Skinny people since birth preaching me on how to lose weight

We all know someone in our lives that has always been skinny since birth and could eat a whole chocolate cake and not gain a pound while I, just looking at the cake, would make me add 10 pounds.

Now, when those people try to preach you on how to lose weight when you never asked for it, it's very condescending and furthermore, ridiculous; what do they know about being fat and losing weight? They throw a lot of outrageous solutions that, to them, seem super easy to lose weight, which isn't.

For example, my "demon on my shoulder" likes to shove salad recipies down my throat thinking that if I eat like a rabbit, i'll lose weight fast. Sorry, but i'm not eating salad every meal! I'll never be able to get full enough and last throughout my day with salad; I'll be missing out on good carbs and proteins, plus some salad dressings hold more fat and calories than a bigmac. When I give that person my FACTS about salads, they get mad claiming I accept their " weight loss methods " that i never asked for. It's easy for them to eat salads all day when they have a tiny bird's appetite.

Adding insult to injury, that person sometimes like to put their hand on my belly and telling me " you should watch what you're eating, you never had belly fat before " - which is incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and hurts like a thousand daggers. When I try to confront that person about how their action and words hurt me, they lash out at me like I'm the problem.

Do you have the same problem that I have? People like this only makes me want to eat a bigmac.

Replies

  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    First, you have no idea of what goes on behind the scenes of a person is seems to be "naturally" thin. Second, you might choose to disassociate with people who annoy you.
  • findoutntry
    findoutntry Posts: 3 Member
    So I would have to agree with Sherry a little bit I naturally skinny person may have been naturally skinny as a child but once they reach adulthood they're not naturally skinny anymore. Rather than ask them about salads and look at what they eat when they eat and how they eat it a lot of people will go get McDonald's but they'll never finished what's on their plate and maybe they only go to McDonald's once a week. But honestly we don't know what we can do it's really focus on ourselves each person has a different metabolism. At one time I was that naturally skinny person but it didn't last for long once I had children and grew into my woman body this all changed. I have noticed a huge difference in my eating habits though I've been thinking a lot about this back in the day I was always on the go running from here to there I really never thought about what I was eating or when I was eating sometimes I would eat and sometimes I want to it would just depend on what was going on during the day I wasn't focused on three meals a day or anything else of course I would eat in the morning I have a bowl of cereal and run out the door when I need again until lunch will even think about it, at lunch I might only have had a sandwich again maybe something to drink and then I was on my way if I was hungry between lunch and dinner I might eat a plan or an apple and I want to eat anything else until dinner again and I might even have something like spinach burritos or taco salad always homemade we never had enough money to eat out. I also at that time hated pasta and bread I just did I didn't like it and I never ate it I was also very active I exercise every day rode my bike for at least a couple miles and now that this is not the way of my life I am no longer a natural skinny person I hope this helps a little. Also try not to look to others for your own happiness when we expect other people to make us feel good or pump us up we're always let down i'm sure that besides weight and everything else you're a wonderful person and that's really what you should be working on being the person that you want to be when you're happy your body shows it do things that make you happy and eat the way that makes you happy I don't eat because you're not happy eat clean unprocessed Foods I think the worst thing we can do is reach for something that's made out of a box has a lot of chemicals in it your body doesn't know what to do with when your body doesn't know what to do with something at stores it is fat now I learned all this and I'm trying really hard to apply it to my own life but it is working but I will guarantee you that if you don't get some kind of cardio every single day for at least 30 minutes and get your heart pumping you will not lose any weight you have to really work at it make sure you're having more calories going out and you are consuming and a day that's probably the hardest part of all stay away from sugar body doesn't know what to do with sugar and it turns into fat instantly also remember it's going to take about eight months to lose 20 pounds it takes a while give yourself time don't cut yourself down when you don't follow your meal plan for the day and just do the best you can every good decision is one step closer I wish you luck just as I wish myself luck this is hard to do :)
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    It might be best not to talk about your weight loss or about food with this person.
  • oh_happy_day
    oh_happy_day Posts: 1,137 Member
    We all know someone in our lives that has always been skinny since birth and could eat a whole chocolate cake and not gain a pound while I, just looking at the cake, would make me add 10 pounds.

    Now, when those people try to preach you on how to lose weight when you never asked for it, it's very condescending and furthermore, ridiculous; what do they know about being fat and losing weight? They throw a lot of outrageous solutions that, to them, seem super easy to lose weight, which isn't.

