The Mental Journey is the hardest

I've been at the batting cage before so to speak. There were many attempts before this one where I had tried (and had succeeded) at losing weight. But then, later, only gained some or all of it back again for various reasons.

That is how I ended up at 290 lbs.

I have been working on it, slowly this time and have been more successful at keeping it off. I lost 70ish lbs. so far and have kept it off for over a year (yay me!).
Now, I am working on the last 60 or so lbs.

Why was I successful this time and not the previous times? I believe it was because I changed my mindset. It was a mental issue that brought me to this weight. Much like an addict, I was drawn again and again to food as a comfort for the hard things I did not want to deal with in my life.

No one will tell you about all the difficult things you have to go through when you start losing weight.

You keep telling yourself "Once I lose this weight I will _________" fill in the blank.

I will wear that bikini or I will get that guy/girl or any plethora of small achievements you think you will be able to do once you get there.

The reality is... you will never get there. You ARE already there. You just have to reach inside of yourself and realize that. It takes a lot of soul searching and lot of long, hard looks in the mirror and lots of tears and a lot of blood and a lot of pain and sore, aching muscles to understand this.

No one told me that once I got "there" I would feel better about myself. I actually felt worse. I was more self conscientious and more demanding of myself. I was the hardest critic of what I "should" look like and what I "do" look like. Really though, I was scared of change. I was scared of what the future would hold for this new person. I was scared that I didn't know who I was anymore. People looked at me different and I got lots of new attention that I didn't get before. BUT... it wasn't all good.

Some people resent that fact that I lost weight and didn't gain it back. They become cynical, or stop talking to you and hanging out with you because you are not like them anymore. You talk about running shoes and and lunges instead of what kind of french fries to order. You are more interested in cottage cheese than cheesecake. So, yes, this mental blow can derail you quickly.

Family can get weird also. Now I know you all know some food pushers. Baby sister over there or Uncle Joe who says you need to eat cuz you're getting too thin or it's the holiday or so n so's birthday and... just eat it. Some family members get mad if you don't eat what they made for you. You just have to buck up and tell them what's up. This can cause ripples and yes, family has a hard time changing too.

You also realize that a lot more people want to know you. This is both good and bad. The more people you know, the more you realize we all have hangups. And some people you thought were great, are really just not.. at all!

Also, get used to your new body. It looks a lot like you old one, just smaller. It's still you, just without the fat. This is really hard for people. Again, I admit, I was scared when I started seeing changes too.

All of this messes with your head. Again, I think this is why we fail and go back to the Hagen Daas. If you can push past the mental issues and realize that we are not perfect and that NOT everyone will support you on this journey, then you will be alright.

Thanks for reading! Comments, feedback, anything you would like to say, please let me know.