More reading, less posting....

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Schtroumpfkin
Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi,

I'm BACK after a long absence and I'm happy and motivated to be here as I am a big fan of MFP. I'm not going to tell you my story because you're not interested (and it genuinely isn't very interesting).

Having returned to MFP - I have been browsing around the site again, getting myself re-acquainted. As I did this, something struck me; all those blogs and posts where NOBODY has voted OR commented. I mean, NOBODY. Zero. How demoralising to be somebody who finally plucks up the courage to tell the world how they feel or describe something they have done, yelling out to be heard above the crowd, only to receive in response.....well....absolutely nothing. You may as well be talking to the wall.

If you have a story of your own which you would like to be heard (perhaps one you posted somewhere else, but got no response) then please feel free to reply with it here. I will do my very best to read and respond with my genuine thoughts. I'm not offering advice (I'm not qualified or clever enough to really give any), but I will at least READ what you have written.

HOWEVER...

...if I do respond (and this is the bargain), you must seek out a post, (even one you don't think looks interesting or immediately relevant to you), which currently has NO replies....and respond to the poster.

Good luck on your MFP journeys everyone and remember - more reading, less posting!

x

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Well I got nothing and I am neither clever nor interesting. I do, however, respond to many posts and I try to be encouraging.

    And good luck on your journey, as well :)
  • Eldow1977
    Eldow1977 Posts: 48 Member
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    Here here, well said. I've made two general posts since I started, things like "am I supposed to use most of my calories" and an exercise question. Think I got 3 replies to the first and 12 to the second. In between the two I had a full on diva strop about how my husband doesn't understand, oh and everyone wanted a piece of that, judging our relationship and my actions. 101 comments I think when all I needed was someone to say "Yeah we get it, they don't always understand" People are out there who need genuine support but if it ain't Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer (depending on your location) they ain't interested. We should all purposely look for the ones with 0 comments not just the hot topic of the day.
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    queenliz99 (or should I say ma'am) - you're obviously clever enough to realise that this is a community and to offer encouraging responses (or indeed any response) is a necessary part of it working for everyone. Therefore, Bravo! I salute you Einstein ;) x
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Welcome back :]
    Tell your story regardless. If it's important to you, get it out there. I wish you the very best of luck on your journey.
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    Ahahaha "If it ain't Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer they ain't interested" - genius. Yep, I agree - it can be the simple stuff, the "un-newsworthy" stuff that can knock us all off track sometimes (we don't all have to beat up our siblings on TV to express it). I think that's the benefit of being able to post online (and somewhat anonymously) about things like that rather than talking to (say) a friend. These little things can seem too insignificant or embarrassing to bring up in general conversation - but it doesn't mean we don't need to get them off our chest sometimes! All the best to you. x
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    Thank you PinkPixiexox (love the name by the way). Right now, I'm happiest NOT telling my story, but thank you for offering an ear. But, this isn't because I am some "Zen, holier-than-thou, I've-got-everything-sorted" person. No fear - when I feel the need to express my "full on diva strop" (as Elshe1977 put it...see above), (and I'm sure I WILL at some point), then I'll be here, ranting away and feeling a heck of a lot better because of it. I know the MFP community will be here when I need it. Thanks for adding your name to this post and therefore (implicitly) contributing to the "banish the 0 comment posts" campaign. x
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    and PS PinkPixiexox - I realise my original post was a bit cheeky, by saying (referring to the plural) that "YOU'RE not interested". That was meant to provoke people a bit and encourage them to read the entire post. I do realise (and you have proved it), that there are lots of very caring and responsive people on MFP who ARE interested. x
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    But there are a LOT of posts, though. It can be a bit hard to keep up with them all. Hopefully the users get some benefits just by getting their story out there, and knowing that hopefully someone somewhere is reading and maybe even encouraged, just knowing hey she's like me and we're doing this together, can be encouraging sometimes.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    But there are a LOT of posts, though. It can be a bit hard to keep up with them all. Hopefully the users get some benefits just by getting their story out there, and knowing that hopefully someone somewhere is reading and maybe even encouraged, just knowing hey she's like me and we're doing this together, can be encouraging sometimes.

