Binging/overeating when not hungry
Inglebert
Posts: 34 Member
Hello.
Or I should say Hello again.
I've been overweight for the last 9 years. I am carrying about 50% more body than I should - 95 kg instead of about 60kg. I feel dreadful about my shape and size, it physically gets in the way of things I want to do - I was always a sporty person.
So. I have been 'trying' to lose it over the years. Any of the ways I try work for about 8 hours then I overeat/binge. Every day.
I binge/overeat because I am overwhelmed, sad, angry, lonely, happy, alone for a minute, alone for a car journey, sad to be overweight. The weight is cause, symptom and result of the eating.
How do I get over this, break through this? I want to eat healthy, cleanish. I want to run and row and swim (I fail to stick to this past 3 days also as it all feels so hard). My life is uber-busy with 3 kids (9-13 all very slim), other half away a lot (he's very slim, fit, eats great, runs every single day and getting quicker at 41), so I have to hold the fort and skip my things ( yes, I hear the whinge in my tone there too), and we live 20mins drive in different directions to school and work. We both work full time too. Me in sedentary job.
It's my head I have to sort. Any ideas how?
Or I should say Hello again.
I've been overweight for the last 9 years. I am carrying about 50% more body than I should - 95 kg instead of about 60kg. I feel dreadful about my shape and size, it physically gets in the way of things I want to do - I was always a sporty person.
So. I have been 'trying' to lose it over the years. Any of the ways I try work for about 8 hours then I overeat/binge. Every day.
I binge/overeat because I am overwhelmed, sad, angry, lonely, happy, alone for a minute, alone for a car journey, sad to be overweight. The weight is cause, symptom and result of the eating.
How do I get over this, break through this? I want to eat healthy, cleanish. I want to run and row and swim (I fail to stick to this past 3 days also as it all feels so hard). My life is uber-busy with 3 kids (9-13 all very slim), other half away a lot (he's very slim, fit, eats great, runs every single day and getting quicker at 41), so I have to hold the fort and skip my things ( yes, I hear the whinge in my tone there too), and we live 20mins drive in different directions to school and work. We both work full time too. Me in sedentary job.
It's my head I have to sort. Any ideas how?
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Replies
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Honestly you sound like you have a potential eating disorder. I'd see a doctor and ask for a referral.-1
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Are you getting enough sleep? Consider getting some help around the house, esp with your OH away a lot. Teach the children to get more involved in cleaning.0
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Sorry I wrote a great big reply and most of it disappeared!!!0
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Thank you all for your comments, it's good to get other views, thanks for your time.
I'm not putting myself last, I'm really not. Offensive comment about 1950s, so not how it is, but you can't know that. Kids do lots, they and other half really pull their weight, if anything, I don't. That's why when he's away there's a lot more to do. Cleaning not an issue, we have very low standards, life is not for cleaning!
Bang on with sleep comment though, and I'm trying to get more. Been using a Fitbit since June, which evidences what I already knew, I average 5-6 hours, targeting 7. This could make a huge difference shouldn't it? I also have a well-controlled underachieving thyroid, in fact probably slightly over-corrected I think at the moment. So this should not have an impact, but it is what kick-started my weight gain.
Yes, I know it's an eating disorder, but small community, hard to talk to GPs. Might try though.
Not having a go here, but a comment like "nobody else is going to do it for you" just makes me want to crawl back to bed. I know it's all down to me.0 -
Don't get mad with me, get mad with yourself. Go to bed, and sleep well knowing you've got this. You can sort yourself out. You can do it!0
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I used to binge like that, and honestly, sometimes I slip up and do anyway, although nothing like I used to. I seems to just get into the frame of mind that said, I have to stop or I'm going to be unhappy the rest of my life. I'm not perfect, and I know I could still quite happily binge, but I don't keep any of te stuff I used to binge on in the house anymore. It's the only thing that works for me mainly.
Sometimes, at night if I'm feeling like that I get on my exercise bike. I find it distracts me from eating and also it helps me sleep easier doing some exercise before bed.
Good luck. If you want to do it, you can!0 -
Orphia, I'm not mad with you, and getting mad with me would make me eat! But I agree, I can do this. It's just been a tough week and I've munched my way through.
Osiris, those are comforting words. I have a waterrower and treadmill, so I need to take your advice on substituting those for eating. I have so many other things I should do but tbh I don't get them done anyway so more rowing/running will help everything.