    For example, my "demon on my shoulder" likes to shove salad recipies down my throat thinking that if I eat like a rabbit, i'll lose weight fast. Sorry, but i'm not eating salad every meal! I'll never be able to get full enough and last throughout my day with salad; I'll be missing out on good carbs and proteins, plus some salad dressings hold more fat and calories than a bigmac. When I give that person my FACTS about salads, they get mad claiming I accept their " weight loss methods " that i never asked for. It's easy for them to eat salads all day when they have a tiny bird's appetite.

    Adding insult to injury, that person sometimes like to put their hand on my belly and telling me " you should watch what you're eating, you never had belly fat before " - which is incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and hurts like a thousand daggers. When I try to confront that person about how their action and words hurt me, they lash out at me like I'm the problem.

    Do you have the same problem that I have? People like this only makes me want to eat a bigmac.

    Oh that person would be getting their hand slapped away. No touchy!

    To answer your question, no I don't have this problem. However, I rarely discuss the 'how to' aspects of weight loss with people outside of MFP. I wouldn't talk to this person about weight loss or food. If they brought it up, I'd change the subject and/or walk away. I don't care for unsolicited advice.

    (Don't diss salad though - my salads have plenty of lean proteins, healthy fats and carbs.)
  • LadyLots2Lose
    LadyLots2Lose Posts: 110 Member
    I agree that the naturally skinny people have no business telling anyone about how to lose weight unless they're a professional (dietitian) and you're their client. I've received unsolicited advice and rude insulting attitudes from a few very insensitive people (fat and skinny) so I know how much that hurts. The best solution I can think of is cutting these people out of your immediate circle of influence (friends, family, close work colleagues). If that's not possible because the person is your spouse or someone you live with then you'll just have to tell them how their words/actions affect you. Unless they're really mean spirited there'll be a change.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Skinny people suck.

    Wait, who are we mad at right now?

    People who touch ppl suck.

    People who remain the same since birth suck.

    Aw screw it


    EVERYONE SUCKSSSSS!!!
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    So I would have to agree with Sherry a little bit I naturally skinny person may have been naturally skinny as a child but once they reach adulthood they're not naturally skinny anymore. Rather than ask them about salads and look at what they eat when they eat and how they eat it a lot of people will go get McDonald's but they'll never finished what's on their plate and maybe they only go to McDonald's once a week. But honestly we don't know what we can do it's really focus on ourselves each person has a different metabolism. At one time I was that naturally skinny person but it didn't last for long once I had children and grew into my woman body this all changed. I have noticed a huge difference in my eating habits though I've been thinking a lot about this back in the day I was always on the go running from here to there I really never thought about what I was eating or when I was eating sometimes I would eat and sometimes I want to it would just depend on what was going on during the day I wasn't focused on three meals a day or anything else of course I would eat in the morning I have a bowl of cereal and run out the door when I need again until lunch will even think about it, at lunch I might only have had a sandwich again maybe something to drink and then I was on my way if I was hungry between lunch and dinner I might eat a plan or an apple and I want to eat anything else until dinner again and I might even have something like spinach burritos or taco salad always homemade we never had enough money to eat out. I also at that time hated pasta and bread I just did I didn't like it and I never ate it I was also very active I exercise every day rode my bike for at least a couple miles and now that this is not the way of my life I am no longer a natural skinny person I hope this helps a little. Also try not to look to others for your own happiness when we expect other people to make us feel good or pump us up we're always let down i'm sure that besides weight and everything else you're a wonderful person and that's really what you should be working on being the person that you want to be when you're happy your body shows it do things that make you happy and eat the way that makes you happy I don't eat because you're not happy eat clean unprocessed Foods I think the worst thing we can do is reach for something that's made out of a box has a lot of chemicals in it your body doesn't know what to do with when your body doesn't know what to do with something at stores it is fat now I learned all this and I'm trying really hard to apply it to my own life but it is working but I will guarantee you that if you don't get some kind of cardio every single day for at least 30 minutes and get your heart pumping you will not lose any weight you have to really work at it make sure you're having more calories going out and you are consuming and a day that's probably the hardest part of all stay away from sugar body doesn't know what to do with sugar and it turns into fat instantly also remember it's going to take about eight months to lose 20 pounds it takes a while give yourself time don't cut yourself down when you don't follow your meal plan for the day and just do the best you can every good decision is one step closer I wish you luck just as I wish myself luck this is hard to do :)

    Holy run on sentance!!

    Ok, now that I have that out of my system. This poster has some good suggestions.

    Try to limit the processed foods.

    Get exercise.

    If someone has the balls to touch your belly, smile and say "please don't touch me".

    If they insist on giving you diet advice, just nod....then do your thing. Salad recipes? Invent an intolerance to a major ingredient. My favorite excuse is "my body has trouble processing X".