    I agree. Sometimes people just read but don't comment. There's plenty of newcomers that just read thread after thread but are too scared to actually write anything. So even if a thread gets zero comments , its still more then likely that someone still took the time to read it. And it very well could've helped someone but they where too shy to speak up
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    But there are a LOT of posts, though. It can be a bit hard to keep up with them all. Hopefully the users get some benefits just by getting their story out there, and knowing that hopefully someone somewhere is reading and maybe even encouraged, just knowing hey she's like me and we're doing this together, can be encouraging sometimes.

    I agree. Sometimes people just read but don't comment. There's plenty of newcomers that just read thread after thread but are too scared to actually write anything. So even if a thread gets zero comments , its still more then likely that someone still took the time to read it. And it very well could've helped someone but they where too shy to speak up

    Hello JaneiR36 and thorsmom01 - I understand the points you are both making. But maybe you assume that all OP's get that warm fuzzy feeling knowing that they MIGHT have affected somebody out there. I'm sure there are many people out there for whom this is true. However, I believe the great majority would also quite like to KNOW that they made a difference (however small). If you sent me a bunch of flowers and I didn't ring you to say thank you - would you be happy in the knowledge that I "probably liked them"? ;)

    To JaneiR36's point - I'm not suggesting that everyone try to keep up with every post (however good MFP is, we all have better things to do!!) ;) - BUT while there ARE an awful lot of posts, there are also an awful lot of members. If every member looked for just one post that had zero replies just once a month, I reckon there would be a lot of happier OPs out there who didn't feel completely ignored. Those with 0 comments are in a minority after all (which probably makes them feel even worse)

    Re: thorsmom01 - I agree that there is a lot to be got from reading the posts of others (I read loads before writing my first reply, let alone my first OP). And I'm certainly not advocating "replying for the sake of it". I'm also not telling shy people that they MUST reply to posts. Not at all. What I am suggesting is that IF you see a post with 0 comments - (maybe from a week ago), give it a chance. You could make a connection that was otherwise missed and the OP might have it confirmed that their post actually meant something worthwhile. To use your own example - that same shy newcomer, who has been reading and reading and reading everyone else's posts might finally decide to open a discussion one day. How good will they feel if nobody responds?

    The important thing here is that I am not saying that you HAVE to do ANYTHING. These are just some thoughts and suggestions. If I have come across as sanctimonious or preachy, then I apologise. :blush:

    Best to both of you

    xx

  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
    edited September 2015
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    I'm not assuming that they get the warm and fuzzy feeling. I'm suggesting that they should consider it, based on factors they might not have realized

    I try to respond to 0 response posts, but on a different (and slower, LOL) sub forum

    I don't think you're preachy - great posts!
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    Schtroumpfkin wrote: »
    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    JaneiR36 wrote: »
    But there are a LOT of posts, though. It can be a bit hard to keep up with them all. Hopefully the users get some benefits just by getting their story out there, and knowing that hopefully someone somewhere is reading and maybe even encouraged, just knowing hey she's like me and we're doing this together, can be encouraging sometimes.

    I agree. Sometimes people just read but don't comment. There's plenty of newcomers that just read thread after thread but are too scared to actually write anything. So even if a thread gets zero comments , its still more then likely that someone still took the time to read it. And it very well could've helped someone but they where too shy to speak up

    Hello JaneiR36 and thorsmom01 - I understand the points you are both making. But maybe you assume that all OP's get that warm fuzzy feeling knowing that they MIGHT have affected somebody out there. I'm sure there are many people out there for whom this is true. However, I believe the great majority would also quite like to KNOW that they made a difference (however small). If you sent me a bunch of flowers and I didn't ring you to say thank you - would you be happy in the knowledge that I "probably liked them"? ;)

    To JaneiR36's point - I'm not suggesting that everyone try to keep up with every post (however good MFP is, we all have better things to do!!) ;) - BUT while there ARE an awful lot of posts, there are also an awful lot of members. If every member looked for just one post that had zero replies just once a month, I reckon there would be a lot of happier OPs out there who didn't feel completely ignored. Those with 0 comments are in a minority after all (which probably makes them feel even worse)

