Rock Bottom and seeking advice

Hi there, feeling for you just now

Well done on a good start but the answers are all in your post. You know yourself that you went out and didn't burn calories.
The hard bit is motivation. There's no catch all answer but try the following:
1. Tell your friends that you want to lose weight over and consistent and steady period. Most will be supportive but ignore the ones who aren't, even if they are your family. Family are the worst because they think they know you.
2. Read the success stories here and elsewhere.
3. Watch shows like the Biggest Loser. I hate schmazly tv, but I would dare anybody who was fat like me not to recognise elements of their own personality in the contestants.
4. Log EVERYTHING. Even if you have something great like celery, log it as it will inspire you later. Also, of course, log the Twix bars and Kit Kats. I once ate 9 Kit Kats in one day.

We all know the science stuff, consume fewer calories than you expend. Nobody will get a Nobel Prize for that. However it's the motivation which you need to work on.

"If it is to be, it is up to me."

The last two weeks happened. You can't change it. You can start again today by logging and getting back in to the right mindset.

A small consolation, but both the big initial loss, and the big gain were probably both mostly water weight. So you are still where you started, not any worse off.

When I'm not feeling any self control, the most critical step for me is to log everything. It doesn't matter if I hit my calorie goal or not. I just have to get back to being honest with myself. After a couple of days of re-establishing the habit, it's much easier to plan and control temptation so that I achieve my goals.

It sounds like this is your first time on MFP. Maybe it's your first time logging. If so, focus on that. Logging everything accurately is itself a skill that has to be practiced.

You can do this.

It's all about baby steps...
When you get up in the morning look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you can do this and it's going to be a hugely successful day. Every day is a brand new opportunity for awesome things to happen! Take advantage of everything that comes your way! Don't EVER beat yourself up or call yourself names. You know who you are and what you need to do so get up and take ownership. Pick something small today like "Today I won't drink any soda". And then don't drink it. Do that for a few days and then add something. And it doesn't have to be about taking something away, it should be about adding something in. Like... "Today, every time I want to drink soda, I'm going to drink a glass of soda Water with lemon". Change one small thing every week or even just once a month. Really it takes 21 - 30 days to break or make a habit.

When I first came to MFP I had already lost all of my weight. You know how I did it? I ate less and moved more. Replaced all of my drinks with water, began to eat way more fruit and veggies than I thought humanly possible and ate 90% whole healthy foods. I stayed away from fat, carbs (other than veggie carbs) and processed stuff. I didn't count ANY calories to begin with, just changed my life style. I lost a ton of weight and was totally psyched. When I came here and began to log it assisted me in the vanity pounds and different ideas for nutrition and exercise.

Get the food / eating under control first, then do the rest

Good luck buddy! I believe in you!

_Hoth_ Walking helps me. When I want to pig out. I force myself to walk. Don't powerwalk or speedwalk and try to loose 50lbs. Just go walking. Look at nature. Take some pressure off yourself.

Most everywhere you see me post I say "You didn't do this to yourself overnight, It's not coming off overnight" Right? So take some pressure off yourself. Go appreciate nature. Walk around. It's a win-win.

Another thought. I played video games for years. They suck. In the end, what do have to show?
If I had used that time to learn about the body and diet/exercise, well, there'd be a healthier me typing this. So why not start today, right now? Go for a walk. Maybe listen to some nice music or just take in the sounds around you.

Fell free to send me a FR and we can work on this. You can see some of my self sabotage. lol.

Hitting rock bottom is what saved me I expect. Best of success.

I feel for you... One day of good habits, will make you feel a lot better, and much more motivated to continue the habits. And to do well one day is very possible. Hold on

To some extent I feel like I do that type of behavior to feel in control- I want to eat it so I'm going to and there's nothing that I can do about it! (Self argument). You proved to yourself that you're in control and now you've seen what happens when you give in to that side- give yourself a manageable time frame when you make the other side win- see how much better you feel at the end of a week, rather than at the end of one meal when you ate whatever you wanted.

I feel for you and can relate with hitting that bottom. Journal entry how you feel about yourself, how your body is, what triggered the meltdown, what stress was going on in your life at the time, ... maybe if you can identify some pre-warning signs, you can avoid a full crash in the future. I like the "go walk" suggestion. Getting some fresh air is always good!

Focus on making small, sustainable changes. Maybe a goal for week 1 is just to eat whatever you want, but track it. Week 2, Track all food and try to stay at maintenance calories (the break even point). And then gradually lower your calories by a few hundred per week until you are eating a big enough deficit to lose a few pounds a week. Then start focusing on moving your body more. Etc. You cannot overhaul your lifestyle overnight. That's why you rebelled...after going full tilt for a week, you were not able to handle it and bounced back the other way hard. I have been there, but have learned from it. Small changes made consistently over a long period of time seem to work better than huge changes in the short run.