I need to not beat myself up, but work harder at eating the right stuff, doing the exercise I want to. I love the sports but am so overweight I am pitiable. Will not take long to change that if I can only stick at it for a few weeks.0 -
Rahr! I'm a tiger! Will report back here how I'm doing if you are interested... Hoping it might help me. And maybe others ashamed of similar behaviour.0
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You don't have to go from zero to running a marathon overnight. Just start with small reasonable goals one at a time.
Maybe start by committing to sleep 7-8 hours per day and drink 8 glasses of water. Then two weeks later add a commitment to walk 10,000 steps per day. Then two weeks later start tracking your food intake. Etc.
The comments from you that most concerns me is when you keep pointing to food as your coping mechanism. If you're sad, you eat. If you're stressed, you eat. Food is not the only coping mechanism. Yes, it's the one you've been using and it takes time and commitment to change that. If you do get a chance to talk to a specialist, I think they can help you with this. Food doesn't have to be the only solution you turn to. Ask other people what they do when they feel the feels. Try their strategies. Maybe one will work for you, too.0 -
Bang on with sleep comment though, and I'm trying to get more. Been using a Fitbit since June, which evidences what I already knew, I average 5-6 hours, targeting 7. This could make a huge difference shouldn't it? I also have a well-controlled underachieving thyroid, in fact probably slightly over-corrected I think at the moment. So this should not have an impact, but it is what kick-started my weight gain.
I have a Fitbit + Hashimoto's (autoimmune thyroid disease). And I struggle to get enough sleep.
Deprivation can lead to bingeing, so I eat "good" 80% of the time and fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into my calorie goal every day. Setting your goal too aggressively can also lead to bingeing. Your Fitbit burn is TDEE (total daily energy expenditure), the calories necessary to maintain your current weight. Set your goal to .5 lb. per week for every 25 lbs. you're overweight: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/change_goals_guided and enable negative calorie adjustments: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings
This may sound naff (cheesy), but it helped me so much: Eliminate negative self-talk. Treat yourself at least as kindly as you would an MFP friend. When you binge, log it accurately & honestly—then let it go. Logging helps break the cycle of feel bad > eat too much > feel bad. Make a list of non-food ways to make yourself feel better. (Mine includes guilty pleasure TV, walking outdoors, and getting a massage.) Self-care is really important.0 -
Thanks guys - wbb55 - I do more than that already, minimum of 10,000 steps a day, usually 13-15,000, over 20,000 once a week or so. I run 2-3 times a week (until I stop completely for a week or 2). Agree completely with coping comments, was really hoping to hear from people who were like me but grateful to hear from anyone.
Editorgrrl, thanks for friend request, you seem really focused! Absolutely right that I need to talk positively to myself. I also need some really short term goal setting. I've never logged a binge properly, yet I've avoided having real life mfp friends so I can be honest in logging. I do need to break my dependence on the binge.
Rest of life going well this week, so good to resolve and enact. We've booked for whole family to go to Latvia in May for half- marathon for husband, and 10k for the 3 girls and me. 2 of the girls keen (they do parkrun), 1 not so much. This is a challenge for me and I want to do it in reasonable style. So I have set myself an 8 week running prog to get 5k going better by the end of the year. My friend has started running recently so I need to use her to keep me going too! I've got her running and she's racing away with it! I'm committing yo logging properly this week too. Thank you!0 -
I'm 180 lbs trying to get to 151lbs again0
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mindless snacking is also my problem so a few things that work for me most the time
i know you said cleaning isn't a high priority for you but could you use it as a displacement activity instead of eating? so if your about to snack set yourself a goal to do x amount of hevy cleaning first, best case scenario it will take your mind off of food long enough to take you nearer to a meal time so you don't snack, worst case you clean then snack anyway but at least the cleaning burnt off a few calories and took a bit of time so you may only have 1 snack not 2! with regard to snacking in the car ,I make it a rule no food or drink in the car ( unless on the way back from the supermarket) so if I want to go and get a takeaway I have to park and walk in, often this is enough to stop me, if I fuel at the garage and buy and food I have to eat it before I get back in the car ect. a bit like a recovering alcoholic try not to put yourself in situations that you know will be hard so if walking the school run I cant take my wallet or I tend to stop at the shop for ice cream for the kids and me, no money no chance of stopping so the kids get theres when we get in and I only buy the ones im not keen on. hope you find ways to cope and improve it does take time but it can be done if you take it step by step and dont make a big deal over every slip up instead celebrate each snack you successfully avoid. 0 -
Seems you have a relationship with food that yields unhealthy behavior
It is a "relationship" issue.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots have that sort of thing. Please consider talking with a professional to see how you can regain control of food
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We've booked for whole family to go to Latvia in May for half-marathon for husband, and 10k for the 3 girls and me. 2 of the girls keen (they do parkrun), 1 not so much. This is a challenge for me and I want to do it in reasonable style.
