38 and need a swift kick in the butt

Hi everyone!
I'm new to the community and in search of support. I'm 38 years old and have struggled with weight for a little over 10 years now. I was never overweight as a child or teen. I have tried many horrible, unhealthy diets in hopes that they are the magic needed to stop the vicious circle. The only thing they have done is mess with my metabolism, encourage additional weight gain and in turn, increased my anxiety in general. Recently, I was told that I cannot have children. I was shocked and devastated. After many hospital visits and tests (some quite painful), I was told that I was a candidate for IVF and I was thrilled and encouraged. Unfortunately, when I went to sign the paperwork to get the process started, the fertility clinic turned me away because of my weight. Instead of losing the weight (20lbs) that I needed to, I spiraled out of control and gained 50 lbs. I suspect that I may have BED but have not actually spoken with a professional yet (likely to happen in upcoming weeks). If you struggle in a similar way and would like a buddy system, I'd be happy to lend the support. After all, doesn't it always seem easier to help someone else rather than help yourself? Ugh.

In order to get back to the fertility clinic, I have to lose 50lbs but that brings me to 200lbs and it is still an unhealthy weight. I need to learn how to make a lifestyle change and take baby steps. I need small victories.