Restart of a restart of a restart.

So I'm starting fresh with a fresh account and a fresh username and none of my real life friends attached, etc. When I have real life friends attached to MFP, I find myself cheating. Sometimes not logging all my food so I don't get judged. I don't feel the same way when I have internet friends attached, and will log everything, even if it puts me over.

I have an unhealthy relationship with food, and I realize it, I just can't seem to own it. I eat out of boredom. I have little energy to get up and be active when I'm bored. I also have a hard time finding that "full enough" point where I can stop eating. I'm generally not satisfied until I feel gross, no matter how slow or mindful I try to eat.

I've tried every thing out there once or twice, sometimes for a few weeks of success. Keto, IF, LCHF, IIFYM, etc. Quite often I can't even stick it out for a single day. I start off, and can be sensible about food until just after lunch, when I want to eat all the things.

I'm 37, male, with a diagnosed extremely low thyroid (lab numbers look good at current Synthoid doage, at low end of normal TSH). I love to eat junk. I try to do it in moderation, but it leaves me jonesing for more, unsatisfied. I try to cut it out entirely, like an addict going cold turkey, and I break down after a few days to a week and binge.

I decided to make a clean break from my old MFP data to keep me from going back and agonizing over whole weeks of days where I was 1000+ calories over every day. Only looking forward.

I just went through my office and got rid of all my mindless eating caches. Chips and candy and such, and put them in the break room for the scavengers to find. I've gotten some whole apples and carrots for daily snacking, and will try to limit my 2 candy bars and a bag of chips and pop days to one Saturday a month.

I'm inconveniently tall, 6'6", and weigh in, today, at 298lbs. Induction based bodyfat percentages estimate between 30 and 35%, for what those are worth.

If anyone who's active on the forums and logging wishes to add me, i'd be happy to be part of a community of people for whom this is as hard as it is for me.

Replies

  • peep69
    peep69 Posts: 11 Member
    I have some of same struggles. I have office job where I sit most of day and there is usuallY food somewhere. So up have started packing a bag each morning of better choice foods and leaving it on my desk so even if I am eating out of boredom it is not so bad. My go to choice lately had been a baggie of cereal (chocolate cheerios) I munch on them all morning and have only consumed 100 or so calories. It also helped me to buy the 100 calorie snacks the trick
    Is only bring a couple a day cuz u could eat whole box lol. I wish you.luck as we all take on this journey. I am on restart day 5.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Unless you really tackle this inability to stick things out then you will find yourself in the same situation again. I'd have a real think about whether you are committed enough to want to do what it takes and getting the right mindset to turn one week into two and then three. Start with 1 day of logging and no restrictions, then introduce gradual change. When you decide to go off track its a decision you make.
  • tiffanycompton33
    tiffanycompton33 Posts: 56 Member
    My highest calories come around lunch time too. I usually have a small or non-breakfast and a small dinner so when its the middle of the day and I am stressed I can eat whatever I want. Everyone is different but for me having carbs or sugary stuff when I fist get up doesn't work. I'll be hungry a couple hours later and yes for more of the same. So I would suggest to try to eat one or two balanced meals a day and find something active that you truly enjoy doing. I still eat chips and soda and beer. It can be done. Add me if you like :) I usually start the day with a cup of coffee and some cottage cheese, a panini or a wrap or a sandwich for lunch with a pop and chips or fries and a balanced dinner (chicken and broccoli or a salad) when work is over and stress starts to taper off. I don't really snack. Even healthy snacks just seem to make me hungrier. But again this is just me. I have many successful friends that eat all balanced and snack a lot.
  • 999tigger wrote: »
    Unless you really tackle this inability to stick things out then you will find yourself in the same situation again. I'd have a real think about whether you are committed enough to want to do what it takes and getting the right mindset to turn one week into two and then three. Start with 1 day of logging and no restrictions, then introduce gradual change. When you decide to go off track its a decision you make.

    Since my knee jerk reaction to this was "shut up, its not a decision i make!" I had to pull back a sec and think. Of course, you're right. I've tricked myself into believing that its like gravity or something, and the chips will always end up in my mouth, no matter what I do. I'm starting to come to the realization that I have two choices. Continue as I am and enjoy the short term buzz I get from binging on junk or, if I want to feel better, look better and live longer, start limiting myself, just like I would limit a child who just wants without thinking of the consequences.

    I still want, but I suspect that if I stop indulging my spoiled inner child every time it wants fatty, salty, sugary excesses that it will get easier.

    I am extremely self aware, and I know what I do and that it's not the best thing for me. I rarely eat without realizing the calories I take in. I've been logging long enough (years and years) to be mindful of CICO, I just never really took it seriously or considered the ramifications.

