Dealing with diet sabotagers at work?

Havefaith163233
Havefaith163233 Posts: 6 Member
edited November 24 in Motivation and Support
This week several people in our office joined the Naturally Slim program through work. When I joined, I thought we could start our own support group and cheer each other on. Instead, one out of four of us are extremely negative and not even trying. I can't fathom why they ever joined. Every morning she comes in offering brownies, fried won-tons and today on the menu is biscuits and queso. When I see her coming in, I want to yell to stop bringing unhealthy food in but I've been biting my tongue.

Anyone out there dealt with this situation that can give me advice? I don't want to be rude and possibly cause a hostile work environment but I really don't want to see all that food being paraded around. On any given day I am a very positive person and am trying to remain that way.

Replies

  • TiberiusClaudis
    TiberiusClaudis Posts: 423 Member
    Not so much at work, but when I go to bbqs or social get togethers, I bring my own food...which is healthy. One time I brought tacos but instead of shells, I had lettuce leafs for a wrap. It was a big hit. So if you provide an alternative that is healthy, you'll be amazed how folks take to it...especially once they see you torching fat. Good luck!
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
    Well, I work in schools so it isn't uncommon to be offered treats. I just ignore them. It honestly doesn't bother me because I'm doing what I need to do. No one cares if I do or don't eat something that is offered to me. And you know what, sometimes I will partake! I just log it into MFP and accommodate accordingly.
  • rhyolite_
    rhyolite_ Posts: 188 Member
    There is nothing wrong with the foods you listed in regards to weight loss or health. You do not know what this coworker's overall diet looks like. I eat brownies, won-tons, egg rolls, chips, etc., and I've had no trouble losing weight. Maybe your coworker is negative because she thought that the rest of you knew more about nutrition, and she's discouraged to find that you have misguided notions about food.

    Most likely, the coworker joined but isn't quite ready to dive in yet. That's fine. Exclude her if you feel that strongly about it, but you WILL create a hostile work environment. What you need to do is learn self control and stop blaming another coworker for your own poor choices.

    My coworkers bring in food all the time that doesn't line up with my goals for the day. I just don't eat those things.
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    Being negative isn't necessarily detrimental to your weight loss. James Hill of The National Weight Control Registry has noted in his practices that having someone negative in a weight loss group can actually help.
    At the end of the day, there's always food out there in the world that consuming could wreck your calorie goals. It might be easier to get used to passing it up when the person is someone who should already be aware of your weight loss goal.
  • clh72569
    clh72569 Posts: 280 Member
    I have brought in healthy foods and snacks for me and everybody at work. I keep a stash in the work fridge, freezer, and my desk. That way it is a win-win for everybody. We all will have to make choices, and cannot control other people.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Everyone is going to react to this differently and you are at a different point than your colleagues. Recognize the kind gesture, politely refuse, and stick to your plan.

    Your goals are not her goals and maybe she's just not there yet. Stay positive!
  • Bry_Fitness70
    Bry_Fitness70 Posts: 2,480 Member
    The way that others eat at work has absolutely not effect on me. There is no need to be confrontational or hostile, just politely decline. My only exception is if someone brings in something to honor me, ie for a birthday or promotion, then I eat what they brought out of respect.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    Agree with everyone here. It'll take nerves of steel, but honestly just don't partake. If she's bringing stuff in and nobody devours it, she will stop but meanwhile, remember this is ultimately about YOU! Each person in your group is in the end, responsible to reach their own personal goals. Hang in there, politely tell her that, "no,thanks but it doesn't fit in with my plan"... You can only take care of you in this kind of situation, and you can!
  • unigirl143
    unigirl143 Posts: 126 Member
    I've had similar things happen to me. I just have to remember that there is times to indulge and times to keep on track. Believe me I've bumped into coworkers at the store and been asked where all my 'good food' is instead of the vegetables and fruits. At times like that you just have to laugh it off, all you can do really.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
    edited September 2015
    bw_conway wrote: »
    The way that others eat at work has absolutely not effect on me. There is no need to be confrontational or hostile, just politely decline. My only exception is if someone brings in something to honor me, ie for a birthday or promotion, then I eat what they brought out of respect.

