Worried...

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awildmiri
awildmiri Posts: 18 Member
edited September 2015 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I've been 'maintaining' for a month or so now - that is, I've hit goal weight, but I keep losing because I get anxious about eating 'too much' now. Even though logically I know it's fine, I've lost another four or so pounds since hitting goal weight and I still get antsy about eating more than 1,000-1,200 a day (what I was eating when I was losing). I'm actually finding I'm more paranoid about what I'm eating than I was when I was losing, I guess because I was sure of having that 'safety net' of knowing I was eating at a deficit before?

Whenever I go out for a big meal with friends or something I end up trying to compensate throughout the rest of the week and end up eating barely the minimum calories for days, over-compensating I guess especially because there's no way to log a meal out accurately...

I don't need to lose any more - I'm still within the green BMI, but on the lower end now, and I don't fit into even the new clothes I bought recently - but the thought of not logging or of putting any weight back on (even if I could stand to put a couple of pounds back on) makes me really anxious. Basically I'm really worried that I've worked myself into, if not an eating disorder, then at least an unhealthy relationship with food, and I don't know what to do. Is this something anyone else has dealt with, and what do you recommend?
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  • SeanNJ
    SeanNJ Posts: 153 Member
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    I would recommend eating at maintenance, but still logging and weighing yourself to stay accountable. Once you can manage to do that for a few days and realize that your weight isn't going to sky-rocket back up, I think you'll be a lot more comfortable.

    If you can't, then I'd recommend seeking professional help.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    You need to let your logical mind take over from your emotions.
    If you are still losing a pound a week you are c.500 calories under maintenance daily. You must logically know that a single big meal is irrelevant (in fact beneficial right now!) and you must also know your deficit cannot continue indefinitely.

    Unless you can start walking up your calories very, very soon I would second the advice to seek professional help sooner rather than later. Speaking to your family may be a good first step.

    A simple mental trick is to regard your maintenance calories as your diet goal - try to hit it not undercut it though.
    So you keep your "control" until over time you feel you can relax and enjoy your success.

    Remember health is paramount, that's mental and emotional health as well as physical health. If you were my daughter I would be very concerned.
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    Your concerns about possibly putting on weight when switching from losing to maintaining are common. We've all had to make that switch, and most of us have made it successfully. You can, too.

    Also, if you haven't, establish a goal range for yourself, not a goal weight (e.g. 120-125 pounds, instead of 120 on the nose).
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
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    @sijomial has some great advice. I don't have much more to add, but you seem to be heading down a rabbit hole. Try to heed the advice given here as soon as possible.
  • Patttience
    Patttience Posts: 975 Member
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    I think you should consider talking to either a dietician who may have worked with people with eating disorders or a psychologist who has experience with eating disorders.

    I'm not saying you have an eating disorder but you anxiety level is something that you should address. Is there anything else going on in your life that's causing your such anxiety?

    This might all work out with just time but you don't want a new pattern unhealthy behaviours taking over.

    I think you need ot learn to wean yourself off logging calories. You could start by just keeping a food diary with not calorie counting. Continue measuring your food. This is what i have done for most of my journey and i've been in maintenance for quite a while along with daily or frequent weighing.

    The thing is your weight will fluctuate all the time. And going up a few pounds isn't the end of the world becuase you will pull yourself up and get back down again. This is what i've been doing since i "almost" reached goal weight .

    When i started I said to myself, i want to get rid of this fat and i never want to get fat again. So far so good. This message to myself has kept me in charge and I'm really pleased iwth the way things have been working for me. BEfore all this, my weight had always been very up and then very down. Now its just down and sometimes only a little bit up.

