackattck
    jackjackattck Posts: 117 Member
    edited August 2015
    I agree with you OP, my final goal is just to be happy and comfortable with my body! I have set myself weight and body fat goals that are somewhat arbitrary in the past based on celebrity bodies that I idolize (Jennifer Lawrence for example). However, I know those numbers are just on paper and mean absolutely nothing in terms of my body or weight loss journey. I would find myself feeling let down if I did not meet my weekly weight loss goal, even though I had much more energy and saw a difference in the way my clothes fit.

    My goal has slowly morphed into a less quantitative one - just to be at the point I am comfortable in my own body. Comfortable shopping, wearing dresses and shorts, going to the beach in a bikini. I can't quite tell you what weight or body fat percentage I will achieve that goal, but I feel that it is a much more reasonable goal than saying I need to lose X amount of pounds in X amount of days. Because really, who are we doing this for? I am not losing weight to satisfy society, my doctor (because I am only 5 lbs overweight and all my numbers are very healthy) or even my family or friends. I am losing weight to satisfy myself, and find my own personal happiness in who I am. So it is honestly hard to say "I will be happy when ...", because I will be happy when I am happy with my body.. but that is not a defined moment anymore.=]
  • leooftheyear
    leooftheyear Posts: 429 Member
    jackjackattck wrote: »
    I agree with you OP, my final goal is just to be happy and comfortable with my body! I have set myself weight and body fat goals that are somewhat arbitrary in the past based on celebrity bodies that I idolize (Jennifer Lawrence for example). However, I know those numbers are just on paper and mean absolutely nothing in terms of my body or weight loss journey. I would find myself feeling let down if I did not meet my weekly weight loss goal, even though I had much more energy and saw a difference in the way my clothes fit.

    My goal has slowly morphed into a less quantitative one - just to be at the point I am comfortable in my own body. Comfortable shopping, wearing dresses and shorts, going to the beach in a bikini. I can't quite tell you what weight or body fat percentage I will achieve that goal, but I feel that it is a much more reasonable goal than saying I need to lose X amount of pounds in X amount of days. Because really, who are we doing this for? I am not losing weight to satisfy society, my doctor (because I am only 5 lbs overweight and all my numbers are very healthy) or even my family or friends. I am losing weight to satisfy myself, and find my own personal happiness in who I am. So it is honestly hard to say "I will be happy when ...", because I will be happy when I am happy with my body.. but that is not a defined moment anymore.=]

    This is exactly the point of my post. I have told myself i will be happy when i reach 150lbs, but honestly i am happier and healthier now that i am looking at the big picture and my goals are becoming less quantative!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    The problem is focusing on the body. People get too hung up with trying to reach some ideal mental image of what they think is 'perfect' or what will make them happy. There is no perfection, and a person can go crazy trying to find the body that will make them happy if they don't find the whole self that makes them happy. There's so much more to life than a physical body. Flipping through the pages of magazines, we see what we think might be perfection, but those women have to be photoshopped to look that way - so obviously they aren't perfect, either, are they? I'm a size 1 and 123 pounds, and I still have cellulite at the tops of my thighs and on my butt. That doesn't bother me in the least, because I don't think that makes me imperfect. Everyone has some cellulite. I have stretch marks too, and scars. They are all part of my physical body because of the life I've lived. It doesn't define me that I have these things.
    The truth of happiness is who I am as a person, the successes and growth I have in my life. The people in my life, the relationships with those people, and how I feel about myself at the end of every day.
    Don't let how you feel about your body be the end all-be all of how you feel about yourself.
  • marcelo_templario
    marcelo_templario Posts: 653 Member
    You're right and I understand it, totally, nowadays people gets shallow pretending to be cool or superior but absentmindedly faking they are not hollow and unhappy for being not cool not superior and very shallow.

    I'd love to look like that guys from the magazines, like Lazar Angelov of Michael Phelps...hell yeah, but I am not them, I work in an office doing software stuffs, I got tired and have bad days, I am ok with being thin...even sport celebrities get overweight! So when it comes the time for let's say...Christmas I will eat some food that is considered unhealthy, nobody pays me for not to, as contrary of sport personalities.

    Also, body is a personality feature, as people surrounding you listen to you they'll know how cool you are for what you have accomplished so far.

    I am happy like this, but a big part of that is because now I KNOW how to lost weight, how to train, what to do and what not to do, I can set goals, knowledge is important too.
  • Domicinator
    Domicinator Posts: 261 Member
    I have no illusions that I'm going to look like an Olympic athlete. I will be "done" when I'm in the 170s. And I will be overjoyed to be adding some more calories back into my diet and start maintaining instead of losing. Right now I'm happy that I'm no longer 250 lbs.

    There are so many little things to be happy along the way. There are rough times too, but I've found that my general outlook on life is so much better when I know I'm actively losing weight and seeing results in my appearance. I haven't been under 200 lbs since junior high!!! That's something to seriously celebrate!
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    Seems alot like golf. I'll be happy when a break 100, 90, 85,80, 75... I'll be happy back at my "fighting weight" of 180 like when I got out of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children in 1977. BMI would still have me "overweight". Only 31 pounds to go.
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