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The End Goal is Scary

tericmfp
tericmfp Posts: 3 Member
edited November 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
Good Afternoon,

I am Teri - 28 and UK Based.


I have spent my afternoon browsing the forums and reading about everyone's goals and acheivements.

Being a serial dieter I have tried them all - Slimming World, Juice Plus, Weight Watchers, Cambridge, Atkins, Exante....

I am now coming back to MFP - I lost just over a stone before and I have now put it back on, this is the reason why I am posting this.

Day One on rejoing and already I am sat here thinking about how tough my journey is going to be, how far away my end goal is and now I feel I need the comfort of food. This is exactly where I went wrong before.

I suffer from depression which stemmed from being bullied and my parents split and my coping mechanism is food. I really want to overcome it and would appreciate any advice.

I have well over 100lbs to lose so if you want to add me on here or even a reply to this post it would be much loved.

Teri xx
:)

Replies

  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
    I also used to turn to food for comfort--especially things filled with carbs and cheese.

    Honestly, the thing that keeps me going now is that I'm seeing progress on the scale and noticing how my clothing fits differently. I'm being more active, which is definitely helping with my general mood as well.

    Some days are still hard though. I had a party for my son this weekend and really I had been feeling pretty good about losing 30 lbs and then saw pictures of myself and felt pretty bummed. It can be really tough. I really really really wanted to eat a lot that evening but stopped myself by remembering that even though the pictures made me upset TODAY, if I stuck with this, the pictures at Christmas might make me less upset, and by his next birthday, I might actually WANT to be in pictures.
  • tericmfp
    tericmfp Posts: 3 Member
    gaelicstorm26 wrote: »
    I also used to turn to food for comfort--especially things filled with carbs and cheese.

    Honestly, the thing that keeps me going now is that I'm seeing progress on the scale and noticing how my clothing fits differently. I'm being more active, which is definitely helping with my general mood as well.

    Some days are still hard though. I had a party for my son this weekend and really I had been feeling pretty good about losing 30 lbs and then saw pictures of myself and felt pretty bummed. It can be really tough. I really really really wanted to eat a lot that evening but stopped myself by remembering that even though the pictures made me upset TODAY, if I stuck with this, the pictures at Christmas might make me less upset, and by his next birthday, I might actually WANT to be in pictures.


    I know how you mean, it was my brother's birthday meal the other week and literally the photo's that come from that I thought I was an understudy for Jabba the Hut
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Learning new coping techniques would probably be the most helpful thing you could do. Maybe try taking a yoga class.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,055 Member
    I've used food, booze, and other substances and behaviors to self-medicate. Now I use exercise, yoga, and other healthy things to change my state.

    Not sure what helped more, therapy or yoga. Probably yoga.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    tericmfp wrote: »
    I suffer from depression, and my coping mechanism is food. I really want to overcome it and would appreciate any advice.

    If what you're feeling isn't hunger, then food won't make you feel any better. Keep a list (even if only in your head) of non-food ways to make yourself feel better. Mine includes guilty-pleasure TV, walking outdoors, and getting a massage.

    Self-care is really important—but it can be difficult. What helped me was eliminating negative self-talk. I try to talk to myself at least as kindly as I would to one of my MFP friends. Like exercise, the more you do it, the better you get at it.

    Learn to log everything you eat & drink accurately & honestly. Make small, sustainable lifestyle changes. Learn proper serving sizes. You can eat anything in moderation and still lose weight.
  • Unknown
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  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    Wait a few minutes and the feeling will go away.
  • LegalMom0928
    LegalMom0928 Posts: 46 Member
    Taking the first step is the most important! Congrats on your decision to get healthy!

    I completely agree with the other posters; you have to really commit to taking care of yourself. The relationship you have with food has to be completely rebuilt. But you can't do that until you've really dedicated yourself to being healthy, finding other "tools" to help you cope with stress, depression, and whatever else life may throw at you.