    My coworkers tease me about my eating habits...but they are picking some of them up. My 300lbs coworker recently decided to stop drinking pop. She then realized that the bottled lemonade she was drinking was tons of sugar, and found a different beverage.



  • flrancho
    flrancho Posts: 271 Member
    Not the same, but there's two of us at work (including myself) that are trying to loose weight. She's more overweight than I am, and probably ever was. I've lost over 100 lbs, most with MFP. The other lady hasn't lost any yet, but has claimed to loose a lot when she went to some center that gave her diet pills, counciled her, and stuck her on a diet that elimated food groups. She claims she lost weight really fast. Its taken me about 14 months to loose the 100.

    Two other co-workers that are near our desks want to loose weight too. Over discussing foods, diets, and what we've each done, the two other co-workers have decided to believe the other co worker and go on the diet pills and restrictive diet, rather than watching what you eat, how much you eat, and getting exercise. Makes me want to bang my head on my desk. Oh well, they're weight loss will never last.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    We all know someone in our lives that has always been skinny since birth and could eat a whole chocolate cake and not gain a pound while I, just looking at the cake, would make me add 10 pounds.

    Now, when those people try to preach you on how to lose weight when you never asked for it, it's very condescending and furthermore, ridiculous; what do they know about being fat and losing weight? They throw a lot of outrageous solutions that, to them, seem super easy to lose weight, which isn't.

    For example, my "demon on my shoulder" likes to shove salad recipies down my throat thinking that if I eat like a rabbit, i'll lose weight fast. Sorry, but i'm not eating salad every meal! I'll never be able to get full enough and last throughout my day with salad; I'll be missing out on good carbs and proteins, plus some salad dressings hold more fat and calories than a bigmac. When I give that person my FACTS about salads, they get mad claiming I accept their " weight loss methods " that i never asked for. It's easy for them to eat salads all day when they have a tiny bird's appetite.

    Adding insult to injury, that person sometimes like to put their hand on my belly and telling me " you should watch what you're eating, you never had belly fat before " - which is incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and hurts like a thousand daggers. When I try to confront that person about how their action and words hurt me, they lash out at me like I'm the problem.

    Do you have the same problem that I have? People like this only makes me want to eat a bigmac.

    Actually, I kind of not understand the opposite: very obese people giving each other advice on how to become thin. The thin person you know, knows how to be thin and stay thin, has habits that result in being thin. There no magical genes for thin-ness and there are no naturally thin or naturally fat people. If two people do the same things and eat the same things in the same amounts, they end up in similar weight.
    So, in your case, he/she burns more calories than you or eats less calories than you or both. Following the same lifestyle as this person, would result in similar weight. So it sounds counter productive to not listen to how he/she achieved to be where you are trying to get.
    Now, if the person is rude, I get it and there is no reason to tolerate anyone rude in your life. There is a huge difference between someone trying to help and someone bullying you or making fun of you. Just make sure he/she is the one being rude, giving advice you never asked for and it is not you complaining, and then getting upset because you wanted only to vent, while this person is offering advice instead.
    You know the situation, you can judge if this person has your best interest in mind and is trying to help, or is just being annoying.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    flrancho wrote: »
    Not the same, but there's two of us at work (including myself) that are trying to loose weight. She's more overweight than I am, and probably ever was. I've lost over 100 lbs, most with MFP. The other lady hasn't lost any yet, but has claimed to loose a lot when she went to some center that gave her diet pills, counciled her, and stuck her on a diet that elimated food groups. She claims she lost weight really fast. Its taken me about 14 months to loose the 100.

    Two other co-workers that are near our desks want to loose weight too. Over discussing foods, diets, and what we've each done, the two other co-workers have decided to believe the other co worker and go on the diet pills and restrictive diet, rather than watching what you eat, how much you eat, and getting exercise. Makes me want to bang my head on my desk. Oh well, they're weight loss will never last.

    Lose weight fast, gain it back faster?

  • tabl_23
    tabl_23 Posts: 46 Member
    We all know someone in our lives that has always been skinny since birth and could eat a whole chocolate cake and not gain a pound while I, just looking at the cake, would make me add 10 pounds.

    Now, when those people try to preach you on how to lose weight when you never asked for it, it's very condescending and furthermore, ridiculous; what do they know about being fat and losing weight? They throw a lot of outrageous solutions that, to them, seem super easy to lose weight, which isn't.