    Your idea of introducing limitations gradually is a smart one, and the path I had intended to take. My primary target is not the real food I eat at the table, but rather the crap snacking I do. I'm migrating from vending machine fare to fruits, vegetables and nuts (in moderation) and trying to limit the amount of refined sugar snacks that I consume. Hoping that this limitation, increasing in strictness over time, will let me reduce cravings for such foods.

  • GreyKnight120
    GreyKnight120 Posts: 60 Member
    I went ahead and added you as a friend. I've recently re-joined as well and found/find myself in many similar patterns. There are some tricks and techniques I've been employing that have been very helpful, but I myself am only about two weeks in and at the very start of a lifelong journey after a couple of unsuccessful attempts prior.

    I agree with the notion of introducing limitations gradually. I've found that too much deprivation leads to frustration which leads to binge-eating - at least in my particular case. I have been rationalizing it this way. If I want a Snickers bar (a particular Achilles' heel of mine) than I'm not going to intentionally deprive myself of it. Having anything "off limits" just makes most folks want it that much more, and I'm no exception. I hit the vending machine, enjoy my Snickers bar, but then find some way to compensate (I don't like the word 'punish'). I might take away dessert at dinner, or add 15-20 minutes onto a walk/swim/bike/whatever. I think cravings are fine, and giving into them - from time to time - is also fine. Limiting oneself seems to be the key.

    The most important thing, I think, is realizing that even if one were to go to Walmart and buy up like 20 candy bars and eat them all like a ravenous kid after Halloween (and I'm neither confirming nor denying that this ever happened), it's one failure in one day, and in the overall scheme of things there's a lot more time available to return back to the good habits. I'm kind of just rambling now so I'll stop.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    edited September 2015
    I'm inconveniently tall, 6'6", and 298 lbs. I'm 37, male, with a diagnosed extremely low thyroid (lab numbers look good at current Synthroid dosage, at low end of normal TSH).

    I love to eat junk. I try to do it in moderation, but it leaves me jonesing for more, unsatisfied. I try to cut it out entirely, like an addict going cold turkey, and I break down after a few days to a week and binge. I find myself cheating. Sometimes not logging all my food so I don't get judged.

    I'm "inconveniently short" (5'2") and have Hashimoto's (autoimmune thyroid disease). I lost the weight (and kept it off) by learning to log everything I eat & drink accurately & honestly. It took me months to get 100% honest with my logging. But logging is like exercise—the more you do it, the better you get at it.

    This time, make small, sustainable changes. Set your goal to .5 lb. per week for every 25 lbs. you're overweight. Eat "good" 80% of the time, and fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to bingeing.

    For example, I used to eat an entire pint of ice cream. Now I buy those cups of Haagen Dazs with the wee spoon in the lid. (I also pretend I'm a giant eating an entire pint, but that part is strictly optional.) When you binge, log it accurately and let it go. I promise you, it gets better. Logging works.

    Hands down, the best weight-loss advice I ever received was to read the Sexypants post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
  • Tblackdogs
    Tblackdogs Posts: 325 Member
    Advice I have for you is to imagine that you are not a snacker, binger, etc. Imagine that you are a mindful, moderate person who eats for energy and nutrition and only occasionally for recreation. Obviously I am on this site, and am trying to lose some weight too, so I'm not perfect, but I have really found that picturing myself as a good, healthy, non-obsessive eater has really helped. Try not to obsess. Try to not to think about it all the time. Try to eat a few times a day, so that you have enough energy to do what you have to do. Good luck!
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Sounds a lot like me. Every day, I'm "going to be good" and pack healthy foods for work and plan my dinner. Come mid-morning/noon, I just want chips and snacks. I'm trying to actually think about wanting it, if I'm hungry or if it's just because I'm bored (usually the latter, of course).

    Being so tall your daily calories, even to lose weight, will be a lot higher than many here. So, you should be able to still have foods you enjoy. Add in exercise, and you can eat even more. I'll add you, I'm here every day (151 days and counting lol)!
  • Thanks everyone. Almost lunchtime here on the east coast. Started thinking about the vending machine, but I ate a carrot and a glass of water instead and decided I didn't actually want candy all that bad. Hooray for me.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I like Dove Promises chocolates. At first, I'd have five at a time. (That's one serving according to the bag.) Then I gradually tapered off until one is enough most days.

    Look for a middle ground between "all the candy" and "a carrot and a glass of water."
  • TheopolisAmbroiseIII
    TheopolisAmbroiseIII Posts: 197 Member
    edited September 2015
    editorgrrl wrote: »
    I like Dove Promises chocolates. At first, I'd have five at a time. (That's one serving according to the bag.) Then I gradually tapered off until one is enough most days.

