feeling sad :-(

You need to kick him in the pants!! Tell him it's not your hot body that would make you run off it would be his nasty comments, insecurities and sheer lack of support that would make you find him not an ideal mate anymore. Sounds harsh but sometimes people need a kick in the butt.

My boyfriend is the typical male, so i'm with you on this...I have to ask him if i look good, rather then the other way around...I think he is so not with it when it comes to things with me, but i'm sure when I have my end results he'll be more apt to tell me I look good, which I know i'm gonna hate, cuz he should love me for me! LOL

My ex hated me losing weight, he wanted me to stay fat because he could control me better that way. My current partner is doing this with me! I think maybe you need to talk to him, or maybe counselling?

well THAT stinks! have you told him you don't feel support from him in this area of your life? he might not even notice. it sounds like you are exactly right: he might feel threatened that either you will run off, or you will no longer find him attractive. it also sounds like your words of reassurance are going in one ear and out the other.

bottom line: are you losing weight for yourself, or for him? I hope for yourself. of course, it'd be nice to get a "hey, lookin' good!" from the one man you want to be noticed by, but if you can't get it from him, no sense in trying to force fake compliments from him. just keep at it! show him that his negativity isn't affecting you. who knows, maybe he will realize he needs to become more healthy, too, both physically and mentally!

I just read this on another post.

Mon 06/06/11 11:59 AMGuys,

Is your wife / girlfriend / partner on a diet? Are you supporting her? If not, why not?

You need to wake up and smell the coffee. Our wives arent doing this for fun, they are doing it because they dont feel good about themselves and want to be the person you fell in love with, they are the same person but maybe there is just a little bit more of them.

As they lose weight, become more confident, guess what? they are going to become more attractive to other men, but hey, heres the rub, they arent looking for someone else to find them attractive, although it probably feels real good, they want you to find them attractive.

As they go on their walks, or to the gym, and leave you there, lying on the settee with your chinese take away and 4 pack of ;lager, its you that is losing out, and making yourself LESS attractive.

This journey should be one which you accompany your wife on, not send her off on her own while subconciously trying to ruin it.

Support and encouragement are what counts most in this. Get off your buts, walk together, and enjoy the results together!
Edited by jeff261159 on Mon 06/06/11 12:05 PM

I've just been reading a post about peoples husbands partners or significant others and how much they support them on their journey and its got me realising how little mine does!

He has always known me as big and is big himself so he seems to be seeing my weight loss as a threat and seems to think I'm going to run off when I'm at my ideal weight. He just won't listen when I say i want to be with him. I just feel like I'm doing this all alone in the real world he is always trying to sabotage my hard work or says my new lose clothes are to fitted and show my fat. just wish he could be happy for me.

Am I the only person here who gets no support from their other half? Sorry for moaning

My husband alternates between the two. He is actually pretty supportive most of the time. But there are days when he wants to have pizza and beer and I want to Zumba and then cook some brown rice and veggies. But I can usually bring him back around by bringing up the health aspects of weight gain/loss. He might still grumble a bit about the pizza but he has to admit that he'd rather have me healthy than not.

Nope, no support here. He hates the fact that I still have 15lbs to go to get to my goal weight. I've been doing this for 2 years and had a huge stand still. But what I've lost I haven't gained back. Plus I've been begging him to come to the gym with me because he says I don't work hard enough! But of course he hasn't gone at all.