    For example, my "demon on my shoulder" likes to shove salad recipies down my throat thinking that if I eat like a rabbit, i'll lose weight fast. Sorry, but i'm not eating salad every meal! I'll never be able to get full enough and last throughout my day with salad; I'll be missing out on good carbs and proteins, plus some salad dressings hold more fat and calories than a bigmac. When I give that person my FACTS about salads, they get mad claiming I accept their " weight loss methods " that i never asked for. It's easy for them to eat salads all day when they have a tiny bird's appetite.

    Adding insult to injury, that person sometimes like to put their hand on my belly and telling me " you should watch what you're eating, you never had belly fat before " - which is incredibly insensitive, disrespectful and hurts like a thousand daggers. When I try to confront that person about how their action and words hurt me, they lash out at me like I'm the problem.

    Do you have the same problem that I have? People like this only makes me want to eat a bigmac.

    Yep....I have a similar friend (although she isn't mean to me about weight loss) she has always been super thin. She post pictures of bags and bags of candy that she ate for breakfast/lunch....yet she never gains anything! When she hears me talking about my weight loss journey she will make comments like "you need to excercise every morning like me. I do 30 sit ups and 30 jumping Jacks every morning." Like that is what is helping her stay thin?!?!! I finally told her "I wish that did it for me!! I do cardio and strength training 6 days a week. At least an hour every day." She seemed really confused....guess she didn't think I worked out.
  • sheermomentum
    sheermomentum Posts: 827 Member
    Well, we all have people who piss us off from time to time. If you can't avoid these people, (and I'm guessing if this is someone you've known all you life, then she's family), then at least just speak to her with firmness but without being defensive or angry. Like "The problem with that salad recipe is blah blah blah blah, but instead I like to have blah blah blah blah because." And the other person? Don't let him/her touch you. Period. I don't care if its your grandmother. Remove the hand gently or not, depending on who it is, and just tell them to please not do that. Or step back and walk away.
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    Some of my favorite meals are salads.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    well.
    1.) if people annoy you- disassociate with them.
    2.) losing weight isn't that difficult unless you've got some actual medical situation- don't side step this issue.
    3.) don't eat your emotions- turn them to something more productive.

    Also- don't let someone gaslight you- if they are giving you a hard time inappropriately- then say so- and let them lash at you- they are being overly defensive b/c you're right.

    just say-thank you but- your opinion wasn't asked for or warranted- thanks have a nice day and walk away. Don't engage with that type of behavior.
  • Pandora_and_her_box
    Pandora_and_her_box Posts: 240 Member
    We all know at least of those people. Frustrating, but being skinny and being healthy are two different things!

    The person in question is probably only trying to help you - albeit very misguidedly. I have friends who like to preach to me in other ways and about other things (I'm quite happy finding my own way, thanks!), which I find irritating, but I keep in mind they're trying to be helpful - and probably making themselves feel a bit better by imparting their 'wisdom', so I smile and nod and take zero notice of what they tell me.

    If you think there is another agenda other than trying to help behind their 'advice', then either stop being friends with them, or distance yourself from them, or just keep in mind that despite being skinny, they're not all that happy with themselves to be trying to patronise you.
  • Pandora_and_her_box
    Pandora_and_her_box Posts: 240 Member
    flrancho wrote: »
    Not the same, but there's two of us at work (including myself) that are trying to loose weight. She's more overweight than I am, and probably ever was. I've lost over 100 lbs, most with MFP. The other lady hasn't lost any yet, but has claimed to loose a lot when she went to some center that gave her diet pills, counciled her, and stuck her on a diet that elimated food groups. She claims she lost weight really fast. Its taken me about 14 months to loose the 100.

    Two other co-workers that are near our desks want to loose weight too. Over discussing foods, diets, and what we've each done, the two other co-workers have decided to believe the other co worker and go on the diet pills and restrictive diet, rather than watching what you eat, how much you eat, and getting exercise. Makes me want to bang my head on my desk. Oh well, they're weight loss will never last.

    Sadly, people would rather take the magic pill than go the old fashioned route of sustained hard work! Tortoise and the hare...only in this case, the hare not only falls asleep but ends up somewhere beyond the start line!
  • kmajor2015
    kmajor2015 Posts: 23 Member
    First, you have no idea of what goes on behind the scenes of a person is seems to be "naturally" thin. Second, you might choose to disassociate with people who annoy you.

    Maybe she's known this person awhile? Seems so to me.

    Also it's interesting how you focus on that instead of how this person (likely a coworker or a family member) invaded OP's space and not only commented rudely about her stomach fat, but also invaded her space and touched her.

  • flamingblades
    flamingblades Posts: 311 Member
    If he/she tries to pat your tummy again and say your tummy is getting bigger, just tell him/her " Kind of like your mouth" and to mind their own business, if they can't be supportive.