Giving this a try again.

First of all - I'm Eleanor but you can call me Ella. I'm 26, 5'3 and weigh 210.

Secondly - to be honest, I tried this a little over a year ago as an app when I had my tablet. I thought it was a great thing to try but I had absolutely no motivation and just didn't want to do it because I don't have the energy. I'm glad to see I can track my journey online from the computer until I get another device for the app. I love eating and have a huge appetite for it, but I'm also not active which has caused me to gain a lot. I've only been involved in dance and eventually I told myself I was too fat to be doing that, so I stopped. I don't like going anywhere so I'm usually at home. I wanted to get a bike for around town on our bike trail or a treadmill but those are too expensive, and I don't want to go to a gym or go for walks because I hate being around people. I tried a workout DVD my sister got me as well as a weight loss journal with my goals and whatnot but even that became too much work, so I stopped and gained a ton more weight this year! I gained 20 pounds since I started the workout DVD and my weight loss journal in November or December of last year. I was in the 180's then. After a year, and mostly these last few months of people with a few of them being people in my family as well as my doctor, constantly asking me if I was pregnant all because of how much weight I've gained, I've decided to give this another try. I hope it works for me this time. It's not a compliment when you're fat and everyone keeps asking you if you're pregnant or when your baby is due, especially when it's from people in your family asking you that when they know better, or even when your doctor tries to get you tested for being pregnant when you know you're not, it just makes me want to eat MORE. I also find it hurtful that ever since last summer my nieces (one in particular) has been calling me big and fat, and my sister tells me that her kid says that to her all the time as well and to not worry about it, but it still hurts me because I'm close to her kids and we're always spending time together when they're visiting. I hate it that they see me that way, and the fact that they keep calling me that just really makes me not want to eat in front of them when they're around. It makes eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner together awkward for me. It's hard being depressed and fat. You really wanna do it and then you just stop and feel like you can't. I hope that's different this time. I'm really hoping to lose a hundred pounds. I was also diagnosed with Juvenile/Type 1 diabetes when I was 5 (my dad was as well) and it makes eating and losing weight and managing the diabetes difficult when my blood sugars are all over the place. I feel like my diabetes is making it harder for me to focus on and trying to lose weight. Maybe this time losing weight will work out for me, I really need it to!

For everyone else, I wish you all the best on your success and motivation in your journey! Feel free to message me anytime. :]