    I decline even when it's my birthday. I just don't like cake, and that's usually on the menu. I've declined cake since I was 5 years old ;)
    I find that people really just want to celebrate in honor of you, regardless of if you're eating it or not, as long as you're not complaining about it or displaying some kind of negative emotion.

    ETA, I pre-plan my day and eat what I have planned.
  • I would like to respond to a few things posted here.

    "What you need to do is learn self control and stop blaming another coworker for your own poor choices."
    and
    "Maybe your coworker is negative because she thought that the rest of you knew more about nutrition, and she's discouraged to find that you have misguided notions about food."

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    I don't eat any of the food she brings in. I do politely turn it down. We are friendly towards each other and because I bite my tongue and don't say anything, we maintain a healthy work environment. I was venting on here to get it off my chest in order to maintain a healthy work relationship. I do know her eating habits because she tells everyone what she does and we share an office and we SEE what she does. I am not saying I am perfect. We all do things we shouldn't.

    I guess I am frustrated because she didn't even make it past the first day. I know this journey is about me. She has her own journey. I have been making better food choices and know that I have very little will power. I am trying to find more will power so she can do her thing and I can do mine. I did not post anything on here for people to point the finger and judge me. I needed to vent. Apparently that's not cool on this site so it will not happen again. I'll just pretend that I don't see or hear anything.

    Sorry if I bothered anyone with my original post.
  • And a special thank you to those that actually said positive things. I do learn from what others post on here. :smile:
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    I'm sorry, Havefaith, and hope my own response to your post wasn't sounding like an attack. I think we all were responding to limited info in original post but you have added more here.

    I get what you're saying about a group being formed to get healthy and lose weight and those who joined, are in it to succeed themselves while supporting each other... then there's that one. Sounds like she wants to be "included" but honestly doesn't have the determination to do the work or make the sacrifices that you others have and it sounds like you are handling it in the most appropriate and kind way that there is. She's not making it any easier on the rest of you in your group, and I can truly relate... Also the frustration of someone "talking the talk" and not getting on board from day#1 is frustrating! Hang in there and just keep doing the good that you are! Best to you.
  • maggiemay530
    maggiemay530 Posts: 123 Member
    P.S. Yes, best to vent your frustration on here rather than lose your cool at her. Wise choice!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Doesn't sound like sabotage per se, but just folks not on board, not ready to do the work that's needed.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    Wait, who eats biscuits with queso?! Clearly your coworker needs therapy! ;)

    I agree with others; each of you needs to be responsible for yourselves. It's unfortunate that she isn't helping the group stay motivated, but maybe try to reach out to the other three specifically and try for some positive interactions. Don't exclude the 4th member, but try focusing on staying positive rather than the one negative person.

    One suggestion is that if you're all on MFP here, you can create a private group and invite your coworkers to join. Sometimes it's easier to have a thread online so you can update each other, complain about obstacles, get advice, etc. even when you're not all at work.
  • AmandaAnne307
    AmandaAnne307 Posts: 113 Member
    Good points from everyone, I agree that you have to try and not focus on her offerings as sabotage. There are people that do things that aren't in your best interest, I used to work with someone that did something very similar - but instead of letting me turn things down she would bring me something (cake/cookie/some kind of carby goodness) on a plate and just leave it on my desk. It's SO hard to make good choices, especially when it's all around you!

    I've found it easier to bring in my own snacks that fit in my plan so I'm no AS tempted. Good luck - you can do this!
  • alias1001
    alias1001 Posts: 634 Member
    I once walked into my classroom to find stacks of pizza and coworkers saying that there was plenty of leftovers, and to please have some.

    I told them I already had lunch and politely declined. It was sure tempting, though.

    Others' choices are not yours. Until someone's ready to commit, let them do as they will.
  • 6502programmer
    6502programmer Posts: 515 Member
    edited September 2015
    Sorry if I bothered anyone with my original post.

