Needing direction for new life goals

eque_price
eque_price Posts: 32 Member
edited November 24 in Motivation and Support
Hi all

I don't know what I am searching for but I know I feel lost. I have accomplished all of my goals in life at a young age. My career, home, kids, animals, fitness. The thing is now I have no new goals. I can't even seem to find new goals to focus on. The only thing I lack a bit in is finances. All my motivation is down the tubes. I can't even find the motivation to finish a 15 hour course on stress for crying out load. People probably think I am a whiner. That I have everything I fought so hard for so why complain. I have been reading online and this feeling is apparently normal. It's an empty feeling. I thought when I reached this level I would sit back and relax and enjoy the wave my hard work made. For the most part I have but this feeling keeps going. I don't like routine. I like to feel needed and I like to help people. I have hobbies I enjoy but not ones I have any real goal I feel the need or want to pursue. I love horses, but I am never going to be an Olympic rider so why pursue it any further other then to have some fun with my kids. I love fitness. My body is on the usual yoyo track of in great shape and ok shape. I don't want to compete so there is no real goal there. I just feel lost. I can't focus. I don't have any money to go back to school with and I doubt I would have the ability to focus now a days to be able to stick to it. I just don't know what to do to get me up and going and back to having drive and motivation.

Can anybody help shed some light on what is going on with me? I don't like this feeling. I am a very out going person but for the last 6 months this feeling sure has been bringing me down.

Thanks so much!

Replies

  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited September 2015
    Wow, type A personality for sure. :smile:

    I think part of the problem here is that you feel that if you can't be the "best" at what you do then it's not worth doing. That's something I just don't understand because I'm not wired the same way. For example, at the age of 45 I took up running. Am I ever going to win a race? Hell, no. I'm short, I'm slow and I'm past my "prime." To me, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't bother running, though. I compete against myself. I try for new personal best every time I race. Of course, I'm not the type of person who ever really sets a "goal", either. I didn't have goals for my personal life or my career that I wanted to reach by the "time I turn #". I'm just not that driven but I'm also not let down and I don't ever feel like "alright, I reached that one, what's next?", either. Life continues and I keep doing what I'm doing. Right or wrong, that's my life and I'm pretty happy with the way it's turning out so far.

    Since you're the goal-oriented type, it sounds like what you need to do is find something new that challenges you. Take up a new hobby or sport. Even better, you said you like to feel needed and help people. Volunteer with an organization and get involved or start your own organization if you see a need in your community. You have the right drive and determination to accomplish what you set your mind to, why not put it to good use?
  • eque_price
    eque_price Posts: 32 Member
    LOL! You nailed it with the Type A personality. Well done :-D You opened my eyes when you said I feel I have to be the best at everything I attempt or else I don't want to do it. That has made me think a bit. Need to figure out how to change my way of thinking because your way sounds way more relaxing and fun.

    I did do some new things last year and you are right it did help. I joined a therapy dog program and got my dog fully certified through all levels to be able to go into nursing homes, hospitals and now schools to help kids learn to read. I am a paramedic and what I would really like to do with that is join the critical incident stress management team but sadly due to lack of funding in that area I can't seem to get my foot in the door. I thought about what I can pursue to further my experience for that field but I don't have any money for schooling and if I wanted to be a psychologist that is 7 years of schooling and with kids and a mortgage that simply isn't going to happen. Not to mention my ability to focus and stick to things seems to have gone down the toilet.

    Every where I look to expand I seem to run into closed doors and I think it may be part of my problem when it comes to lack of motivation to get up and go... :(
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    eque_price wrote: »
    LOL! You nailed it with the Type A personality. Well done :-D You opened my eyes when you said I feel I have to be the best at everything I attempt or else I don't want to do it. That has made me think a bit. Need to figure out how to change my way of thinking because your way sounds way more relaxing and fun.

    I did do some new things last year and you are right it did help. I joined a therapy dog program and got my dog fully certified through all levels to be able to go into nursing homes, hospitals and now schools to help kids learn to read. I am a paramedic and what I would really like to do with that is join the critical incident stress management team but sadly due to lack of funding in that area I can't seem to get my foot in the door. I thought about what I can pursue to further my experience for that field but I don't have any money for schooling and if I wanted to be a psychologist that is 7 years of schooling and with kids and a mortgage that simply isn't going to happen. Not to mention my ability to focus and stick to things seems to have gone down the toilet.

    Every where I look to expand I seem to run into closed doors and I think it may be part of my problem when it comes to lack of motivation to get up and go... :(

    I can see where that would be demoralizing. Perhaps you need to start with something a little more simple. Volunteer some time at a local soup kitchen, homeless shelter or something similar. You don't need to overdo it, especially if you don't have a lot of free time (I know I don't!) but if your children are old enough it's also good to expose them to the concept of helping others. In some ways, what you're trying to do is a little like trying to find a spouse so my advice is similar to someone who can't find single people to date: hang out with people who are doing things similar to what you enjoy and network. Many people know other people involved in similar organizations and you're liable to find some openings that way.

    My husband works for a company that provides services to the developmentally disabled. Through him, I'm always meeting people who are involved in similar organizations, some for-profit, some non-profit. My mother-in-law is heavily involved in the local diaper bank and the same goes for her. Charity work is one of the most fulfilling things we can do.
  • musthavescentscanada
    musthavescentscanada Posts: 27 Member
    Can I also just interject, you MAY have a low-grade depression.
    That feeling of apathy, lack of motivation, the "why bother" feeling...very similar experiences to someone who has suffered through a depressive episode. Especially if you've had this feeling for some time.
    Certainly couldn't hurt to ask your MD, or do a bit of research. You may stumble into some strategies that may help you refind your mojo...good luck!
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    You didn't say if your fitness involved running. I think running is a great way to get your body moving and get a runners "high". If you are not a runner start slow and set some goals like 5K, 10K or a Half marathon. If that doesn't appeal volunteer work in your community may be another place to look or find a hobby that has interest. Good luck, I hope it works out well.
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