Like @KittensMaster, I think it's so important that you build a healthier relationship with food. Please be a healthy role model for your daughters! (I'm so grateful to my mother for keeping a vegetable garden, taking us to pick-your-own orchards and berry farms, and making us walk after dinner.)
For me, the key was to get 100% honest with my logging. It took months—even though my diary was private. Like exercise, the more you do it the better you get at it. Logging is simple, but it ain't easy. Logging works.0 -
9 times out of 10 when I'm hungry and binging, I'm really thirsty. I drink a glass of water and then re evaluate my hunger 30 minutes after. It's really helped me with my binge eating.0
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Therapy, exercise, and yoga have helped me tremendously with emotional eating.
How Yoga Can Help End Binge Eating
One breath at a time, end the suffering of binge-eating
...According to Juliano, yoga gives people the skills to stay with what they are feeling, rather than turning to food to escape. People who are obese or suffering from eating disorders have a tendency to dissociate from their bodies -- to choose not to feel what they are feeling when they are angry, anxious, or sad. Often, they turn to food to numb themselves. "There's this sense that I have to feel better right now, " Juliano says. "There is a complete intolerance of what is happening right now." This need to escape unpleasant feelings triggers a binge.
When you eat to escape what you are feeling, you lose touch with the experience of eating, as well. This is one reason binges can spiral out of control. "You have no understanding that you are full, way past full, into uncomfortable, because you're so out of it," Juliano explains. "You have no connection to what you're eating. You're eating a pint of ice cream and can't even taste it. Or you go to make yourself some toast and before you know it, half the loaf is gone."
Mindful yoga directly challenges the habit of dissociating from your body and your present-moment experience. "The whole point of yoga is to stay connected to your body. You learn it through practice, through breathing, and through breathing through the sensations."
Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201007/how-yoga-can-help-end-binge-eating
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I'm right there with ya Hun. I'm a big time binger and emotional eater. It's nothing for me to consume 15k+ calories on some days. My binges can be a single meal to sometimes weeks or even months. For me what helps is keeping my mind occupied. Whether it's cleaning, reading, working on my house, yard work etcetera. Pretty much anything that keeps the thoughts troubling me out of my head. Music helps too. I listen to a wide variety depending on my mood and head. Getting out in nature helps keep me grounded. I'm blessed to live fairly close to a beautiful park. I try at all costs to avoid trigger foods. I personally think my head will always be a hot mess.0
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...So. I have been 'trying' to lose it over the years. Any of the ways I try work for about 8 hours then I overeat/binge. Every day.
If you would make your diary public I could give you more meaningful feeback http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/diary_settings > Diary Sharing
I'm wondering if you are restricting yourself too much in those first 8 hours and/or eating foods that do not satisfy you: http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html0 -
I'm not here to judge you!
Let's start with a hug...
Okay:
A) start small... really small. Drink an extra glass of water. Walk a little more than usual. Track & observe. You need to see your own dips & bumps.
sleep is key, but you may need some new rituals to get back to health there. Think about a healthy sleep ritual.
C) your eating/bingeing sounds emotionally driven. Here's a thought: it's not at all about the 1000 and one things you ARE doing; it's more about what you won't let yourself admit/say/feel/do. General 'busy-ness' sounds so much more palatable, no? But my guess is that this is more driven by anger or grief or anxiety or loss than you might care to admit to yourself. Can you pre-portion your next binge? Maybe just knowing it's there, packed like an earthquake go bag will keep you from needing to eat it. Maybe the next time you binge you cut the amount by one third, then one half... Practice small restraints & applaud yourself. They can be a path toward bigger ones.
D) could you use more fats in your regular food? Fats = satiety. Can you reduce sugars even modestly? In some people excess sugars can trigger binges.
E)know that you CAN turn this all around. You may not know the specifics yet but you can commit to this work. You are 1000% better than this. Your most terrible shame can be turned inside out & function as your deepest strength! That is in all of us.
