193.4 as of yesterday. Wanting to resolve to keep going to 180s. People at work "you're too skinny!"

ElJefeChief · September 2015

Its sapping my motivation somewhat. But the fact is, in the 190s my BMI is in the upper limit of what is considered normal (e.g., it hits pretty close to the 25s). If I got to the low 180s, I would be midrange in terms of BMI and I would be much more comfortable to stop there and maintain… I think it would give me a nice cushion if the weight ever started to creep back up again, where I could have time to catch it and keep it down where it should be, in normal-BMI-land….

But I'm very conscious of people's comments. The fact is, I work in a fishbowl (a hospital), and I'm not exactly someone that can just hide in an office and do his work and be ignored - I'm one of the attending docs at a 100-bed hospital. I'm also over six feet tall. I'm out and about every day, at meetings, etc. Everyone comments on my weight loss, it seems.

I wish I had more confidence to just plow ahead and lose what I think is appropriate and ignore people's comments, but I'm human like anyone else.

jemhh · September 2015

I fully think you are wise to focus on your goal and not on what anybody else (coworker, family, etc.) says about it. People get used to how you look and when you lose weight it can look weird to them. I was thin until my mid 20s and then gained weight and started losing at 37. I have found that the people I knew before I was heavy tend to say comments like "you look so healthy/strong/great" while people who never knew me when I was thin tend to be more apt to think I am getting too thin. So just take their comments with a grain of salt, as hard as that may be to do.

Liftin4food · September 2015

It's your body. Your weightloss. Your target.

I've been called skinny twice in the last week by friends. I'm not. I'm anything but skinny (I'm almost out of the obese BMI category now!!), but I'm skinny compared to where I started out. And that's what they mean really (I think) - they have a picture of you in their head that looks the way you used to - and now you are much skinnier.

If your target is a healthy one, and you are happy with it, then who cares if they think you're even skinnier!!

queenliz99 · September 2015

Plow ahead!! People are not used to seeing you without your extra poundage, they'll get used to it. Just smile and wave

MKEgal · September 2015

First off, congrat's on your success so far!

When you meet someone for the first time, do they think you're skinny, or about right, or overweight?
The people you've known while heavy have a skewed view of you.
If your goal is within a healthy BMI range, and you aren't having health problems associated with being
underweight or malnourished, and you're feeling well, you're doing fine.

Looking at your profile pics, comparing the 2 in the black shorts & the first one, in the field, there's a big difference.
There's a big difference in what people can see - face, collarbones, lower arms & legs.
Your torso is smaller & more defined, but the change isn't as great & that's not visible to most people.
If they're thinking that you've lost weight equally from all over, then I can see where their concern comes from.
But we all know from experience that weight loss is not linear, nor is it even over the body.

Another thought: have you gotten new clothes for work, or had your old clothes tailored to your new size?
If your clothes are hanging off you you're going to look too small. (And sloppy, but that's a different discussion.)
Scrubs are more forgiving, if that's what you wear, but still... if you're used to grabbing the XL & now you should
wear a M, it's not going to fit right. Has your mental image caught up with the physical reality?

MKEgal · September 2015

One person I've known for maybe 8 years, always while I was way overweight, has told me twice now that I'm
just fine & should stop losing weight. I'm still 20 lb over the top of a healthy BMI, and at least 30 from my initial
goal weight, and _might_ consider as much as another 15 beyond that, which would put me in the middle of the
healthy BMI range. I think he's trying to compliment me (which is a little creepy, 'cause it's my ex-boyfriend's dad),
but I also realize that he's used to seeing me waaaay fat, & his wife is morbidly obese, so his perception is skewed.

OTOH, a friend I see every few months always has a great reaction!

I hadn't seen him for about a year, since before I started losing weight, and when I walked into his office with his
Christmas presents he actually did a double-take. He was expecting me at about that time, glanced up to see who'd
walked in, went back to what he was doing, then realized it was me. The look of astonishment was wonderful.
And the first thing he said, after "you look great!", was "how do you feel?".

Yes, eventually he asked how much I'd lost. But as you can see from my ticker & profile, I'm not shy about that.

.

hcs00 · September 2015

I think it's when people see you smaller than they're used to, they say things like that. And it's also how they try to compliment you. Don't take it as a harmful comment, even if it's not the most thoughtful!

chickiechickie · September 2015

Its sapping my motivation somewhat. But the fact is, in the 190s my BMI is in the upper limit of what is considered normal (e.g., it hits pretty close to the 25s).

When I reached 140, I was also at the upper limit of what is considered normal. I wanted to get to the 120's but everyone told me the same thing. My parents, who aren't healthy themselves, said I was going to get too skinny. My doctor, who is chronically obese, said he wouldn't lose much more and I was fine at 140. My first college roommates, both 300lb+, told me that I was already too skinny when I finally made it to 135 and that I looked better at 160 pounds! But then I got a trainer and I asked him what he thought of my goal to be 125, thinking he would tell me straight and if he agreed with everyone else, I'd think on it. He said for my height 125 is perfectly within my range, which is something like 119 to 143. I haven't reached it yet but it's still my goal. Listen to your own body, you know it best.

I really think that peoples' perception of normal is skewed towards unhealthy now so that anything smaller than themselves is viewed negatively. I also think there is often going to be an element of jealousy, too.

dubird · September 2015

As long as your goal is within a healthy range, then do your best to ignore them. They don't know what your body should be, and while they probably mean well, what you do is your business.

One thing that occurs to me, have you lost enough weight that you need new clothes? I know that when I was in that inbetween size and my clothes were baggy, it looked like I was too skinny even though I still had a little ways to go. By getting clothes that fit properly, it helped.

Traveler120 · September 2015

It's all relative. In this day and age of fat acceptance, such statements aren't to be taken literally. At 5'5'', 152 lbs, 32% body fat and BMI of 25.3, I was officially overweight but most wouldn't think I needed to lose weight. Now, at 125 lbs, 19% body fat and 20.8 BMI, I'm in the normal range but still have excess body fat and could stand to lose 10 more and still be at a normal BMI and feel at my best. I don't even bother to ask others' opinions.

wearmi1 · September 2015

It's your journey, who cares what anyone else thinks! Do what you feel is right for you and your goals. Being in a healthy body and state of mind is your concern and those who say things probably feel jealous of the progress you're making and they aren't.

193.4 as of yesterday. Wanting to resolve to keep going to 180s. People at work "you're too skinny!"

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