    It may take you time to work this out but anxiety about it, is not going to help. Find ways to be a bit more relaxed about your eating style but not to the point of going back to where you were when you started.
  • rhtexasgal
    rhtexasgal Posts: 572 Member
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    I second the advice of having a goal range rather than an actual number. I had the same fears you have and for a few weeks did the same thing. However, I continued to log and exercise to give myself a measure of control and after a few weeks, I decided to eat back about 75-80% of my exercise calories. Not only did I feel better but I did not gain weight. As a matter of fact, I have been "gaining and losing" the same pound for the last six months which means I am doing what I need to do and still maintaining. You've got to get past that psychological block and live with the new you. You already know now that you have the tools and ability to lose weight. Trust in the CICO ... if you feel guilty for eating and going over calories for one meal, compensate and go an extra 30 minutes of cardio the following day. Just don't go overboard restricting your calories because it is not healthy.
  • mnfarmgal
    mnfarmgal Posts: 35 Member
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    Could you try to just up your calories a little, like say 100 calories daily for a week at a time.. just to work yourself up to your maintenance level.. then it wouldn't seem like you are all of a sudden making a big jump upwards calorie wise. I know it's not hard for me to add 100 calories a day.. maybe a glass of milk or mayo on your sandwich will cover it without making any drastic changes to your routine at this point.
  • awildmiri
    awildmiri Posts: 18 Member
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    Thanks everyone.

    I think my problem is that even though I have tried to think of a 'goal range' (ie i knew my goal was 8st7lbs, so my range would be 8st5lbs-8st8lbs) I have trouble not thinking in absolutes generally - I'm quite an 'all or nothing' person! So while I never panicked when I hit the scales and found I'd 'gained' a pound while I was losing because I knew full well I was logging everything and it was just sodium bulk or something, I feel like if I did the same when I wasn't logging I wouldn't be able to rationalise it - even just for a pound or so that was still very much 'in range'. If I give myself a range, I know I'll expect to be at its lowest point or I'll feel as bad as if I was out of it. Then again, maybe I wouldn't and the fear is worse than the reality would be? I try to look at the pictures of myself at goal weight and remind myself that that's four or five extra pounds rather than my mental image of myself back at nearly 11st, but my subconscious doesn't seem to want to listen to my conscious.

    I don't know if it helps or not that I've just moved house to somewhere without a bathroom scale, so I can't monitor my weight using that. I should just go by my jeans fitting is how people have said it to me in the past, but again it's just breaking the habit of twice-weekly weighings that I was in, I guess. Should I buy a scale?

    Everyone's been really great and helpful in this thread, thank you. <3 If it gets really bad or hasn't gotten better in a few weeks, I'll look into a dietician, but hopefully I can get past this weird mental block soon enough without needing it.
  • beewize2
    beewize2 Posts: 17 Member
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    You are 100% normal. I was the same way when I goal. I didn't want to be the guy who gained it all back. But I learned (and so will you) to maintain. The difference between lose mode and maintenance is zero. Don't get tied to the tracker (I know it's hard). You have learned a lot more on this journey than just tracking calories.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    An alternative to a goal range is an upper "intervention weight".
    Similar to having a range it takes away the frustration of trying to manage normal daily/weekly/monthly fluctuations that really can't/shouldn't be micro-managed.

    So you could maintain "around 8st 7lbs" but have 8st 10lbs (or higher) as your upper intervention weight where you would consider a temporary deficit. Just another way to take away some of the stress and increase the number of days you feel content.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    Get a scale so you KNOW what is happening with your weight. Just be aware that a new scale might be a couple of pounds different from the one you were using before.

    You already have this skills you need. Just transfer everything you did and learned during weight loss to maintenance mode:

    You will continue to have water weight fluctuations in maintenance, so don't let that worry you. You might need a goal range of more than 2 pounds to accommodate the water weight fluctuations.

    Continue to weigh twice a week. That way any potential gains won't take you by surprise. If you are at a higher weight for more than 2 weeks, cut back 100-200 calories a day.

    Continue to log your calories. Just as in losing you knew that if you carried a deficit you would lose, in maintenance you can know that if you keep your calories within x range, you won't gain.

