Anyone else struggle with not liking their body after weight loss?

When you have a lot of weight to lose, your skin isn't always going to look pretty afterwards. It comes with the territory.

Either have skin removal surgery or learn to love your body the way it is. Look at your stretch marks and loose skin as progress, as strength, as success. Or lift heavy weights and maybe just maybe your skin will tighten up.

I got a few stretch marks too. But the way I see it, it shouldn't matter how you look on the outside it's all about the inside. You should feel proud that you are doing something to have better health. Things like stretch marks or so minor in my eyes. And if people think it is disgusting then you don't need to be their friend. People need to overcome these little minor "flaws" because they are not what defines you as a person. When I think of weight or little things like stretch marks I think of them as only a part of the whole. In other words, they are only a part of me and not the whole me. A lot of times when we look in the mirror we find things wrong with us and like to amplify a flaw when it really isn't an issue or even there. My advice, if you can live with it don't worry what other people think. Have people accept you as is or you shouldn't waste your time or energy with them. You're a beautiful person regardless.

You are not alone! In fact at one point (about half way) all I could image was how I was going to spend the rest of my life all alone - because there was NO WAY I was going to every let a man be with me. Light on or off, it was just too much skin. Then one day I realized that I didn't look so bad, the skin had shrunk, in fact it still is. Yes, I have stretch marks and still have some excess skin on my thighs, stomach and my bat wings and while I still don't like it, I have a wonderful man in my life that acknowledges my toned muscles and all the hard work that I put in (not implying you need a man to define you, but acceptance always helps). I don't know what may have helped my skin, I have always been a heavy daily moisturizer and still am, I do drink plenty of water and try and eat balanced. I know there are some exercises that are supposed to work muscles that help tighten areas and this is supposed to help the skin appear more toned - not claiming they work but they can't hurt. I would give it more time, concentrate more on the healthy benefits of weight loss. By the way, I'm 46 and was overweight for at least 15 years so I really never expected my body to be what it was, I didn't even think it would as good as it is. Celebrate the 40 lost and Hang in there!

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OP, I understand what you're saying here. I have seriously loose skin around my stomach, and seriously stretch-marked-up thighs. I struggled with it for quite a while... and while I was doing some mental struggling with my love/hate relationship with my body, a couple of things happened.

1. I realized that my husband thinks I'm hawt... stretchy, loose, gross skin and all. Once I had that little epiphany, I realized that
2. Maybe that's good enough, that external validation. And maybe it's not. But I noticed that as time passes, the stretch marks faded a little and the tummy tightened up. ONly minutely. But I decided to focus on something else.
3. I realized that FOR ME, it's not as much what my body looks like (though that's still important), but what my body can do for me. I can chase after my Great Pyrenees puppies when they get loose at the park without being (too) winded. I can play with my sons for longer. I can OUTRUN them, and that makes me grin (like a loon... Really. My kids think I'm crazy when we race). I can wear a swimsuit without embarrassment (as long as my stomach is covered - I'll probably never wear a two piece again) and take my boys swimming. And I realized that I WANTED to do that. That's a major step for me, the wanting to do something physically active. I'm training for a half marathon - it's a while away, but just the fact that I think I can train for it and actually manage to accomplish it is amazing. 70+ pounds ago I'd have never thought I could.


Will all that make my jiggly belly and my stretch marks go away? No, but the knowledge that even with those things, my body is an amazing thing is empowering. And YOUR body is an amazing thing too. :flowerforyou:

davis_em wrote: »

OP, I understand what you're saying here. I have seriously loose skin around my stomach, and seriously stretch-marked-up thighs. I struggled with it for quite a while... and while I was doing some mental struggling with my love/hate relationship with my body, a couple of things happened.

1. I realized that my husband thinks I'm hawt... stretchy, loose, gross skin and all. Once I had that little epiphany, I realized that
2. Maybe that's good enough, that external validation. And maybe it's not. But I noticed that as time passes, the stretch marks faded a little and the tummy tightened up. ONly minutely. But I decided to focus on something else.
3. I realized that FOR ME, it's not as much what my body looks like (though that's still important), but what my body can do for me. I can chase after my Great Pyrenees puppies when they get loose at the park without being (too) winded. I can play with my sons for longer. I can OUTRUN them, and that makes me grin (like a loon... Really. My kids think I'm crazy when we race). I can wear a swimsuit without embarrassment (as long as my stomach is covered - I'll probably never wear a two piece again) and take my boys swimming. And I realized that I WANTED to do that. That's a major step for me, the wanting to do something physically active. I'm training for a half marathon - it's a while away, but just the fact that I think I can train for it and actually manage to accomplish it is amazing. 70+ pounds ago I'd have never thought I could.