    It takes time and it is not an easy task. But if you stick with it and give yourself lots of grace, you will succeed!! Best of luck!
  • Angelfire365
    Angelfire365 Posts: 803 Member
    It's easier if you break it up into smaller goals. Nevermind the 100+ pounds to go, you're only working on the first 10 right now. And once you reach that, celebrate! Reward yourself (preferably with something non-food, new colour nail polish?) and them set your goal for the next 10 pounds. You'll get there!
  • tericmfp
    tericmfp Posts: 3 Member
    I have been thinking about what you have all said and I think maybe reading more would help - keep my mind away from food :smiley:
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
    One thing I've been really working on is simply loving myself. I read a quote somewhere about talking to yourself like you love yourself and eating like you love yourself. Every day I realize more and more that I AM worth it.
  • beemerphile1
    beemerphile1 Posts: 1,710 Member
    Good luck on this the first day of a new journey.
    tericmfp wrote: »
    ...I suffer from depression which stemmed from being bullied and my parents split and my coping mechanism is food. I really want to overcome it and would appreciate any advice....

    You have identified what happened and how it affected you. Now you move on and don't repeat the same destructive behaviors. I used to have excuses but learned that once you can identify what happened and why you are a certain way, you can no longer use it as an excuse.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited August 2015
    Angelfire365 wrote: »
    It's easier if you break it up into smaller goals. Nevermind the 100+ pounds to go, you're only working on the first 10 right now. And once you reach that, celebrate! Reward yourself (preferably with something non-food, new colour nail polish?) and them set your goal for the next 10 pounds. You'll get there!

    This! Set small goals and reward yourself when you reach them. Rewards could be things like a pedicure, a new pair of earrings, a cute top in your new size, etc.

    One thing that helps me is reminding myself that the changes I have made are for the rest of my life. I'm not trying to lose X amount of pounds within a certain time frame, I am trying to maintain a healthy weight while living a healthier lifestyle. Without some arbitrary "finish line" I cannot fail and tomorrow is always a new day to do a little better. I eat what I want, in moderation, and balance out the days where I drink beer or eat sweets with days where I stay under my calorie goal. I've taken up running and weight lifting so I'm stronger and fitter than I've been in decades.

    If you have access to it, you might try to talk to a professional about your feelings and goals. Since it seems that much of your problem with food stems from emotional issues that might be a good way to get yourself into the right head space for maintaining a healthy weight for the rest of your life.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,055 Member
    For the negative self talk, try Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, the movie, expanded version. It was available in my library system so maybe yours as well.
  • titotito48
    titotito48 Posts: 120 Member
    It is tempting to not try when we have a long journey BUT time will pass anyway. Put one foot in front of the other. Each pound lost is one step closer to your goal. AND you will begin to feel better about yourself and better in general right away.
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,488 Member
    If you are not talking to a professional about your depression, and can't get past your childhood yourself, it may be a good idea to do so.

    If you can accept that was the past, and you are looking to your future, maybe change from your weight loss being a goal, to it being a lifestyle.

    If it is a goal, you may find the pressure of achieving the goal too much.

    If it is a lifestyle, this is how you will live, there will be ups and downs, you aim for more ups than downs, less pressure.

    Decide on the best way to count your calories; some pre plan, so they know at the start of the day what they are going to eat, others log as they go, me, I sit at the end of the day and log what I have eaten. Chose what works for you now, you can always change your way later, but do it every day, good or bad.

    Reduce your calories slowly. Just log your normal eating, for the first couple of weeks, then start lowering by 100 cal per day per week until you reach the cals MFP set you.

    Setting too high a deficit is less sustainable, in general, than setting a reasonable deficit.

    Use a food scale for accuracy.

    Some exercise always helps.

    Look, and work, towards the life you want to live, not back to what was.

    Cheers, h.
  • fettters
    fettters Posts: 1 Member
    Hey Teri.

    I'm Yan from Florida, 26 y/o with well over 100lbs to drop as well. I've lost nearly 30lbs but it's taken a little under a year. I tend to eat when I get depressed or stressed out so I know how you're feeling. Everyone else has good advice so I'm going to take some of it for myself. I've got little to contribute but if you ever need someone to talk to, I can listen.
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