Reaching your goal weight and not happy

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I am 8 pounds to my goal weight of 150. I am not happy at all. I will have reached the 60+ mark that point around 2 SNeeds kiddos that I homeschool and I am proud of that challenge. But to look at myself I still see a good old flabby section in the middle. I have toned and thinned out everywhere else but there. My legs in skinny jeans look great, they have definition. Etc.. Tummy, ugh... I am 5 ft 7 and half. 158 pounds and my goal when I began was 150. "Then" the 150 was so far away and seemed like a good target. "Now" it seems like I should set a new target but I really do not know what it should even be. How are others doing this? Is it reasonable to just go till your happy with no target at all? What is a goal/baseline for self motivation? I am 40.

Replies

  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
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    It sounds like you might want to focus on body composition, rather than weight, per se.
  • DemoraFairy
    DemoraFairy Posts: 1,806 Member
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    I got to my initial goal of 120lbs and wasn't happy, so just carried on losing until I was happy (or until losing any more would have been unhealthy, but I didn't quite reach that point). Ultimately everyone's goal is to be happy with their body and not simply a number on the scale, and being happy with your body isn't dictated by the number on the scale.

    If you're not happy, chances are building some muscle would go a long way. Do you do any kind of weight lifting or muscle building activities?
  • Emaginesc
    Emaginesc Posts: 49 Member
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    Other than walking (sons Service Dog), swimming (when I do not have a hand on a kidlet) I try my best to do BodyLastics. I am pretty homebound with the boys. I pull out the Wii - Fitness DVD, Zumba etc just to break up the day. I fit things where I can. HTH...
  • momoharuno
    momoharuno Posts: 141 Member
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    Here's a great calculator for figuring out a target goal that takes into account your frame size as well
    http://www.superskinnyme.com/ideal_weight_calculator.html

    If you don't like your stomach then losing more is your best bet, even if you want to ignore the suggested target goals and just keep going until you're where you are happy, then that's fine. Honestly the best point to know when to stop is to look in the mirror and say "do I like this? Am I happy at this weight?" You can obviously do it, just remember to stay healthy! Good luck! :)
  • DemoraFairy
    DemoraFairy Posts: 1,806 Member
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    You could always try throwing in some body weight exercises to do at home, too. There are some good videos on YouTube for that. But yeah, there's nothing wrong with just dieting until you're happy as long as you stay a healthy weight.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    kdonathen wrote: »
    I am 8 pounds to my goal weight of 150. I am not happy at all. I will have reached the 60+ mark that point around 2 SNeeds kiddos that I homeschool and I am proud of that challenge. But to look at myself I still see a good old flabby section in the middle. I have toned and thinned out everywhere else but there. My legs in skinny jeans look great, they have definition. Etc.. Tummy, ugh... I am 5 ft 7 and half. 158 pounds and my goal when I began was 150. "Then" the 150 was so far away and seemed like a good target. "Now" it seems like I should set a new target but I really do not know what it should even be. How are others doing this? Is it reasonable to just go till your happy with no target at all? What is a goal/baseline for self motivation? I am 40.

    Yes, I believe that is completely reasonable. I'm at that spot right now. I am 5'6" and in the high 140s. My original goal was 154 and then 150. Now I am going without a number goal. I just want to like what I see in the mirror. For me, that means not seeing flab in the midsection. Not that I am going for a 6-pack--I could not care less about "visible abs"--I just don't want to see a roll while standing up straight. I have no idea what my weight will be when I get there but I am cutting until just before Thanksgiving. Then I'll take several months at maintenance and then I may or may not cut some more.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    It sounds like you might want to focus on body composition, rather than weight, per se.
    Agreed. There's a lot of great information about recomping here:
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat
  • M30834134
    M30834134 Posts: 411 Member
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    What I found out when I reached my goal is that my body composition was different from years ago when I was at the same weight. What we dont realize is when we lose weight, we lose both - fat and muscle. So, when we reach our goal, we, usually, still have higher body fat % compared to before - and look different, while being the same weight.

    I had to keep a slight deficit after reaching my goal in order to trim some BF and eventually got the the physique I wanted.
  • Emaginesc
    Emaginesc Posts: 49 Member
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    I like the body site link, though it tells me 125-135ish. My goodness that was prekids and zits. LOL... Completely do-able as I have the eating motivation. It has become habit. I suppose I will keep trucking and explore some more pinterest and youtube for home videos. That is where I found the BodyLastics and like them.
  • Emaginesc
    Emaginesc Posts: 49 Member
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    TY for the link... great reading for me to do today :)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,121 Member
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    kdonathen wrote: »
    Is it reasonable to just go till your happy with no target at all?

