Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, very punny....

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got
> married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
>
> 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
> "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
>
> 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
>
> 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>
> 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under
> his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
>
> 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
> other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
>
> 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of
> Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well,
> It's Not Unusual."
>
> 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
> Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I
> don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy."
>
>
> 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids
> were nothing to look at either.
>
> 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull
> before.
>
> 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
> but I couldn't find any.
>
> 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
> accident. He shouted,
> "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor
> replied, "I know you
> can't - I've cut off your arms!"
>
> 13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a
> mussel.
>
> 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
>
> 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to
> the other and
> says "Dam!".
>
> 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
> lit a fire in
> the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
> that you can't
> have your kayak and heat it too.
>
> 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
> and were standing
> in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
> victories. After about
> an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked
> them to disperse.
> "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he
> said, "I can't
> stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
>
> 18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
> One of them goes
> to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other
> goes to a family in
> Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a
> picture of
> himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture,
> she tells her
> husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
> Her husband
> responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
> seen Ahmal."
>
> 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of
> the time, which
> produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He
> also ate very
> little, which made him rather frail and with his odd
> diet, he suffered
> from bad breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so
> bad, it's
> good).... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
> halitosis.
>
> 20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty
> different puns to
> his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns
> would make them
> laugh. No pun in ten did.