    Maintain your activity & exercise level.

    You can do this! Good luck!!
  • sweetiepie781
    sweetiepie781 Posts: 75 Member
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    I am trying to maintain and I feel exactly the way you do I was at my goal and continued to go down every week I tried to up my calories but then I feel guilty thinking I am eating too much I guess after being disciplined for so long and sticking with the same foods and daily routine I am finding very difficult mentally to change and am always left with torturing myself mentally/ emotionally I definitely think it was easier losing and maintaining is a struggle for me ..you can add me as a friend if you ever want to chat since I think we are struggling in the same area hope you can figure it out :)
  • avatiach
    avatiach Posts: 291 Member
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    If a scale will help you be less anxious, by all means get one!
    Also some people set up a "green" "yellow" "red" system. When they are in their "green range" they eat what they want--go up to yellow, they are more careful--hit red, go to full diet mode.

    If you stay very anxious about this or keep losing weight, go see someone for professional advice (nutritionist, doctor, counselor...)
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
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    Some great advice already here... you need to eat at maintenance,have a goal range of =/- say 5lbs and weigh yourself regularly - all will be well :smile:
  • ExRelaySprinter
    ExRelaySprinter Posts: 874 Member
    edited September 2015
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    awildmiri wrote: »
    I don't know if it helps or not that I've just moved house to somewhere without a bathroom scale, so I can't monitor my weight using that. I should just go by my jeans fitting is how people have said it to me in the past, but again it's just breaking the habit of twice-weekly weighings that I was in, I guess. Should I buy a scale?
    Yes, definitely buy some Scales.
    My Jeans still fit me OK even if i put on 4 or 5 pounds - so i don't really go by that.
    Good Luck with it all! :)
  • Sam101my
    Sam101my Posts: 128 Member
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    You described what I am experiencing perfectly. I felt like I was reading my story. I recently hit 125 and am now at 122 because I too am anxious about gaining. I used to weigh almost 200 pounds and I am scared to go back. I read what people wrote and this has helped me. Thank you, thank you for posting this.
  • Sam101my
    Sam101my Posts: 128 Member
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    Add me as a friend. I think we can help each other. Anyone else in the same boat..feel free to add me as well.
  • asternpirlot
    asternpirlot Posts: 10 Member
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    I have found that the 'traffic light' system works well for me, and I even have an amber range for too low. So in my green range (5lbs range), I stick to maintenance calories, and if I go into the low amber range, I eat a lot until I'm back in the green range. So far I haven't been in the upper amber range yet so this method is working to keep me from gaining or losing too much (again, so far--it's only been a couple months). I've been in the lower amber range a few times, and find it's pretty easy with just a few big days of eating to get back into the green. This has helped me see that a few big meals or high calorie snacks isn't going to do me in. I do weigh daily and very much like having the data, so I also recommend getting a scale so you can see what's going on. Good luck with your maintenance and great job getting to this point!
  • BernieMBurke
    BernieMBurke Posts: 206 Member
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    asternpirlot wrote: »
    I have found that the 'traffic light' system works well for me, and I even have an amber range for too low. So in my green range (5lbs range), I stick to maintenance calories, and if I go into the low amber range, I eat a lot until I'm back in the green range. So far I haven't been in the upper amber range yet so this method is working to keep me from gaining or losing too much (again, so far--it's only been a couple months). I've been in the lower amber range a few times, and find it's pretty easy with just a few big days of eating to get back into the green. This has helped me see that a few big meals or high calorie snacks isn't going to do me in. I do weigh daily and very much like having the data, so I also recommend getting a scale so you can see what's going on. Good luck with your maintenance and great job getting to this point!

    I really like that. Once I get to my goal weight, I think I'll employ a similar method.

    Thanks!
  • SandraSutherland1
    SandraSutherland1 Posts: 3 Member
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    Hello to everyone!

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