Will all that make my jiggly belly and my stretch marks go away? No, but the knowledge that even with those things, my body is an amazing thing is empowering. And YOUR body is an amazing thing too. :flowerforyou:

Nice post!

Also, I felt the same way about the two-piece until I found this baby, which I find pretty sexy *and* it covers exactly what I need covered.

http://plus-size.swimsuitsforall.com/img/product/altViews/z_3212BK3213_ALTERNATIVE.jpg

I wear a 14 on top and 10 on bottom, but it comes in straight size and plus size.

Great job on your loss! Are you weight training?

Hi, I am really glad I've found your post online, I was beginning to think it was impossible to communicate with someone dealing with excess skin. I've lost 7 stone in a year and I'm am feeling so unhappy with my end result, I literally look like I'm made from wax and I've melted in the sun, everything has just gone south and I'm so wobbly and there's excess skin everywhere. I am 24 and my body resembles a woman of a much senior age. I am currently seeing a therapist and having CBT therapy to help me to deal with my low self esteem and body issues. I have a long term partner who I've been with for 10 years who has stuck by my side through everything and I still can't undress in front of him.
I find it difficult to be proud and happy of my weight loss when I hate my body just as much as before and I have no one to blame but myself for gaining so much weight in the first place. Is there anyone I can talk to who's in the same situation so I don't feel so alone in my struggle.

I'll also recommend heavy weights. I found myself looking saggy and cellulite getting worse as I was losing until I upped my protein and started lifting heavy. I'm amazed at what it has done for my body composition!

Lift weights,

Stop worrying about it. Sounds like it's all in your head honestly I didn't like the way I looked during the process... kind of still don't like the way I look now but it's not an issue... and I met my fiance after my weight loss and she still loves me. I lost 172lbs so I know what it's like, however I would say my skin issues isn't horrible.

I think most of us, especially with a lot of weight lost (or left to lose) feel the same. I'm a little over halfway to my ideal goal (that may change but for now im keeping it) and have lost 70 some pounds to date. for me, the biggest issue seems to be my lower abdomen where most of my pregnancy stretch marks are. They are old and faded (17 years old) but the weight loss seems to make them stand out more and seem more.. wrinkly? i dunno. i dont like it but cant do much about it LOL

I'm hoping that my relative young age (37) and the use of coconut oil (and increased weight training when I get to that point) will help its appearance over time.

Also, I have heard that skin can take up to 2 years to get to the shape it will 'end' in - so don't discount that, too.

All that said, I can tell you that guys, especially ones that arent 'kids' - really dont seem to care. And you wouldnt want to be with one that did, anyways....

What about saving for the surgery or surgeries that would make the most difference? Maybe that could be part of a weekly reward for adherence or fitness goals or something along those lines. I know it's not easy for many to save in this environment, but maybe some combination of saving, making some choices about spending, and taking pro financial planning advice on investment could get you there. I think comfort with your body is at least worth a couple of trips to Mexico.

I've come to terms with my stretch marks. I have had them since I was in elementary school, and they aren't going anywhere. It's the lose skin that I know will be there, because it's been there when I was thinner. I know I will love the smaller me again, but I know I will still be just as self conscious. I have a very poor outlook of my body, and probably always will. Maybe when my S.O. becomes rich and successful, I can chop it all off, heh heh

tomatoey wrote: »

personally, i think governments and insurance companies should be doing *everything possible* to reward people who've made the significant changes to their lifestyles that reduce more expensive long-term burdens to taxpayers and payers of insurance premiums. if they'll sometimes pay for WLS, why not for this? in the absence of that kind of support, i don't know... i wish there were an accessible way to help people afford this kind of surgery (vs. ripoff financing deals). (maybe there's some kind of business idea in that... )

Because it's our own fault we got so fat in the first place.