    I think most people were trying to support you.. You are the one who owns what goes into your body. There's always going to be temptation to make "unwise" choices. Some will even be persistent in offering them. Don't take it personally, because it's not you. Sometimes, people see others making choices they know they should be making for themselves, and become insistent in driving others to make that same poor choice they're making. This isn't because they want to see others fail--It's because they don't want to fail alone.

    Yeah, it sucks when your co-workers bring in donuts and they're all over the lunchroom, with enough for everyone to eat three and still have leftovers. Sorry, but I'll stick with my 11-13 grams of protein in 2/3 of the calories from a Clif Bar. I have enough flavor choices that I can choose to eat what I want and not feel like I have to eat it because it's there. It's no fun to tell your co-workers, "Sorry, I'm not able to join over at the casino buffet for lunch." I was two weeks in and nowhere near ready to go there and do anything but head straight for the macaroni and cheese, bacon, ice cream, and all sorts of other bad decisions. I'm sure I get a good bit of judging when I claim to be watching calories and then go and get a big burrito bowl for lunch. I'm okay with it, because I know what's there, I've measured the quantities, and I know where it fits in my overall caloric and nutritional budgets.

    Have the confidence in yourself to be you and own your diet.

    As an aside, biscuits and queso? Yikes. I thought everyone knew biscuits are to be topped with gravy, and queso is to adorn tortilla chips (or flour tortillas, but only with chorizo as well). Can you imagine chips and sausage gravy? ewwwwwwww!
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    Just say no thanks and eat what you bring. Eventually, they'll get the hint. This is a case where it's ok not to be nice and 'try some'. You're working on doing what's best for you and not trying to control what she does does, right? So let her do her thing and you do yours. She's only going to sabotage you if you let her.
  • I love this comment! Hahahaha

    As an aside, biscuits and queso? Yikes. I thought everyone knew biscuits are to be topped with gravy, and queso is to adorn tortilla chips (or flour tortillas, but only with chorizo as well). Can you imagine chips and sausage gravy? ewwwwwwww!
  • Thanks everyone! This conversation has changed my attitude for the better!!
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    I try to bring humor to the situation. When someone on my team went on a diet recently and had an upcoming birthday I told everyone I would bring in my uncle's carrot cake (he's a remarkable chef). I did bring in a carrot cake for everyone else, but found a recipe for a carrot/hummus and shaped it into a slice of cake for my dieting colleague. She's a hummus junkie and it was delicious!
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    I try to bring humor to the situation. When someone on my team went on a diet recently and had an upcoming birthday I told everyone I would bring in my uncle's carrot cake (he's a remarkable chef). I did bring in a carrot cake for everyone else, but found a recipe for a carrot/hummus and shaped it into a slice of cake for my dieting colleague. She's a hummus junkie and it was delicious!

    If you're going that route, you need to do this:
    RevFullAsp.jpg

    http://sweetapolita.com/2012/01/how-to-make-an-asparagus-cake-a-tutorial/
  • mhollencamp102012
    mhollencamp102012 Posts: 165 Member
    I used to think people sabotaged my weight loss as well...then I realized..I am in control of me...and what I eat.. I am the ONLY one who can sabotage my weight loss...so she is negative and brings "bad" food to work....play her game...bring healthy food to work to share...a fruit tray or vegi tray...assorted meats . ..I bet more people would jump on the health wagon if the good food was available. Be an insperation and a leader to the others maybe they will jump on board...maybe not ..but the only one who can sabotage you...is you
  • pinkys008
    pinkys008 Posts: 55 Member
    You are getting good practice at a great skill that will help you lose and maintain for the rest of your life. Are you ready for this?

    Repeat after me: "No, thank you" and smile because you politely said what you meant and stuck to it.

    Eventually, yeah, people that like to share treats won't come your way. Now - you can't have it both ways! Don't get mad at people for not offering, once they start learning your new food preferences!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I'm responsible for my nutrition and my fitness...people bring in stuff to work all of the time...if i feel like it, i'll have something...otherwise, i won't. i am in control...there is no such thing as a diet saboteur...own it, it's all you.
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