    Look for a middle ground between "all the candy" and "a carrot and a glass of water."

    It was 10am, I don't need candy and chocolate this early. :) I made mention before but in all honesty, eating 1 serving of dove chocolate would be more torture than pleasure. I can easily eat a whole bag of those and look around for where my wife hid the second bag. Indulging 50 calories worth here and there will give me nothing. I'm better off doing without until I can have what I feel is a more reasonable amount (maybe 300-400 calories?) than to trickle sugar into me and crave it all the more.
  • estes_c
    estes_c Posts: 4 Member
    I've recently started my journey over again as well. I started with just logging in every day and reading articles. I've slowly incorporated logging what I eat and am now working on lowering my calorie intake. Once I have that, I am going to try getting in walks and such. I keep hearing that small manageable changes are the way to go. I can't fully speak to it yet, but so far it seems to be working. I am keeping the new habits. I am even walking up the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator now. Feel free to add me and we can encourage each other. Good luck!
  • GreyKnight120
    GreyKnight120 Posts: 60 Member
    eating 1 serving of dove chocolate would be more torture than pleasure. I can easily eat a whole bag of those and look around for where my wife hid the second bag. Indulging 50 calories worth here and there will give me nothing. I'm better off doing without until I can have what I feel is a more reasonable amount (maybe 300-400 calories?) than to trickle sugar into me and crave it all the more.
    This is kind of how I am too. There are better ways to do it. Having one of something like that for me is an extremely slippery slope, and one I'd rather not tread upon either. It's that whole Lay's mentality, "bet you can't eat just one" - they're right. Having a healthier substitute like carrots and water is what I have been doing as well. I'll still eat the bag of chocolate but when I do it I'm cognizant of what I'm doing and know that it's a bit of unhealthy, but I remind myself that if I keep up with the healthy habits for the remainder of the week, it's a drop in a bucket... and if I keep up with them for a month, it's a drop in the ocean. It's just a matter of allowing that bit of indulgence without making a regular habit of it. And that can be tough sometimes.
  • timeforwork
    timeforwork Posts: 114 Member
    over the last few weeks iv managed to stop in the local shop and buy just a single jam doughnut inteaead of a pack of 3 ( yes I would normaly eat all 3 at once) and another time I got a 45g bag of chocolate instead of a share 200gbag ( again all would of been eaten in 1 go). both days these treats took me slightly over my daily allowance as both eaten in the evening with no calorie allowance left BUT I didn't go for the bigger packs which is a huge achievement for me and a few hundred over is much better than close to a 1000 over in my book and I just cut back the next couple of days by 50 calories or so per day. it hasn't got to be all or nothing espesialy at the start of the journey. just work on the small things bit by bit and you will start to see the improvments. good luck x
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    You're me a year ago brother. I let myself think that the job was limiting me from working out/eating right, but it was an excuse I was making to justify my behavior. I simply decided to make a series of small changes and stuck to it. Very smart to implement small changes over time rather than drastic ones you'll never stick with as this results in drastic backlash for most people.

    Feel free to add me and welcome aboard!
  • cparsons_60
    cparsons_60 Posts: 95 Member
    OP, do you do any kind of exercise? You mention all the different weight loss programs you've tried, but you say nothing about exercise. It sounds to me as though you're starting off with the hardest thing (for you), your relationship with food. I have found that working out makes me want to eat better, so it's not such a struggle. Maybe you should start off with some fitness goals rather than food goals, and see whether the food goals come more easily later on.
  • jenr6482
    jenr6482 Posts: 59 Member
    I lost 25 lbs last year with MFP but quit and have gained back 15. I have to get back on track. Today's the day!
  • I bike about 18km a day, 3-5 days a week and do 5x5 stronglifts 3 days a week. I tend to eat back 0-60% of my exercise calories. I rarely eat because I'm hungry, its boredom and habit.
  • cparsons_60
    cparsons_60 Posts: 95 Member
    I bike about 18km a day, 3-5 days a week and do 5x5 stronglifts 3 days a week. I tend to eat back 0-60% of my exercise calories. I rarely eat because I'm hungry, its boredom and habit.
    Glad to hear you get such a good amount of exercise, and I'm sorry it doesn't help with the boredom eating. I wish you strength and patience as you embark on this project.
  • IzzyBooNZ1
    IzzyBooNZ1 Posts: 1,289 Member
    wowo glad I read this...sounds like me ! thank you for sharing. I am often a boredom eater and then I get mad at myself for eating junk.

    I have changed my diary settings on private. I believe I will be more likely to log everything, as before I would get anxious/embarrassed etc over logging certain foods and having people look at my diary , judging me etc. I keep falling off the wagon and I am so close to my goal .

    a lot of helpful advice here and thank you !