My rock bottom, glad you all could join me!!

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331.4....let me repeat 331.4!! I actually got off the scale and moved it to another room in my house, in the hopes that there was an earthquake last night which certainly must have disheveled my floorboards enough to create the 200 pound surplus. Once I started coming down off of my chocolate chip cookie high, the reality hit and I was left with a mixture of feeling sad, scared and angry. I am sad that I have allowed myself to get this point of morbid obesity. I am scared that I have potentially done irreversible damage to my body and will not be around to enjoy precious moments with my family and friends. I am angry that I have not found the strength within to change my life. There is no burger, cookie or chocolate bar in the world which will ever be able to satisfy my urge to eat. It is not the food I am in love with, it is the roller coaster of feelings I crave. The anticipation, the score, the brief feeling of euphoria and then the let down. A vicious cycle which I refuse to participate in anymore. TODAY is a new start for me. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year....today. All of you major food companies better watch out because your sales will be plummeting, starting now. :#

Replies

  • ms_smartypants
    ms_smartypants Posts: 8,278 Member
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    Welcome to MFP....wishing you much success ...YOU CAN DO IT !!! Feel free to add me if you would want a cheerleader while you are on this journey :)
  • toesinarow
    toesinarow Posts: 17 Member
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    Good for you for starting! Good luck.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Welcome :)
    Rest assured, you have not done irreversible damage to your body - you can totally control this situation in a safe and healthy manor. Good for you in starting this journey and Good luck!
  • BanksySJ11
    BanksySJ11 Posts: 96 Member
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    You have come to the right place. Motivation and support always available. Good luck, you can do this, for you!!
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,396 Member
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    Good for you! You CAN do this. It will be hard, there will be days (weeks, months even) where the scale doesn't do what it's supposed to do but in the end all the hard work will pay off.

    Do yourself a big favor right now. Go take "before" pictures and measurements. You don't have to show them to anybody EVER but often times the pictures and the measurements tell a much bigger story than the number on the scale. When you have a rough week, pull out those "befores" and compare them to how you look at that point. It helps keep you motivated.

    This site is great and there is so much information on it (both good and bad). Read as much as you can and good luck!!
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    Hello and welcome.
    We've all had those feelings at some point. ( your just clearly very good at putting your feelings into words. Your description was spot on !)
    The good news is, your here now and see that you must change ! Get yourself a food scale and start out by just learning how to weigh everything you consume.
    Get yourself some friends on here (,go through the threads of people seeking friends and send them requests ) and you'll catch on quickly!
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I am also 331 (5'11) and I would love to have you on my list! Request sent!
  • P1ckleface
    P1ckleface Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi! Well done on starting your journey! Just to wish you good luck! This is an amazing place for motivation as I've found everyone is really supportive, knowledgable and friendly! :)
  • mommaderp
    mommaderp Posts: 5 Member
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    *highfive!*

    I also had that rock bottom 2 weeks ago and that's what's spurred me into action. And I'm down 10lbs!

    Just start changing how much you're eating. It really sounds horrible. I remember being so defensive when people would say that, but it's true. Don't DEPRIVE yourself, but just be AWARE of your intake! I actually really enjoy tracking my food. It keeps me accountable and keeps my goals in front of me.

    I've been eating under my recommended caloric intake (1200-1500 calories a day instead of the recommended 1700) without even trying! I think one of my biggest moves is having far less sugar. Slurpees, coke, etc. I now do diet soda when I want one. I drink a lot more water. I still have cravings. We had KFC the other night because I just couldn't conquer the craving, BUT I still did okay on my calories because I had FAR LESS than I would have otherwise! I was over on my salts, but if it's only every now and then I don't think that's horrible.

    I know you can do it! Friend me. We can do it together :)
  • Chasity6
    Chasity6 Posts: 183 Member
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    Good luck always here if you need another friend. I have 135lbs to lose myself so all the support I can get is greatly appreciated. We can do this. :p