Same introduction different story!!!

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Ikickedcancersbutt13
Ikickedcancersbutt13 Posts: 18 Member
edited September 2015 in Introduce Yourself
I know most of our stories start this way. We are all however unique and this is my story. I was born with a congenital heart defect that almost cost me my life on three separate occasions. I had my first open heart surgery at the age of 13 after almost dying from heart infection. It was unsuccessful and another operation was performed when I was 18 years old. I went to college and thought I would never have a family because of my heart defect. I was wrong I settle down got married and had a beautiful and miraculously healthy little girl. After giving birth my daughter I reach my all-time high 186 pounds. I was fat and miserable, stuck in an abusive marriage. I finally smartened up and divorced at the end of 2004. I started working again and lost about 30 pounds. Even though I thought it would never happen I found love again and remarried and had my second daughter who again was miraculously healthy. Things were good for a while and I lost weight, gained it back ,but lost weight when I want to and easily enough. I 2009 I was diagnosed with endometriosis and was told I would never have kids again which I was OK with. As I found out doctors were wrong and I was pregnant. This pregnancy was awful and I was sick and hospitalized throughout most of it. In 2010 at only 29 weeks gestation I was forced to give birth to a baby girl due to preeclampsia. I watch for month as she fought for her life. Ironically enough I didn't gain any weight I am sure it is because I was pumping religiously to feed my precious little girl. Praise Jesus we were finally able to bring our daughter home and be happy two weeks before Christmas 2010. Again I was able to lose and gain weight but when I wanted to lose it the pounds came off easily. In 2011, I was faced a huge blow when I was diagnosed with cancer. They said it was the good kind and then I was easily treated. Again doctors are wrong my thyroid cancer wasn't easy and it metastasized to where I need another surgery. Fast forward to two surgeries for cancer and two rounds of radiation later I am finally showing no evidence of disease status. So that is a little bit of my story. I now sit here at 170 pounds miserable and alone. I am not alone literally as I have my husband and my three beautiful daughters but I feel so much alone. I can't lose this weight no matter how hard I try!! I exercise, I eat right ,I lose some weight and then I get sick and it comes right back on. At this point my health is uncertain and we are not sure of my cancer has returned. I don't have control over that but I do have control over whether to emotionally eat, did I failed to mention I was an emotional eater since my aunt passed away last year? You're probably reading this and thinking OK here's another fat girl trying to lose weight, diet and exercise and it will come off right? Wrong! I have lost my motivation and that is why I am here hoping to make buddies to help hold me accountable and support me in my successes and failures. Thank you for listening to my story and I would love to hear some of yours!
Best wishes on your journeys!!

Replies

  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Your post touched me - but I'm not going to sit here and insult you by telling you how sorry I am for you - because you deserve more than peoples pity. I ADMIRE you. You are a strong woman and you must give yourself credit. The reality is, anyone can lose weight - yes it's hard but it's a simply science... Eat a calorie deficit.

    You on the other hand, have survived events I couldn't imagine ever having to live through. You are admirable and you are a fighter. With that kind of attitude, you can do absolutely anything (Yes, including weight loss).

    I will pray that your cancer has not returned. For now, that's all anyone can do. You, however - have to make some difficult choices in how you handle this horrible, uncertain time. You say you have a loving husband and wonderful children - let them be your strength and let them guide you through it. Food is not going to comfort you and stop this from hurting, your family will and your friends will. I hope that will help you stop the emotional eating which will in turn ease the pressure off your issues with your weight.

    The people of MFP will be here to help and support you whatever your goal may be. Wishing you happiness.
  • Ikickedcancersbutt13
    Ikickedcancersbutt13 Posts: 18 Member
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    Your reply touched my heart. Thank you for that :smile:
  • knowles1989
    knowles1989 Posts: 28 Member
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    PinkPixiexox wrote: »
    Your post touched me - but I'm not going to sit here and insult you by telling you how sorry I am for you - because you deserve more than peoples pity. I ADMIRE you. You are a strong woman and you must give yourself credit. The reality is, anyone can lose weight - yes it's hard but it's a simply science... Eat a calorie deficit.

    You on the other hand, have survived events I couldn't imagine ever having to live through. You are admirable and you are a fighter. With that kind of attitude, you can do absolutely anything (Yes, including weight loss).

    I will pray that your cancer has not returned. For now, that's all anyone can do. You, however - have to make some difficult choices in how you handle this horrible, uncertain time. You say you have a loving husband and wonderful children - let them be your strength and let them guide you through it. Food is not going to comfort you and stop this from hurting, your family will and your friends will. I hope that will help you stop the emotional eating which will in turn ease the pressure off your issues with your weight.

    The people of MFP will be here to help and support you whatever your goal may be. Wishing you happiness.


    I couldn't have said it better myself! Stay strong
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
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    Ikickedcancersbutt13 wrote: »
    I now sit here at 170 pounds miserable and alone. I am not alone literally as I have my husband and my three beautiful daughters but I feel so much alone. I can't lose this weight no matter how hard I try!! I exercise, I eat right ,I lose some weight and then I get sick and it comes right back on.

    At this point my health is uncertain and we are not sure of my cancer has returned. I don't have control over that but I do have control over whether to emotionally eat, did I failed to mention I was an emotional eater since my aunt passed away last year?

    Learn to log everything you eat & drink accurately & honestly. Logging will help you break the cycle of feel bad > eat too much > feel bad.

    Make a list of non-scale ways to make yourself feel better. If what you're feeling isn't hunger, then food won't make yourself feel better.

    What about doing active things with your three daughters? Teaching them a healthy lifestyle should be the best motivation of all. Take a walk, ride bikes, go swimming…
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Darlin, it sounds like you need to cut yourself a little slack, at least in terms of how you talk to and about yourself. You've been through a lot, and you deserve to be kind to yourself. It's great that you want to lose weight and be healthier! But don't beat yourself up if you can help it. Feel free to send me a FR, I'm always on here. We can do this togther!

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