Stressed out

Options
m13a
m13a Posts: 41 Member
edited September 2015 in Motivation and Support
I'm at my sister's helping her take care of her babies while her husband is away and, though I love the children, I'm getting pretty stressed out here.

She lives in another state so when I do come, I usually stay for weeks at a time. Pretty much every time it's a similar routine. She is very strict as a person, with herself and others, and expects a lot out of me when I'm here. She wants me to be engaged and playing with or entertaining them at all times. She doesn't like it and makes comments if I'm just sitting next to them while they play and I want to read or look at my phone some.

On top of that, and more related to the issue of weight loss, I feel a lot of pressure from her to eat less. She's always been the thinnest out of my family and though I'm quite close to my goal of 155 pounds (I was at 161 when I checked my weight before traveling here), she has a lot of hangups about her own eating habits and body image, as well as those of others.

We eat meals together and, most days, I've been lucky to come in at 1,000 calories, even while supplementing my diet with snacks that I brought with me. My daily goal is about 1,400 and with working out at home, I was able to eat 1,600+ most of the time. I'd go out more but have limited finances, no personal mode of transportation here, and pretty much no time to myself to be able to do so. I might manage to sneak out tomorrow and bring back calorie-laden snacks, but this environment still gets to me.

Basically, I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally, and feel hungry a lot of the time. I guess that's about it. Does anyone else have eating or body issues when around family? I'm just trying to hang on and make it through this.

Replies

  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    Options
    Whoa. Sounds like you guys need to talk about this. You're an adult and you can make your own food choices. She needs to realize and respect this!

    You're doing her a favor.. She should be nicer! Sorry you're king through this. I honestly would leave... I can't survive on those few calories!
  • NewLifeMel2015
    NewLifeMel2015 Posts: 10 Member
    Options
    Oh my goodness, if it was my sister i would tell her where to shove it lol. Im sorry your going through this sounds to me like your sister doesnt take you seriously nor does she respect you. Say somthing to her maybe stand up for yourseld your a person u have a voice to and she is not better than you so dont ever let her treat you or make u feel that way. Feel free to add me xx
  • m13a
    m13a Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    Thank you for your input @Cortneyrenee04 and @NewLifeMel2015 and I know talking it out would normally be the reasonable thing to do. I don't feel that I can leave because she honestly needs my help right now. I also don't want to confront her because, knowing how she is, I know she just responds aggressively to any sort of criticism, no matter what way it's put. I'm not one to avoid confrontation, usually, but I feel like I have to approach this as though there's no getting through to her. In any case, I'm here trying to relieve her stress, she's just making it very difficult for me to do so.

    Today at dinner she saw me using MFP and revealed that she's 10 pounds lighter than me and would like to lose at least 20 more. We're very close to being the same height with a similar body type so it made me feel uncomfortable. I know I shouldn't compare but it's just difficult. With the last snack I have left, I'll have eaten 900 calories today. Not ideal at all.

    Afterward, she told me she doesn't want me to listen to or watch anything while her daughter is napping - some of my only free time when I'm caring for them - because she wants me near her while she does, any noise out loud might wake her up, and she doesn't want me using headphones around her. When I asked if we could set up the playpen, since her primary reason for why is that she's afraid my niece might fall onto the side of the crib or climb out, she said that even though there is space, she just doesn't want the clutter and that I should be watching her anyway.

    I feel like everything - the rules and the food issues - are converging to create an intolerable situation.

    Sorry if this just seems like complaining. I suppose it is. Families are crazy. Remind me not to let myself get into this situation again?

Categories