Do you get support from your family?

Not really , I mean there are days that wohoooo Kary lost X lbs and I have my cheerleader squad but those are the exception , they are now at a point that nothing surprise them (I have being doing this for almost a year), they are convince that I'm going to get to my goal soon/someday , seriously I feel more support and like I belong in that aspect more here in MFP than my own family.

And I'm OK with that, it's hard at the beginning but down the road it's so much better because not trying to be cheesy , but it does makes you stronger, my weight loss is completely separate of whatever is happening at home, how they feel, what they eat, what they bring to the house, etc.

Yes I would love for my mom to take long walks with me , my brothers to eat a bit more healthy, and stuff like that, but it hasn't happen, but if it ever does, I'm def. Going to be there for them.

It makes my family a little uncomfortable, unfortunately. They don't understand it, and have weight to lose themselves. I try not to over talk about it because I notice my mother especially tries to ignore it.

I agree with what eeede said, maybe your family know they should eat healthier but aren't ready to make the change. Keep it up is the only advice I can give, your results could be the motivation they need

Good luck to you.

I've watched and listened to my husband's journey for 8 months and like eeede said, I wasn't ready. Sure I was proud of him, maybe a little jealous, but some days it seemed that was all he wanted to talk about and it got old. Now, I've logged on mfp for 3 days (it's a start) and gone to the gym the last two days. So give it time. They may act pissy, but you are providing a good example for them when they are in fact ready to make changes for themselves.

NeonStrikeVi wrote: »

I agree with what eeede said, maybe your family know they should eat healthier but aren't ready to make the change. Keep it up is the only advice I can give, your results could be the motivation they need

Good luck to you.

My family is also uninterested in this process. The good news is, here on mfp you will find people who are willing to listen and support you

Hi there. I do not get support like that from my family. I mostly have to fight with my husband so I can go for a walk bc he refuses to go with me. I have to argue for why I need foods I need. Thid has been a struggle for me! But I have to do it myself I would love to talk to him about it but he really doesn't care or notice my looks like hey that out fit you bought me doesn't fit me anymore (bc its falls off me) oh well tough I had to just get thick skin and say f this this is about me. Selfish? Yep I am bc who else is going to care about me if I don't? And yes I've been called selfish for wanting a walk and exercise and wanting healthy food.

so for a bit it really was transformative as he started to lose weight too but then went back to chips n soda. But as far as meals yep I cook 3 to four different meals every meal time so if she doesn't want to cook it then you can.

Yes, absolutely. My husband and I are doing this together, and he has actually lose way more weight. I do all of the meal planning and 95% of the cooking, but he is not complaining and is passionate about it too!

Extended family supports us for the most part. His sister had planned on getting us gluten-free burgers at a birthday party she hosted, and when I insisted that I would bring my own food she wasn't offended at all, she said she understood that I didn't want to deviate from what was working for us. We bring our own food when we visit his parents which isn't as big of a deal as it would normally be (Portuguese family, she is the type that cries if you dont have third helpings because it means you 'hate her food) as they aren't doing a lot of cooking right now as she has just finished chemo.

It's hard to argue what's clearly working.

I get about as much support as can be expected. I'm very lucky that I get any at all, so I do my best to foster it. I do my best to respect my family and not talk about it much (not every day, maybe a couple times a week), and they do their best to consider adding more vegetables to the refrigerator. Because I'm not financially independent, their support is crucial to me making any changes at all, so I try very hard to work with them, not against them.

Some things I've learned about not starting arguments/hurting feelings are:

1. If I'm feeling "hm not sure if I am up to/want to go to the gym/for a walk" they will for sure argue for the "no" position. I need to make that decision on my own.

2. I bring things up as "hm, I read this, it was interesting, what do you think?" rather than "oh my gosh I read this we have to start doing x RIGHT NOW". If it's their choice to accept or decline new information, they'll be much more receptive.

3. If I talk about something too long, like dietary iron, it's painful for them. It's my fault, and I need to apologize. This is NOT their journey, and talking about myself or my interests (even if it's not specifically me) too long is BAD conversation.

4. Getting backup from a professional is the best. For the longest time, my mom has held the view that 1/4 cup of peas is enough green things for one day. It's been years trying to change that, because I was too insistent/antagonistic (see #2). The most effective way was regularly speaking with a dietician, and getting literature and tips from her to bring back to my family.

5. I try to take it all on myself as best I can. I need to cook extra veggies but not get in anyone else's way in the kitchen. This may mean cooking at 9pm, and having my veggies as a goodnight snack. I can't take up too much space with meal prep. I can't take food allocated for other meals. If I eat "too many" cherry tomatoes, someone will get mad at me. If I whine about not getting enough exercise, or how I'm trying to reach a goal, or whatever - it WILL get on people's nerves! That's what the internet is for

I get support, I get the support I need - but I do not have a cheering section or a catering team. And I don't expect it. Everyone has their own path and their own food issues and their own health to consider. It's not up to you to change anyone else's mind beyond letting you do your thing - and do it quietly. I do sometimes think I'd get better results or be more efficient if I lived alone and was in charge of the shopping and everything. But the house would be so much messier, honestly. And I'd miss my family. Living with people is always hard, and a lifestyle change can stress this relationship. But the change comes from US, so WE need to monitor the disruptions and apologize and be humble. At least, that's my take on it. Best of luck!!

My family members all have different standards compared to mine since day one I started (more than a decade ago). I guess I'm only lucky that my brother is a PT and he understands the theories & techniques behind those moves and I can discuss the topics with him. Other than that, I still cannot share my success with him since his standards are, of course, way higher than mine (professional level, I guess). I tried to drag my sister into this, hoping that she can have a better lifestyle & workout habit. Unfortunately that didn't work too well (laziness won...).

None of my friends have the fitness standards and goals as the same level as mine neither, not even my boyfriend. So now I'm just happy that they come to me for advice if they need one (& I secretly imaging that they'll think me as their life-savor one day, lol) and I celebrate my victory with myself (in new clothes...)

Btw, I think this is the reason why MFP is addictive for me... because I find likeminded people here!

I have to say my partner is very supportive. We've been together 30 years, and he has seen me lose and gain 30-50 lbs at least 7 times over that time. He's never played "food cop" when I've gained, but he's always been thoughtful and supportive when I've tried to lose. He loves to cook--and largely cooks very healthy. He also weighs and measures his recipes so I can log them. He's a prince!

I'm sorry you're dealing with that! My husband is happy because I cook much more now... and it's pretty tasty!

Stick to your guns and don't give up. Tell her to make herself some food if she doesn't like what you're making.