I'm not doing this for you...

Nicki_G724
Nicki_G724 Posts: 629 Member
edited November 24 in Introduce Yourself
Hi all,

I'm Nicki, I'm 31, and from Minnesota. I've been overweight my whole life due to emotional eating and trying to hide from everyone, including a sexually abusive grandfather. I used to have the worst luck with men until I found my current boyfriend. I had lost 30 some pounds and was doing great. The. Depression kicked in and memories flooded back and I gained it all back.

I'm now at my highest weight and have tried everything to get the weight back off with no success. To make things worse, my boyfriend, now dating for over 5 years, won't stay with me if I don't get the weight off and get my act together...

Yes I want to stay with him and yes I want to have a healthy family. But I'm not doing this for him. My entire immediate family is very overweight and the health problems are really hitting hard. My father is prediabetic and has super high blood pressure and my mother is always going in to get something removed due to her declining health.

I know this is a lot for you all to read but, I just need to get it off my chest and find motivation because it's really lacking at the moment. All I get are snide remarks and under the breath comments. I need some positivity in my life. I need to get my happiness back.

Thank you for listening!

Replies

  • runner_boy
    runner_boy Posts: 9 Member
    Nicki, can't imagine what you've been through. You've got a great attitude though! Do this for yourself...you deserve this! Best wishes to you!
  • Nicki_G724
    Nicki_G724 Posts: 629 Member
    Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. :)
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    Nicki,

    I am sorry to hear about your traumatic past and I genuinely hope you have reached out for professional guidance in overcoming this. I really think it's important to deal with your history and put it to bed so it doesn't keep 'coming up' when you least expect it. If I could give you a great big hug right now I would.

    Your boyfriend sounds unsupportive and unhelpful and in my honest opinion, you could probably do a lot better without the likes of his disapproval dragging you down - but I understand my saying that isn't going to help you right now. In time, you'll see how valulable, special and unique you are regardless of what size you are. If your boyfriend can't see beyond the physical then he is simply no good. No good at all.

    MFP will definitely offer you as much support as you need and I hope, in time - you learn to love yourself and only allow people in your life who can see your worth. Wishing you the very, very best of luck here - remember to be gentle to yourself. This is a long process, but definitely worthwhile.

  • Nicki_G724
    Nicki_G724 Posts: 629 Member
    Thank you, Pink. I really needed that today. I have sought out help to get me through my past and it is helping. I really feel that shedding this weight will help as well, I ate to hide. But I'm not hiding anymore. :)
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Nicki, I'm so sorry this happened to you. My advice would be to get yourself into therapy to deal with the issues that have caused you to over eat. Since your aware that this trauma has caused emotional eating, you've already taken the first step . with counseling, its possible that you will be able to overcome the trauma and let go of the urge to over eat . instead you can work through these feelings without turning to food as comfort. I really do wish you the best. There's plenty of support here on mfp, so send out some friend requests, join groups that interest you here ( I think there's several over eats or emotional eaters groups that I've seen around ) and get yourself a food scale. You'll be on your way to weight loss:)
  • ilovecereal1982
    ilovecereal1982 Posts: 1,194 Member
    NICKI!!! You are going to kick some serious butt I know it...I was going to write *kitten* but didn't know if that was appropriate.
  • ilovecereal1982
    ilovecereal1982 Posts: 1,194 Member
    Hey look it wasn't appropriate after all!!!
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