afraid of....

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89GermanG
89GermanG Posts: 73 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm 5'2 and 181lb and even as a little girl I was always bigger than the other kids. When I look at myself I hate what I see. I'm trying to lose weight since I was a teenager. So now I lost 8.5lb and I'm afraid that I don't like myself anymore. I don't understand! I cry alot bc I don't like what I see and in school I got bullied alot but now since I finally start losing weight I'm afraid. Am I just used to beeing fat? Helppp!!!

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  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    I think you may need to seek professional counseling....
  • Eldow1977
    Eldow1977 Posts: 48 Member
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    I'm sure you've done a lot over the years to cover the fat, we've all done it, are you the loud fat person, the funny fat person, the recluse fat person, the one who makes fat jokes about themselves to show that we like being who we are when the reality is that we're not. As you said we get used to being fat and losing that makes you unsure of who you are going to be when you're done. The reality is you will be the same person. So you drop a few dress sizes and you pants as big as they once were but you'll still have the same heart. Add me if you wish.
  • 89GermanG
    89GermanG Posts: 73 Member
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    Not really, but I make jokes about myself here and there but not bc I like what I see more bc I want to hide how I really feel. I'll add you
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Weight loss is mental and emotional, not just physical. It's not uncommon for people to feel uneasy about weight loss, particularly if they have been overweight for a significant amount of time. It can be unsettling to not only see the body you are used to changing, but also deal with the changes in interpersonal relationships as you lose weight. Not to mention dealing with your relationship to self. I think it is ok to be scared, but if you find the fear overwhelming or that it is interfering with your life, then talking to someone might be a good idea. Change is known for causing stress, and there's nothing wrong with getting help working through it. :flowerforyou:
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
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    When I was younger, I abandoned losing weight, when I started to attract attention from the opposite sex. Being a sexual abuse survivor, wearing the fat suit felt safer for me. I hated my fat, but I couldn't abandon, what I saw as it's safety. The therapy, I had when I was younger, was not helpful. When I finally found the help I needed, I was in an unhealthy relationship, with three little children. The relationship is over, the children are almost grown but my health sucks. Long story short, it has taken me years, but I am finally ready to be the thin me, without fear. If the fear you feel is tempting you to abandon your quest for a healthier you, then seek professional help.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    I think you may need to seek professional counseling....
    Yes, start here.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    I think you may need to seek professional counseling....
    Yes, start here.

    Agreed.
  • momoharuno
    momoharuno Posts: 141 Member
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    I'm not saying this to be rude, I'm sincerely saying that if you are feeling such dislike for yourself and are in such a large amount of stress over this then you should consider looking for a mental health specialist who could help you. It is not a sign of weakness. You wouldn't let a wound on your arm fester, you would go to a doctor and treat it, do the same for your mind. I wish you the best of luck :)
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    edited September 2015
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    I agree with seeing a special therapist.

    You hate yourself because you're fat. You hate yourself because you've lost weight. I bet you'll hate yourself for some other reason later on. Because you have stretch marks. Because you have wrinkles. Because you have grey hair...

    Do you hate others for the way they look? If so, then you need to discover reasons to relate to people besides how they look. If you don't hate others for the way they look, why do you think that's a fair way to judge yourself and your worth to humanity?

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