Who's got jealous friends?

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cakj79
cakj79 Posts: 3 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have a few friends and family members who seem bothered by my weighloss. All the sudden its like open season for critiquing my body and diet. Ive lost about 70 lbs over the past few years. One relative even encouraged me to stop even though I'm still a good 25 lbs over weight for my height. It made me realize how long I was the "fat friend" and makes me sad. Anyone else relate to this?

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  • Annr
    Annr Posts: 2,765 Member
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    I would say its time to re-evaluate your friends. My definition of what a friend is: a person that isn't judgmental, accepts you for who you are on the inside not just the outside, supports you thru thick and thin, will lift you up mentally when you need it, will make you feel honored to be their friend. I have throughout my life had to back off from friends that didn't do these things. When you go home from being with a friend and think, "why am I putting up with her then its time to re-evaluate.
    With family its harder. Family is there forever, but you can dictate how you are treated. Its hard to stand up to relatives but I would imagine that the lost of 70 lbs would give you that voice. They need to celebrate the new you, not belittle you or talk to you in a way that isn't supporting. I have also learned that family doesn't have to be blood related, and I have ladies in my life that are more sisterly to me than my own sisters. Sad but true. Good luck in communicating what you need to say to your friends and family.
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    edited August 2015
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    Are they not perhaps just having trouble adjusting to your new shape? Sometimes people that are used to seeing you bigger think you look too thin as you approach a healthy weight. Generally speaking I think sometimes people don't like change, but it might not be malicious and it would be a shame to assume so and let it affect your relationships.

    Well done for losing that 70lbs.
  • pussycatdoll21
    pussycatdoll21 Posts: 58 Member
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    Oh yesssssss i have a lot! Trying to convince me that i am working out a lot while they are sitting on their *kitten*! Don't worry doll. Keep it up
  • JustinDuffey
    JustinDuffey Posts: 15 Member
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    I have friends jealous of my arms but most are very supportive
  • qshadab
    qshadab Posts: 12 Member
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    Getting fitter is a tough job and people do get jealous thinking how he works out why not him. Just ignore, be an inspiration by yourself. Only you care about your fitness nothing else matters
  • sashayoung72
    sashayoung72 Posts: 441 Member
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    Awesome Job on 70 gone!!!
    I notice the "snarky" compliment. Like you need to stop, you're gonna get to skinny.... Ummm I'm still at least 50 overweight and by far NOT skinny. They probably worry that you are going to make them look bad. But oh well!!!
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    I don't think my friends are jealous. They're always complimentary and supportive, including friends who are overweight. My friends when I really was a bit chubby were a lot meaner, and made comments about my weight, but they had the narcissism of youth. We've all grown up since then.
  • marsinah1
    marsinah1 Posts: 106 Member
    edited August 2015
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    I've got that one friend who gets jealous if people pay attention to/notice/think about someone besides her. Someone once complemented me about having even skin tones in front of her, so she immediately blurted out, "Yeah, but she's got huge pores." She and others have their own issues and insecurities that they're being forced to face when they see what's happening with us. Unfortunately, they don't always realize it or know how to cope with it in a productive, positive way.
  • hotnumber
    hotnumber Posts: 222 Member
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    cakj79 wrote: »
    I have a few friends and family members who seem bothered by my weighloss. All the sudden its like open season for critiquing my body and diet. Ive lost about 70 lbs over the past few years. One relative even encouraged me to stop even though I'm still a good 25 lbs over weight for my height. It made me realize how long I was the "fat friend" and makes me sad. Anyone else relate to this?
    Tell these people to mind their own business. You have a goal weight in mind, so eat within your calorie range, choose healthier options when possible, and exercise... YOU CAN DO THIS!!! :)
  • crusadae
    crusadae Posts: 3 Member
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    It totally sucks. They think it's open season to comment on your body and nitpick every place that isn't perfect to them. Like they probably thought that before but wanted a reason to tell you to your face thinking there are no consequences.
  • SunshineBdoll
    SunshineBdoll Posts: 19 Member
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    I was amazed to experience this so early in my journey. Yes, my family likes to offer food, and say it's ok to miss meal prep, and say a workout is not tough enough. They only work out with me for 10min and bail. My mother also likes to remind me of how I used to be such a pretty girl, and I need to take better care of myself. Now that I am down only 13lbs she makes snarky comments like, that pound you lost last week I gained. Another family member said the same thing. I was shocked. I've gathered they don't like change. If my future is as successful as the past month and I reach that healthy body, I think they see me as showing them up. I'm not doing this for them. I'm doing it for me. I'm happy to help anyone along the Journey, but I do not appreciate negative comments. Everyone wants a rocking body, far fewer are willing to put forth that effort.

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