F) find friends. Here. In real life. Wherever. Laugh and dust yourself off when you stumble because you will.
xo0 -
Sorry! I missed the part where you talked about how active you already are! I'm that way: I call myself fit-fat! I can easily keep up with everyone on a 10 mile hike at the drop of a pin but still don't lose weight. That's a CICO problem, plain & simple, at least in my case. I have to think of calories like money. I have a budget & I can't go over. Overeating is like credit card debt. I'll have to work twice as hard to pay it off. Recording & seeing what I'm eating helps me. Keeping sugars low helps me by retraining my palate. Eating plenty of healthy fats helps me feel full at the appropriate times. I also don't keep convenient versions of food around. If I want fries, well there's a potato. I'll need to peel, mandoline, fry and then clean up after those fries! Craving a sweet? Here's a bowl of apples; knock yourself out girl! I try to use every silly little trick in the book and see what happens. Everybody is different. You'll find what works for you. Yesterday I went to my absolute favorite annual United Orthodox food fair & I bought everything I generally eat at one sitting but I had them package two thirds of it up as carry away. I couldn't believe it but I really was full after that first bit! You CAN teach your old appetite dog new tricks!
xo0 -
Have you heard of intuitive eating? It helps you work past some of the emotional baggage and work on eating healthy amounts and using other methods to deal with stress, anger, sadness, boredom, etc.0
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I suggest reading "the Beck Diet Solution" by Judith Beck. It is not a diet plan, but a step by step process that helps you learn to think about your eating behaviours and make the necessary changes.0
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You might also get checked for sleep apnea. Sleep apnea can lead to weight gain as one is too tired to exercise and eat sugar to stay awake.
I had to get counselling to deal with the underlying emotional issues I was medicating with food. Until I did that I had no success.0 -
I am also a big Beck Diet Solution fan. She is a big fan of a two week planning period before making any big changes in your life, changing your negative self-talk into more useful thoughts (it is based on cognitive behvioral therapy techniques) and setting small, attainable goals. It is about getting off the yoyo dietinf for good and is full of good, practical strategies to make any changes you try more successful. She also has some very insightful and useful things to say about comfort eating.0
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I understand your situation and everyone on here gave good advice but I would suggest to talk professional (therapist) you had a lot on your hand that is very stressful. I feel there are other things that bother you beside what you are telling us but that's okay its not for us to know. Good Luck and hope everything work out for you0
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I know exactly how you feel with the binge eating when you're not hungry. I used to eat entired batches of brownies by myself. I would sneak into the kitchen late at night and eat sugar by the spoon because that's how addicted I was to sugar. Two things changed that for me. I started keeping a diary of when I felt like binging and realized I was mostly doing it when I was bored on the weekends so I started keeping myself busy and out of the house. I also started a low carb diet and my craving magically disappeared. Fat satisfies and fills you up so I don't have the need to snack on junk all day.
As for exercise, I am totally not a gym person. I do all my workouts first thing in the morning before my hubby wakes up and I do them right in my living room. I don't know if you're familiar with Beachbody but some of the popular programs are Insanity and P90X. A lot of those programs are only 30 minutes long so it's easier to fit them into your schedule.
Hope this helps!! Let me know 0 -
I understand how difficult it is to break the cycle of binge eating. It's a really bad habit and you repeatedly promise yourself you'll stop until it comes round to it and you say "just tonight, I'll start tomorrow, I promise". The key to breaking your urge to binge is start right now. If you've messed up your diet by eating something you shouldn't have, DONT carry on!! That's like dropping your phone then standing on it to break it even more. Forgive yourself for your slip up, and carry on. When you feel the urge to binge, brush your teeth to make you lose your appetite, or drink lots of water. What I did, was I got a jar and filled it with ice lolly sticks with activities on them. When I got the urge to binge, I picked out a stick and did whatever it said on it. This would distract me from binging. Do house work, exercise, read, have a bath, go to sleep, go for a walk... Get moving and make yourself feel better. I hope this helped!0
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My answer won't be popular, but it can work very well for some people.
I could not shake my snacking until I adopted a very low carb high fat ketogenic diet. I usually eat less than 30 g of carbs per day, around 5% of my calories, and those carbs are from veggies, eggs, nuts and cream (no potatoes, rice, very little fruit, and nothing made from flour or starch). I eat about 70-75% fat and moderate protein (20-25%).
It took a few days, but my cravings for food are gone now and my appetite is greatly diminished. I have soe days where I eat around 2000 calories and others that are at 1000, but most days I eat around 1500 calories with very little hunger. I've lost about 30 lbs in the last 3 months, and am now at a normal BMI, yet still losing at a good rate.
If it interests you, look into LCHF diets like Atkins, South Beach, or a vLCHF diet like nutritional ketosis (phase 1 Atkins)
Good luck.
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