    I hit my first goal 5 kilograms ago.

    When I hit it, that little message that appears at the bottom of the food section when you close your food diary for the day was telling me I could be a number I haven't seen in years in 5 weeks. Really? I could actually get down there? OK!

    So I did. Then that little message told me a new number ... a number I haven't seen in about a decade. That weight is within reach? All right, let's go!

    That little message is now telling me a number I haven't seen since about 2003 when I was in the best shape of my life, so that's what I'm currently working toward. I never thought I'd see that number again, but there it is, just within grasp. :)

    I don't have a specific end point just yet, more of a timeline. I'll keep going until the end of September, then see where I am ... reassess the situation. If I feel like I want to continue a bit longer, I'll keep going to the end of October. I probably won't keep going much further than that ... but I'll see when I get there.

  • Emaginesc
    Emaginesc Posts: 49 Member
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    Ahhh so it teased you with a new goal number... somehow I find that enticingly cruel. :)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,121 Member
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    kdonathen wrote: »
    Ahhh so it teased you with a new goal number... somehow I find that enticingly cruel. :)

    Yes!! Sneaky little thing!

    And I have a sneaking suspicion I'm being led along like a horse with a carrot. :grin:

  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    It sounds like you might want to focus on body composition, rather than weight, per se.

    This.

    @kdonathen, time to get to the gym and hit those heavy weights.
  • Emaginesc
    Emaginesc Posts: 49 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    It sounds like you might want to focus on body composition, rather than weight, per se.

    This.

    @kdonathen, time to get to the gym and hit those heavy weights.


    I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to do this... unfortunately it is not in the cards. It is very hard to get a sitter for two kids with SNeeds and a Service Dog. Esp when one is a male, 13. Thus, I live vicariously through stalking MFP.
  • Venus_Red
    Venus_Red Posts: 209 Member
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    I had to adjust my goal weight the opposite direction thanks to wrinkles -it turns out fat fills them in a bit and my face looks better with an extra 5lbs than it does with at my vanity goal # at my age now :)
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    kdonathen wrote: »
    SLLRunner wrote: »
    It sounds like you might want to focus on body composition, rather than weight, per se.

    This.

    @kdonathen, time to get to the gym and hit those heavy weights.


    I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to do this... unfortunately it is not in the cards. It is very hard to get a sitter for two kids with SNeeds and a Service Dog. Esp when one is a male, 13. Thus, I live vicariously through stalking MFP.

    Resistance training will be key to decreasing your body fat if you are happy with your weight. There are body weight programs you can do at home (look at convict conditioning or you are your own gym) or things you can get for around the house (trx system or some resistance bands).
  • MissJay75
    MissJay75 Posts: 768 Member
    edited September 2015
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    Congratulations on your weight loss so far, you should feel very proud of what you have accomplished!! I am 40 year old 5'7 homeschooling mom of 2, one of which is special needs, so I feel like I can relate a little.

    I started at 175 and knew my goal would be in the 130-135 range depending on how I like what I saw. That was about what I weighed when I got married, and I thought it would be a good size for my frame. (I was always very lean growing up). After the first 20 pounds or so I didn't lose much more from my arms and legs, it was all booty and belly. It sounds like your belly fat is being stubborn and wants to come off last. You can try resetting your goal for another 5-10 pounds, and see if some of the belly fats starts coming off.

    Even though my belly is pretty flat, I still have a lovely bit of loose skin from pregnancies that likes to pretend it's fat. It's not, and after 8 years, I don't think it's going away. I notice this skin more when I am sitting, than when I am standing, especially if I am slouching.

    If the idea of losing more weight is really disheartening to you, why don't you take a break and maintain for a few months, maybe even through the holidays and see how you feel about attacking them later.

    You may also find that those last 8 pounds really make all the difference in the world. The smaller you get, the more noticeable each pound is. So definitely wait 'til you hit goal and reassess then. But whatever happens, try not to be discouraged. You have done a great job. And maintenance is lifelong. So if you spend the next 6 months losing and following 49 1/2 years maintaining instead of the next 2 months losing and the following 50 years maintaining, in the long run, it's not a big difference.

  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
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    Loads of us find ourselves in this predicament. Some resistance training will help you, as it has helped me and loads of others. Don't be scared by the term "lift heavy" It doesn't mean a mountain of weight, it means what is heavy for you. You won't get bulky and I suspect that like most who gain a little definition they are quite happy with the results

    On to the next stage , well done for getting this far. Most have given up long ago so don't forget how much you have accomplished