    Re: thorsmom01 - I agree that there is a lot to be got from reading the posts of others (I read loads before writing my first reply, let alone my first OP). And I'm certainly not advocating "replying for the sake of it". I'm also not telling shy people that they MUST reply to posts. Not at all. What I am suggesting is that IF you see a post with 0 comments - (maybe from a week ago), give it a chance. You could make a connection that was otherwise missed and the OP might have it confirmed that their post actually meant something worthwhile. To use your own example - that same shy newcomer, who has been reading and reading and reading everyone else's posts might finally decide to open a discussion one day. How good will they feel if nobody responds?

    The important thing here is that I am not saying that you HAVE to do ANYTHING. These are just some thoughts and suggestions. If I have come across as sanctimonious or preachy, then I apologise. :blush:

    Best to both of you

    xx

    What if they didn't make a difference? Or their blog just wasn't good?
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    Fair points everyone!

    Hi HappyCampr1 - I think you make a very good point. I agree that writing a blog can be a great way to clarify your own feelings. I often do the same via an email which I then delete (rather than send to anyone)!! There is obviously no way of knowing the difference between those who want a response and those that don't. My original post was actually offering to listen to those who specifically DID want a response but hadn't yet received one, so that was my attempt to offer an ear to those who specifically wanted one. I agree that the blogs are a bit hidden away. PLUS, by their very nature, they tend to be a lot longer and just take much, much longer to read, which I suspect is why a lot are left unread. Of course, on the flip side, this means that somebody took a lot longer (and more effort?) to write them.

    Hi 3dogsrunning - re: "What if they didn't make a difference? Or their blog just wasn't good?"

    HAHAHA - yep, not everyone is Shakespeare. If you feel this about it, then don't answer it! :) I'm not suggesting you be disingenuous.


    Hi UltimateRBF, re: "This, and additionally, not everyone blogs or posts for the attention of an audience." Again, I think this is a very fair point, especially re: blogs. It is a similar point to that made by HappyCampr1. However, I think that might be the difference between simply posting and being an OP. Surely if you start a discussion, it's to get a reply, isn't it? But maybe not. I can't assume to know the thoughts of everyone who writes here.

    Thanks for adding your thoughts.

    PS This thread seems to have been taken up by me sort of defending my original post - which I'm happy to do. But, ironically, that means I have spent more time writing than responding to any other posters or OPs, which wasn't really the point. Hmm - might have to agree that it hasn't really worked. ;)

    xxx

  • sakurablush
    sakurablush Posts: 104 Member
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    Eh, I have one blog post on here that's just my recording my losses and what I changed in way of diet, habits, exercise etc each month. No one's commented on it, and to be honest I'd kind of feel awkward if they did, lol, as its just my uninteresting info. I guess my point is personally I use this site as much for my mundane records as I do to chat or encourage people, and I'd assume some people do the same.

    I tend to read a few threads, but as I generally don't have any issues losing weight, exercising or questions I'd feel uncomfortable saying "no guys its fine! I've got this." Nor am I going to complain my boyfriend is un-supportive. Having said tha, the OTT, dramatic threads are fun to read.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    You know, even the 179th thread version of "I'm so afraid to go to the gym" gets a response here. The place is full of encouragement even with both the blog system and the forums being full of technical issues, search is ... suboptimal.

    The idea behind your post is sweet - but even when I had a blog post that I consider interesting and it gets zero response posts or likes - I'm not going to artificially come here and request input, it may just have missed the mark. That's ok, it is a learning process too. Writing for an audience is a social contract, if I want to expect to be read, I should write on subjects of interest or accept the low audience response or mix the two and balance writing for an audience and writing for myself.

  • PetiaIvailova
    PetiaIvailova Posts: 6 Member
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    There is other possibility - maybe some people here are like me - I can understand and read english relatively good, but if I have to write something, I'm very unsure and I even use Google Translate to check my posts. So - when I seek for inspiration, I can read many things, but I rarely comment ...
  • Schtroumpfkin
    Schtroumpfkin Posts: 123 Member
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    Yep, I get it guys. I get it. I'm signing off on the matter now.

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