Is LOVE worth fightin for?

it depends on the return on the investment.

not when only one person is fighting for it.

y'know, all that corny crap that we see on Facebook or embroidered and framed on other people's walls? That whole "if you love someone, set them free" business?

well, that garbage is a cliche for a reason...it happens to be true. generally, if you have to fight for love, you're doing it by yourself. if you're part of a team, you're fighting together. that's a different story.

but, i'm here to tell you...the words "fight" and "pay" are interchangeable in this sentence:


if you have to fight for it, it probably isn't worth it in the first place.

hamptontom wrote: »

if you have to fight for it, it probably isn't worth it in the first place.

This right here!!!

and, look - the truth of the matter is, if you're having to fight for it, then they're not invested nearly as much as you are anyway.

the relationship i fought hardest to keep (YEARS ago) was with someone that i knew, deep down inside, wasn't anywhere nearly as emotionally invested as I was. I lived in constant fear that she would bolt, eventually...

and i'll give you three guesses how that turned out.

tamyoki69 wrote: »

i think you cant unlove a person..

i'm not sure specifically what it would mean to "unlove" somebody, but here's how i find that it usually works - you get over them. your life evolves, days and weeks and months pile up, things happen, and a layer of scar tissue eventually builds up.

just like the loss of a parent or a falling out with a friend, once enough time passes you'll look at it through a different lens.

but - hey, look out for the clever MFP tie-in - just as with anything worthwhile (like losing weight and getting in shape), we may want instant gratification, but it takes time. and ESPECIALLY in this scenario, there is no bariatric surgery or liposuction that will give you what you want instantly. you're just gonna have to keep getting out of bed every day and let that scar tissue build up over the wound until the day comes that you can't even tell where the knife went in.

i know it sucks right now. BELIEVE me, i know better than you might realize.

but i also know that it gets better.

If both of you are fighting to save it, it may be worth it. If you are the only one fighting, ask yourself why. Why am I fighting for this individual who doesn't seem to care? Realize that you have incredible worth and you deserve to be happy. Don't cross an ocean for someone who won't even cross a puddle for you. If you are being yourself, and it isn't working, think about finding someone you can truly be yourself with. Someone who will appreciate you for the unique person you are. Someone who is a better fit.

As with any loss, you will experience grief, and you need to allow yourself to grieve. Maybe it hurts right now because some part of you is already starting to grieve the loss. Something important is possibly gone forever and your life will simply not be the same. You have to mentally prepare yourself to face a lot of really crappy days. Days where you sleep all day and the house goes to hell. Days where it feels even difficult to breathe. Days when you go to work, and somehow make it through but don't know how because all you remember doing is feeling totally depressed.

It gets better. Time heals. Just respect yourself enough to know that maybe, just maybe, he's not worth it.

nope